My body is so fucking sore.
Waking up this morning feels like I got hit by a truck the night before. It's worse than a bad hangover and I can feel it ripping through my entire body.
As I go to move my hand up to my head, which is throbbing like no tomorrow, I feel a sharp pain run through my sides and I hiss out, arching my back in the bed I'm currently on. A bed that doesn't feel familiar at all, but the scent of it does. Vanilla and saltwater.
That's when it hits me.
My walk home. Being pulled into the alleyway. Niall. Pain. The bracelet. Crawling to Harry's house.
Harry's house.
I showed up here last night and what happened after that? I can't remember at all. It's in that moment that it hits me why the scent is so familiar. It's Harry's scent. The same one that I've started to become obsessed with these last few weeks.
I go to open my eyes, wincing at the pain I'm feeling and as soon as I do, I'm met with my own reflection staring back at me. The first thing I notice is the huge ceiling mirror that Harry has and I can't help the soft gasp that leaves my mouth at the sight of it as my cheeks tint pink.
It's the last thing I was expecting to see.
Next, I notice a sleeping body next to me. My eyes flicker over to look at Harry through the mirror and I swallow tightly before I slowly turn my head to stare at him.
His body is turned towards me, one hand shoved under the pillow and his lips parted as slow breaths leave it. I feel warmth against my stomach and notice that his other hand is resting there, fingers splayed across the expanse of it.
Faint memories of his voice ring in and out of my ears as I try to remember more of yesterday, but I can't really seem to. I was so in and out of consciousness that I remember him talking to me but I can't grasp exactly what it is that he might have said.
I take another quick glance at his face before shifting myself a little and a groan leaves my lips at the pain. Harry immediately shuffles on the bed and I freeze in my spot. I watch as his eyes flutter open and I'm met with the eyes that have permanently etched themselves in my brain.
I softly smile at Harry and he sleepily smiles back at me before realization takes over him and he's quickly scrambling up in bed beside me. "Oh god, Blue." His voice is scratchy, deep and raw in the morning and I'm convinced that this is my new favourite sound.
The first thing I notice is that he's shirtless. I tell myself not to gawk at him but that doesn't go very far when I rake my gaze over him, finally dragging them up to meet his eyes. He notices right away, a small look of amusement on his face before he shakes his head at me.
"Good morning." I softly speak, sheepishly smiling at him and trying to mask the pain I feel. His eyes quickly flicker over my face, taking in what may be the worst I've ever looked and he shuffles himself closer to me, a worried expression taking over the amusement he had just displayed moments before.
"Fuck. Don't 'good morning' me, are you okay?" He frantically asks, raising his hand up to my face.
His fingers run over my bruises and he takes his time with it, running the pads of his fingers over multiple spots on my face. I haven't even looked at myself properly but I know it's awful.
I nod at him, wincing as my head pounds when I do it too quickly and Harry frowns. "You're lying."
His fingers move my hair away from my face and he cups it in his hand. His thumb brushes over my busted lip as he keeps his eyes on mine. "Don't lie to me." His voice holds so much vulnerability in it, I almost start crying right then and there.
"I'm sorry," I choke out and Harry swallows tightly, shaking his head at me. His hand moves behind my neck, cupping it as he moves himself closer to me. "Stop," he murmurs against my mouth, giving me a soft kiss before pulling away.
"You don't have to say sorry for anything. None of this is your fault, Indigo." He continues to brush his fingers over my face. I close my eyes, relishing in the feeling of him touching me before I open them again.
Indigo.
He said my name.
"Say that again," I excitedly say, smiling wide despite the low pulse drumming in my lips. I look over at him, seeing him already smiling at me. His smile widens before he graces me with what I've asked. "Indigo."
He presses a featherlight kiss to my parted lips. "Indigo." Kiss. "Indigo." Kiss. "Indigo, Indigo, Indigo." Kiss.
I laugh against his mouth, gently fisting the fabric of his sweats in my hand. My chest burns alongside my laughter, turning my once airy laughs into groans of protest. Harry immediately sobers up and goes on guard.
His eyes soften as they trail over my face. "Seeing you passed out in front of my door...it terrified the fuckin' shit out me, Peach."
He whispers the ending and I can feel my heart clench. I look at him with softness in my gaze and he holds my stare, memorizing how I look. "I-I didn't mean to scare you, I was just walking and someho–" I begin to say and Harry brings a finger up to my lips to silence me.
"You don't have to explain anything. I'm glad you're here and that you came to me." His eyes stay fixated on my bruised cheek. "This should have never happened."
I nod at him before finally gaining the courage to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to me. I ignore the ache in my muscles and the sharp shooting pain that lasts a few seconds. I just want him close to me. If I never showed up here, I don't know what would have happened to me.
He sighs as soon as he's against me, his face buried in the crook of my neck and we stay like that in silence. I could stay like this all day, probably for the rest of my life but I'm so painfully sore that I know it's not possible.
I move a little in discomfort and Harry immediately hovers over me, his arms resting on either side of me. "Shit, I'm sorry babe." He rolls off of me, and I'm secretly grateful. I would much rather prefer the warmth of him pressed against me but it seems as if my body doesn't want that at the moment.
"It's okay," I murmur, turning my head to smile at him. Harry turns his head too so the both of us are shoulder to shoulder, faces lined up with each other. I can make out every inch of his sleepy face, and the both of us just stay like that for a few seconds, our expressions saying everything that words can't.
I'm sorry.
I'm the first to break my gaze from him and let my eyes drift up to the ceiling again. It's only now that I truly notice that the shirt I'm wearing is not my work one. Instead of my jeans and work shirt, I'm in an oversized olive green t-shirt.
"You- I had to get you cleaned up." Harry stares back at me through the mirror and takes my silence as something to be worried about. "I didn't look, I swear. I just needed you clean and I needed to see where you were hurt. I swear Pe–"
"It's okay, Harry. Thank you."
His body visibly relaxes as we stare at one another through the mirror. My face flushes as I imagine the things this mirror has been used for.
Harry catches this based on the low rumbling of his chest and presses a kiss to my shoulder. "Wanted the first time you see it to be when we put it to use. Maybe next time," he whispers. His hand runs over the top of my thigh as my cheeks only burn brighter.
I've got a ghastly black eye and my cheek is bruised. Never mind my swollen and busted lips. I don't see any blood though, telling me Harry cleaned it all up last night. I still don't look remotely okay though.
"Let's wait until I don't look like a wolffish," I tease, looking back at him and enjoying the way his face lights up.
He gives my thigh a gentle squeeze as a groan rumbles in his throat. He smiles against the side of my face, lightly nipping at the hinge of my jaw. "A wolffish is a good choice, but I was thinking more along the lines of a fuckin' anglerfish."
I've watched Finding Nemo enough times to know that calling me an anglerfish isn't a good thing.
I let out a choked gasp and stretch my fingers out to pinch his hip. Harry burrows his face into the crook of my neck, his teeth grazing the skin there as he laughs. His fingers draw lazy circles on my thigh.
My chest hurts with every expansion but I swallow the pain down and enjoy this moment. "You ass." He squeezes my leg in response, still nipping away at my neck.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Tell me where it hurts, baby." He mumbles into my neck and I reach up to run my fingers through his hair. "Everywhere." I quietly murmur, thinking that there's no point in lying when he can clearly see right through me.
Guilt immediately washes over him as he scans my face yet again. He watches me as I move my hand down towards my stomach to brush my fingers over it.
I immediately wince at the tenderness, causing Harry to quickly lift my shirt up. I ignore the tightness of my neck and crane my head to look down. My entire rib area is bruised, the colours ranging from blue to purple to yellow. It's like a rainbow.
Before I can catch his eye, Harry rolls over to straddle me again, this time with hands on either side of me planted on the mattress and making sure not to apply pressure anywhere. With his eyes trained on my torso, he grimaces.
"God, I'm so fuckin' sorry." His voice is so quiet I barely hear it.
"It's not your fault–" "It is."
He lets out a sigh as he drops his head down. Suddenly I feel his warm, soft lips gently run along my torso. I barely feel them pucker against the bruised skin with how delicate and caring he's being. So soft.
"If I saw your text in time–" he presses a long kiss to my ribs "–I would have gone and picked you up. You wouldn't be hurt–" another kiss "–bruised, and in pain right now." He continues his trail of kisses and I find the strength to raise one hand up to his hair again, feeling the softness weave through my fingers.
I stay silent as he works his way up, kissing over my clothed chest, trailing his lips across the expanse of my neck before giving my jaw one long and wet kiss. "'M sorry. Never wanted to see you hurt because of me. Please forgive me."
If only he knew how badly I want to say those words back to him right now. If only he knew how fucking sorry I am for all of this. For everything.
His nose nudges against my own before he captures his lips with mine. He's gentle with my split lip, focusing more on the top one giving me just the right amount of softness and pressure.
Harry pulls back sooner than I'd like, opening his eyes and staring down at me like he has so much to say but doesn't know how. He gives my lips a few more pecks, making the both of us smile.
"Apology accepted, Boss. Even though it wasn't your fault in the first place." I don't tell him what Niall said. I don't tell him that he planted a seed of doubt in my brain. Not yet.
Harry just smiles, kissing the underside of my jaw before leaning back. On his knees above me, he takes another glance at my colourful torso. "Be back in a minute."
I watch as he shuffles off the bed, not bothering to throw a shirt on as he opens the bedroom door and walks through it, closing it behind him. I take this moment to look around his room as much as I can without moving.
Despite the mirrored ceiling and the aquarium tank embedded in the wall in place of a headboard, his room is pretty normal. Messy and dark, but normal. Random cardigans litter the floor and chair, giant textbooks about marine life are stacked on his nightstand, and a gun rests on his dresser.
I catch myself smiling at the sight of the cardigan I got him for Christmas. It's folded neatly on the edge of his dresser.
The door opens off to my right and I look over to see Harry coming back into view with an ice pack in hand and a dog behind him. A big fluffy dog.
He sits on the bed, mumbling a quiet apology as he places the ice pack on my ribs. "Had this on you last night for a bit."
My eyes stay focused on the German Shepherd who's resting his head on Harry's leg. "You have a dog?" I ask with a faint smile, the skin of my lips pulling as I do so. Harry glances down at the dog, ruffling the top of his head with a smile on his face. "Yeah. Meet Reef."
If my head wasn't throbbing I'd have already rolled my eyes by now at the name.
I'm surprised Harry never brought him up in conversation, but that just goes to show how private he really is. I don't know much about him but I'll take any little bit he gives me.
Reef nudges his face over Harry's thigh, making Harry give him some more attention. The sight of Reef's wagging tail warms my chest. Yesterday, I would have never imagined that Harry could love any animal more than his fish. I was so wrong.
"He's cuter than your scaly fuckin' thing, yeah?"
I pinch Harry's knee, glaring at him. Reef catches my hand movement and his floppy ears move with his head. God, he's cute.
"Hmm, debatable." I tease. Harry grins back.
Slowly, I move my arm out to let my hand dangle over the edge of the bed. Reef sniffs it before giving my fingers a lick. "Hi Reef." He nudges his wet nose against my hand again and a choked laugh tumbles out of me, followed by a wheeze and a groan of pain. Harry immediately tenses.
"Fuck, babe." He smooths my hair back and hovers over me. Reef jumps up onto the bed on the other side of me, curling up into a ball beside my legs. "I'm gonna kill whoever did this to you, yeah? Straight to the fuckin' shark tank."
His fingers mindlessly twirl my hair, the ice pack doing wonders to numb my torso as I let myself sink into the mattress. My entire body aches but focusing on Harry's touch makes it all ache just a little bit less.
His eyes roam around my face for a moment before he ducks down closer. His breath mingles with mine as his hand slides down to gently cup my neck. He doesn't say anything as he leans down and presses a soft kiss to my top lip. I barely feel it with how gentle he's being but it's more than enough.
I watch as he puts the ice pack on the nightstand and crawls over me, wedging himself between Reef and I. He gently throws his leg overtop of mine, laying on his side right up against mine without so much as touching my upper body. His hands fiddle with my hair again.
"You need to tell me what happened, Peach." Immediately, thoughts of last night flash behind my eyes and I tense on the bed. Harry notices this, just like he notices everything else about me, and kisses the side of my jaw. "I'm right here. You're safe now with me."
He didn't just point out that I'm safe overall, he made sure to let me know that I'm safe with him.
And I feel it too, I do feel safe with him. Despite what Niall said, Harry has become someone who has given me comfort, laughs, tears, all of it. Even if he's done something wrong now, I'd never forget what he managed to give me these last few months.
With that in mind, I take a deep breath. "He took my bracelet."
I turn my head, our noses brushing against each other. I take in the furrow of his brows before he drops his eyes to my wrists, realization dawning over his face. He knows exactly who did this to me.
"Fuck." He whispers, "Niall's a fuckin' dead man." I subtly shake my head and pinch his leg. "That's exactly what he wants. He wants you angry because he knows you'll do something reckless. You can't." Harry goes to respond but I interrupt him. "He knew I was there with you too."
Harry lets out an exasperated breath, clearly angry with himself. "He targeted you on purpose. He knows well enough to stay away from any of our business but he never fuckin' listens." His voice gets louder, grabbing the attention of Reef. "If he had a problem with me he should have fuckin' dealt with me!"
I'm quick to raise my hand to his face in an effort to calm him. Reef tucks his face against Harry's legs. "Relax, Harry." I rub my thumb over the edge of his jaw, briefly touching his scar and he softens under my touch. "What's done is done."
Harry shakes his head at me. "This is all fuckin' Joseph's fault. He forced us to do this shit and drag you into it. He was putting you in danger and yet he didn't give a shit." He shuts his eyes briefly before opening them to look at me, intensity in his stare. "I promise I won't let this happen again."
I nod at him, pushing my hand against his chest to get him to calm down. Harry lets out a tense breath, settling himself beside me and I lay quietly, before a thought crosses my mind. Something Niall said to me.
"Harry?" I quietly ask. His attention quickly shifts back to me. My fingers pick at my nail beds. "Why did my bracelet have blue gems? Everyone else has red ones."
I brace myself for an unpleasant answer. One that would gut me and rip apart any semblance of who I think Harry and Zayn are. I prepare myself for the hurt I know that if anything, I'd deserve to feel. Even though I've promised myself I won't give Derek any more damaging information, I've already done more than enough.
Harry lets out a deep sigh, grabbing my hands and pulling them apart to cease my anxious behaviour. He fiddles with my fingers, refusing to make eye contact with me which only intensifies the worry festering within me.
"It was my idea, giving you those gems." My chest grows tight. "They're blue spinel gems. Very fuckin' rare and valuable. We hardly ever get the chance to possess them," he pauses, "Actually, the ones in your bracelet were all we had."
He still hasn't looked me in the eye, keeping his gaze on my hands as he fiddles with them. I let him, knowing better than anyone that spilling the truth to someone you've come to grown comfortable with is one of the hardest fucking things to do. I rue the day that turns into a reality for me.
"Everyone in the gem world wants them, selling them in the market would bring in a hefty fuckin' profit. Shit, I almost got killed getting them." He emptily laughs, shutting his eyes tight for a minute. I feel the temple of his forehead rest against my shoulder. His breath is shaky.
"Sometimes I go to Thailand. I don't ever talk about it and Zayn doesn't know but I go there so he doesn't have to. I become a mule, shuffling drugs from country to country and sometimes even bringing some back. I have been at Joseph's command for years now."
His confession lingers in the air between us. Heavy, dark. My heart aches at the lengths he goes to protect Zayn.
"I got most of those gems from Sri Lanka, the rest from Vietnam. Having them in my possession put a target over my head but Joseph wouldn't let me sell them. So, I put them in your bracelet. Figured they may be safe with you."
My body immediately tenses as his words soak in. "So instead of putting a target over your head, you put it over mine instead?" I ask, turning my head to look at him. He briefly catches my eyes with his before lowering them again. "You know that I've come into contact with Niall, you don't think he or any of his people ever noticed it around my wrist?"
I'm conflicted. Very conflicted. A part of me is upset because Harry put a target on my back without giving me any sort of warning. If I had known, I could have hidden the bracelet around him, I could have done something to ensure that no one outside of Shark Bait saw it. I could have protected myself and the gems.
On the other hand, I know I don't have the right to be upset. I don't have the right to be mad about what he did because, well, he doesn't know about Derek. He doesn't know about my job. I'm upset at Harry for doing something involving me, without me knowing, when I've also done exactly that.
The only difference is that Harry has told the truth.
I take a breath and stare at Harry until my gaze burns the side of his head. After a few seconds, he turns his head to look at me, our noses almost touching as his eyes pool with worry.
"They could have done a lot worse to me last night. They could have killed me if they wanted to, Harry. I understand that you were trying to save yourself and Zayn but in the process, you put me in danger. Danger I had no idea about and it left me like this, battered and bruised."
I hope my words resonate with him. I'm trying not to be upset but I want him to know how stupid his idea was. I'm so focused on this right now that I can't let myself break down the information of him going to Thailand.
Is that where he went the last time he vanished?
"You don't think I fuckin' know that?" He lets out a grunt, grasping my chin between his fingers. His eyes stay locked on mine. "I fucked up, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I told you, Peach, I'm so sorry this happened and it's going to fuckin' kill me for life knowing I did this to you. Fuck. I just..."
I can hear how sorry he is in his voice. I can hear the strain, the slight quiver when he assessed my injuries one more time. I know he's probably tearing himself up right now.
He puts a lot of weight on his shoulders and it's moments like this where I realize how hard he's struggling to stay afloat.
"I never meant for you to get involved in any of this," he says quietly. I grab his face in my hands. "I know Harry, I know."
Harry always has made sure that I never get involved in any of the big things, or if I was forced to, he protected me to the best of his ability. He's always been so against me being involved but he didn't have a choice and at the time, I wanted in.
I feel the fear swimming inside me over Niall and I'm terrified of what he can possibly do. If he wanted to, he would have told Harry by now right? Then why hasn't he? Unless he's going to use that to his leverage which I shouldn't put past him.
Harry notices the fear on my face and leans forward to press his lips to mine, not caring about the bruising this time.
I relish in it, feeling so safe in this moment with him. So content. So happy. His lips part my own, staying pressed against mine as his hand cups my face, fingers tangling into the strands of my hair.
"You're okay with me. You're safe. This won't happen again. I promise."
"I know, shark boy."
His teeth nip at my lips and I go to shuffle myself closer to him when Harry straddles my lap again, planting his hands on either side of my head. I look up at him with a smirk on my lips.
"Now that we've got that out of the way, what do you think about ordering injured old me some sushi?"
Harry's eyes almost instantaneously flicker up to his tank above the bed before he glares down at me. I teeth my lower lip. It's so fun to tease him.
I stick my tongue out, wishing I could stay in bed with Harry forever. He ducks down to lightly bite on the tip of my tongue, humming as he does so. "Like hell we're gonna eat sushi in my house."
I curl my tongue back in, preparing myself for the gentle attack that's about to come my way for the words I'm about to spew. But a welcome attack nonetheless.
"That's too bad. I heard cowfish taste lovely this time of year."
Author's Note: god they're so ghfdjkghfjd
'As It Was' comes out later today and we're both shitting ourselves in excitement <3
Love you all, see you next week!
A & S