Mild weather, lit towns, and excitement all build up the holiday season in Portugal. Though it's not something I understand the hype for completely, mum absolutely loves it and I'll do whatever it takes to see her smiling her soft, warm smile at me.
Christmas with my mum is something I'll never take for granted. The entire house smells of Bolo Rei and Sonhos – both of which are things Zayn's about to try for the very first time. Actually, he's about to try every single Christmas dessert my mum could afford to buy the ingredients for.
She wanted to make this the most memorable and special Christmas for him and seeing her excitement for all the things she has planned has definitely sparked a little bit of excitement in me too.
As we neared closer and closer to the 24th, my mum sent me on a mission to secretly uncover what type of Christmas celebrations Zayn has had, if he's even had any. She cried when I told her what I'd found out.
Zayn has never had a proper Christmas celebration, or if he has, he was too young to remember now. "Filhós? Rabanadas? Aletria?" I asked him, only to get a quizzical look in return. Zayn had no idea what I was talking about.
It seemed as if these were all things he's never experienced and it made my stomach churn in a way I didn't understand. How could someone not have ever tasted the luxury of these desserts? It didn't make any sense to me because those are things I'm always used to around this time of year. They're things that mum always makes sure we have, or at least tries to.
I had a hard time initially wrapping my head around it. Mum had to sit me down and explain what a blessing it was that I got to experience such things, even though we ourselves have less than others.
Even though I knew Zayn was homeless, I never understood why that meant he couldn't celebrate Christmas, even by himself. It was only after our talk that I finally understood the gravity of homelessness and how much it could affect someone.
I have never felt more grateful since then.
So now here we are, gathered around the table with ample desserts placed in front of Zayn as mum and I eagerly watch on. She's standing behind me, arms locked around my chest and her cheek pressed against the top of my head. I let her do it because I know that soon enough I'll be taller than her and she won't get to coddle me like she loves to do.
Little does she know that I'll always sit in smaller chairs just for her to do that to me all the time. I love it just as much as her, maybe even more.
I tried to describe the desserts to Zayn, getting ahead of myself as the smell wafted through the house and he only stared at me with what looked like humour and amusement at my excitement. It's when mum finally started placing the plates down that I saw what looked like both happiness and hunger on his face.
"Try it, querido." Zayn gives us both a skeptical look before glancing down at the plate of Sonhos. He catches his eyes with mine and all I do is smile, lightly nodding my head.
"With...with me?" Zayn asks, holding up a piece for me to take. His English has gotten slightly better over these last few months – still broken but understandable. We try to speak in both English and Portuguese around him so that he's comfortable but he's insistent on using English because he wants to get better at it.
I can't help but to feel a surge of pride rush through me whenever I watch Zayn do or say new things. Whenever I see the hint of a smile on his face I get excited, I know he's trying his hardest. I just want what's best for him.
We've come to be super close. I can see us being friends for a very very long time and that makes me happy. I've never had a best friend before. Especially one that gets to live with me.
Mum lets go of me with a kiss to the top of my head as I grab the Sonhos from his hand and make my way over to sit beside him. With mum watching on, I shyly tap my Sonhos against his before we both raise them to our lips, devouring them whole.
I almost let my eyes close as the taste spreads over my tongue but I refuse to miss Zayn's reaction. His eyes widen as he chews, quietly humming as his chewing becomes faster. My mother just about squeals in glee as he reaches for another one, quickly throwing it into his mouth as his eyes dart between mine and mum's.
"Good....so good. Obrigado."
Mum can't contain herself any longer and rushes over to cup Zayn's cheeks, littering kisses all over his head. "Oh, I'm so happy, querido! Eat, eat! Feliz natal meu amor."
This is how I spend the next hour, stuffing my face full of mum's desserts with Zayn.
I can't stop watching Zayn as we do so, noticing all the little expressions he makes as he continues to try the whole table filled with different desserts. I can't help but to smile along with him, stuffing my face with the sweet treats as well, occasionally looking over at mum to see her watching us with so much happiness.
I've never been happier.
"Estou cheio que dói-me a barriga." Zayn eventually says as he leans back into his seat when he's finally had enough. His hands rub over his stomach, a content smile on his face as he relishes in the post-dessert aftermath.
His words make mum and I laugh and I nudge a piece of Bolo Rei towards him only for him to playfully glare at me.
Mum walks over to Zayn, turning him to face her so she can pinch both of his cheeks before grinning down at him. She runs her fingers through his hair, staring at him with a soft look on her face and I can recognize that look anywhere.
It's how she looks at me.
I thought I would feel jealous. I've always thought that if my mum had to split her attention between me and someone else that I would hate it. But I don't. And maybe that's because it's Zayn and no one could ever possibly hate him or maybe it's simply because I love him. He's another member of our family and I can't ever imagine another day without him. We're best friends.
I watch in awe as mum leans down to press a kiss to Zayn's head and he smiles brightly, closing his eyes in contentment. I know exactly what he's feeling right now, a mother's touch and comfort are the best thing ever. Our mother's touch and comfort.
When she's done, she walks a few steps over to me and does the same. I squeeze her tightly, hearing her sigh out in happiness. She pulls away from me, trailing her fingers over my cheeks before smiling at the two of us.
"Aqui, meus meninos lindos." She gestures towards the tiny room beside the table we're sitting at where a small couch resides, enough space for all of us to sit. Zayn and I rush over to the couch and I watch her quickly clean up the table, humming a small tune under her breath. I can't help but wonder if everyone in the world is as incredible as my mum.
Zayn knocks his knee with mine and I glance over at him to see his eyes on my mum too. He looks over at me before softly murmuring out, "A-Amazing." I breathe out a laugh and break eye contact from him, shaking my head. "Yeah, she really is."
Once mum finishes her cleaning, she comes to meet us in the small room, pointing towards our sparsely decorated Christmas tree. "Go." She can surely sense our excitement before we even show it. She's a mom, they always know what kids are feeling.
We've had this tree for years now. It's getting on its last leg but we can't afford to buy a new one which is fine with me. Mum and I just make the most out of it.
This year, the three of us decorated the tree with tinsel and homemade decorations. Last year I found some Christmas lights in the trash outside of the aquarium so I took them out and brought them home. Some of the lights don't work but I don't mind and neither does mum. "It makes our tree special," is what she says.
I jump up out of my seat grabbing Zayn's wrist before we head over to our Christmas tree. I take in that there are six gifts. Two for each of us. Two more than last year.
I know my mum worked more overtime than usual last month but since we have Zayn around now, she feels better about leaving me to go to work now that I've got him. I hate that she has to do that since Joseph doesn't give us barely any money, at least not enough to help mum, but she insists that she's okay with it because 'we're just kids.'
I'm 12, not 2.
I take care of her garden for her in return though, weeding it and watering her flowers. It's one of my favourite things to do. I especially love it more when she's gardening with me because it's an 'us' thing.
At first, she wouldn't let me even near them, swatting my hand away anytime I went to go and touch any of the flowers. "Lembra-te que te disse para não tocares," she would teasingly say to me but would always end up letting me smell the beautifully grown out flowers.
Eventually she began to trust me enough to let me take care of the garden. I'm older now.
"Zayn first!" My mother grabs his two presents from under the tree and brings them over to him, placing them on his lap as we all now sit on the floor. He looks over at us in shock as we sit in front of him, my mother kissing his cheek before pulling me between her legs. "Me?"
"Feliz natal, Zayn," I say with a smile, not understanding why he's suddenly crying. Silent tears race down his cheeks and I begin to worry.
Mum is quick to reach over my shoulder and thumb away Zayn's tears, her own sniffles echoing his. "Don't cry, querido. Nós amamos te."
"Também amo te," he whispers back to us.
With that, my mum settles back behind me as we watch Zayn rip open his presents. As he takes in his new ring and sets of new clothes and pyjamas, he's silent. He's staring so hard as if he's afraid they'll disappear if he looks away for just one second.
He looks to be in shock but the faint smile on his lips tells me that he's happy, which is all I want for him. It makes me happy to see him having such a good time with us. I never want him to feel alone again.
I got him a ring as his present, a silver one with two koi fish on it. Mum helped me pick it out at the market last week, and I got myself one to match. The fish are me and him. Together till the end. Best friends forever.
He also doesn't own any clothes, that was mum's doing. I've just been sharing my clothes with him but they're expensive and we don't have the money to buy him his own. These are his first sets of clothes and pyjamas that he can call his own. They're his.
"We match, Zayn," I speak up, holding my hand out in front so he can see the ring on my finger. His eyes dart from my hand to the ring on the ground but he stays silent, his chest heaving as tense breaths puff out of his nose.
"Mum...?" I ask as I turn to look at her, confused as to why he's not saying anything. She just shushes me and kisses my cheek.
I've barely got my head turned back around before Zayn is barreling over to us, dropping down onto his knees to wrap us both up in one of his warm hugs – one that I automatically reciprocate. "Muito obrigado. Não sei como devo agradecer-lhe. Você salvou a minha vida."
"Oh, meu amor," mum cries, holding Zayn tighter against us, "Agora és nossa família."
Zayn pulls back from the hug wiping his cheeks as he looks back at his gifts again, his eyes wide with awe. I feel sad for him because I know our Christmas isn't big and fancy like some of the other kids in the neighbourhood so if he's crying over ours I can't imagine what past Christmases were like for him. He must have been so lonely.
But I'm determined he never feels that way ever again.
With a smile on his face, he goes back over to his presents and slowly slides the ring onto his finger, his index one, the same one I've got my ring on as well. "Matching..." he whispers to himself, twirling the ring around his finger before looking up at me and mum. His smile is so big it takes up his entire face.
"Your turn!" Zayn says with a cheer, reaching under the tree to grab the two presents for my mum. I scoot out of her hold and move to sit beside Zayn, smiling at the way her eyes light up at the two small packages. She deserves more than these two gifts. I wish I could give her more.
"Meus meninos," she gasps, holding the wrapped presents to her heart. "You deserve it. Not extr- extrav- extrav–" Zayn looks over at me to jump in for him, struggling with the word. "They're not extravagant mum, but we hope you love them."
She begins tearing open Zayn's gift. "I'll love anything you two give me, amorzinho." The two of us anxiously watch as she rips away the wrapping paper, exchanging nervous glances.
We couldn't do much for her considering we have no money and very limited supplies but we wanted to make sure she had at least something from us. Something that she would remember forever.
As soon as she lays her eyes on his painting of the jellyfish exhibit from Oceanário de Lisboa, her hand flies up to her mouth and her glossy eyes catch Zayn's. "Zayn...did you paint this?" She carefully runs her fingers over the painting, smiling to herself which makes me happy. She deserves to be happy.
Zayn goes red in the face. "Joseph let me. He gave me brush and I painted for you. Favourite animal."
He only slightly bends the truth. He stole the supplies from Joseph but she doesn't have to know that. And the smile on her face lets us both know that the theft was worth it. She looks so incredibly happy. He would do it all over again for her too.
"Obrigado, Zayn. It's beautiful." She puts the painting down and pulls Zayn in for a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "My turn, mum," I speak up as Zayn moves back to sit beside me again. She picks up my gift to her now, causing my hands to sweat.
As soon as she opens my gift, she immediately begins to cry. My back straightens in worry as she cups her mouth to control her cries and I begin to panic. "Wh-What's wrong? Don't you like it?"
She places the package on the ground and crawls over to haul me into her chest, forcing me to curl up against her. "Harry...how..." she unwinds one arm to grab the package of passionflower seeds from off the ground. "Where did you get these?"
The look on her face is one of shock. I don't know why she's surprised though because she's been talking about this type of flower for months now. They're her favourite but they don't grow here and they're expensive to import, at least, too expensive for us. I could see how badly she wanted them so I made it my mission to do everything possible to get my hands on them and if it means selling my soul to Joseph for a few extra weeks then that's what I'll do.
I'd do anything for her.
"I wanted you to have them for your garden. You deserve the best. Eu amo te, mãe." She pulls my head back to pinch my cheeks, her own wet with tears. She kisses my cheeks, nose, and forehead before giving me a shaky smile, one that's well worth the hell I'll be put through these next few weeks for the price of these seeds. "Eu amo te mais."
"Harry's turn now!" Zayn pipes up, grabbing the last two presents from under the tree. I stay in mum's arms as he brings them over to me, too comfy to move. I open his first, slowly peeling back the paper to reveal a box.
On the top of the box it says 'Fish Facts for Harry'. Upon opening it, I see what looks to be hundreds of pieces of paper inside, all folded up. My eyes shoot up to look at Zayn as his cheeks go pink. "365 fish facts. One each day."
My jaw drops and I can hear my mum already crying behind me. "You...Zayn..." I fumble, darting my eyes from the box to him. Quickly and without hesitation, I place the box on the ground and crawl over to tackle him into a hug. I never knew he paid so much attention to me at the aquarium as I read all the signs.
"Zayn, tu és o meu irmão. Eu amo te. Obrigado."
"Welcome, Harry. Também amo te."
I pull back from the hug, my sinuses tingling but I refuse to cry. I'm a man now. Joseph says men don't cry.
Settling back beside my mum, she hands me an envelope. Her gift to me. "Feliz natal, Harry." She presses a kiss to my cheek as I open the envelope and inside I find two tickets. Two tickets to Algarve Zoomarine. Two tickets to swim with the dolphins.
I immediately gasp and stand up, my eyes glued to the tickets in my hands. These very expensive tickets. Too expensive. I'm not worth these. She could have used this money towards groceries or our electricity bill. Something useful. This is way too much.
"Mum....no...." I shake my head, eyes glazed over with tears as my heart thumps in my chest. "These are too expensive, no, no, no! W-We can get the money back! I can save up f-for these myself and—"
"No, it's okay amorzinho." My mum rushes to stand and cups my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. "You've been wanting this for years now, baby. I saved up for you and Zayn. We'll take a trip down on my day off. I made it work, querido. Let me do this for you and Zayn. You've been so good to me, so let me spoil my boys, okay? Eu amo te."
Her words hit me right in the heart. I can't believe she did this for me. For Zayn. For us.
My lips wobble as I realize what this means. I get to play with dolphins. I can pet them and swim with them and hear their funny chatter as I swim in the water right beside them. I can feed them and play with them and have Zayn by my side as we do so with my mum watching us and taking pictures. I get to play with dolphins.
I push Joseph's voice to the back of my head and I begin to cry. My shoulders shake as I drop the tickets onto the ground and cover my face with my hands. I never thought I'd be able to interact with fish like this, I've always assumed I'd be separated from them by a glass wall.
Now I get to touch a dolphin and play with them. I get to touch one of the very things that saved me.
"Oh, meu amor," mum sighs, pulling me into her chest as I sob. My hands fist her tattered shirt as I soak it with my tears, my entire body trembling. I love her so much. "Eu amo te, eu amo te, eu amo te." I chant into her chest. Her fingers scratch my scalp. "Também amo te."
I let myself seek comfort from her embrace, wondering how I got so lucky to have the best mum in the world.
"D-Dolphins. I get to p-play with dolphins," I murmur in awe. I pull my head up off of her chest and she's quick to cup my cheeks, wiping them dry as she bends down to press her forehead against my own. "You do. You and Zayn. You deserve so much more than what I've been able to give you both, but I hope this brings you so much joy and happiness, amorzinho."
With a ball lodged in my throat, all I can do is nod and smile before wrapping my arms around her waist again in a tight hug. I hear Zayn come over as well and mum pulls him into the hug too. "Thank you," he whispers to her.
This already feels like the best Christmas ever and I'm not sure anything will ever top it. I have everything I've ever needed, a mum that's the most incredible person ever and I finally have a best friend. Someone that's my other half. Someone I never want to lose.
I thought I didn't really care for the holidays, but truthfully maybe I just never understood the real meaning behind them. It's not about the gifts or the luxuries, it's all about being surrounded by the people you love, the people you care for and I never want to experience another holiday that doesn't have those things present.
Never one without my mum or Zayn. My small but perfect family.
I wake up with a start, sweating like a fucking pig and gasping for air.
For a second, I forget where I am but the throbbing in my lower back reminds me that I'm on the couch. A wet tongue to my hand is yet another reminder that I'm in my living room with Reef who's been by my side all night.
Fuck, what a memory to dream of.
This always happens around Christmas though, I always dream about mum and how special she made the holidays for Zayn and I. I'd do anything to go back in time and relive it just once more.
Everything about the dream reminds me of how much I've lost. For a moment I feel like I was back there again, a child, surrounded by the feeling of home and comfort but I know it's too good to be true. Things will never be like that again. Things will never be the same.
A few months past Christmas when mum took Zayn and I to Algarve Zoomarine, that was one of the best days of my life. We were all so excited the whole trip down there, I remember I couldn't stop rhyming off dolphin facts to mum and Zayn.
I'll never forget the moment I touched one for the very first time. My breath hitched in my throat and my hand shook as I felt the dolphin's silky smooth skin underneath my hand. She had a name which I can't remember but it didn't matter anyways because I named her Ana in my head. It suited her.
She was so happy in the water with Zayn and I, making her clicking noises and rolling around with us. We couldn't wipe the smile off our faces and neither could mum. I didn't want to leave Ana, I wanted to stay there with her. Forever if I could.
I remember when the instructor gave Ana a command and she swam over and kissed our cheeks. Zayn went beat red. I had so much fucking fun just standing in the water and watching her do her own thing, swimming and jumping as she pleased, eating her treats and making her silly noises.
By the time Zayn and I said goodbye to her I was crying and so was mum. My tears were happy and sad, and so were mum's. She ended up buying some of the professional photos that were taken of Zayn and I even though I knew that meant we'd have no hot water for a few days. She could tell I wanted to argue with her over it but she was quick to shush me. "Let me do this for my boys, okay?"
I wish I still had those pictures. I lost them when we fled from Portugal.
Now, parts of that day are just a memory, one that I visit from time to time in my dreams. If I could do anything to go back to that day I would. Just one quick second to relive it. That's all I need. One more pinch on the cheek, one more "amorzinho" falling from her lips, one more hug. Just one more. That's all.
The clock above the fireplace reads 3:33 in the morning and even from out here I can hear Zayn's snores coming from my bedroom. At least one of us is getting a peaceful sleep.
With a groan, I swing my legs off the couch and reach down to pet Reef who's now wide awake and staring up at me with those big puppy dog eyes of his. He's getting bigger every single day and I fucking hate it. I wish he'd stay small forever.
"Hey Reefy boy." I faintly smile down at him before grabbing my phone off the table, ignoring the text from Maeve and especially ignoring the pang in my chest at the sight of no notifications from anyone else.
I don't know what I was expecting, what I was hoping for.
Pushing that feeling away, I shove my phone into my pocket and walk over to my wall tank. Standing here for a few minutes, I watch my fish lazily swim around. Some are asleep, some are awake, but all of them are happy. I keep them happy.
I press my palm against the glass for a second before I pull it back, admiring my fish one last time before turning around and heading into my bedroom, sitting down on the bed beside a sleeping Zayn.
It's been a few days and his shoulder looks better now. Mum would have been freaking out if she were here. When one of us was sick, in her eyes it was like the world was ending. She'd stop whatever was going on and immediately take care of us, locking us in our room and keeping us bed ridden until we were all better after inhaling her countless soups and remedies. I miss being cared for like that.
It's been a long time since someone has loved me the way my mum did but I don't think anyone could live up to her, I've never felt as safe with anyone as I did with her. She always made sure we were given everything, if she could she would have put the whole world on a plate and handed it to us. That's how selfless she was. She was an angel. A fucking beautiful selfless angel.
Ever since we lost her, Zayn especially has tried to make the most out of the Christmas holidays. We still celebrate it on the 24th and we attempt to make Sonhos and Bolo Rei every year but something is always missing. That something being mum.
Christmas is just over a week away and I'm both dreading it and excited at the same time. It's a good excuse to spend the day locked away with Zayn and Reef and my fish. We give each other a present or two and then spend the rest of the day eating desserts and hanging out, just like when we were kids.
It's our small tradition.
I don't know what Indigo has planned, we never spoke about it. A part of me wants to ask her and know if she does anything alone or with Jesse but the other part of me tells me that I shouldn't care what she's doing.
At least I know she isn't spending it with her witch of a mother. Christ, Zayn told me he only caught a snippet of what was being said between the two of them but it was enough to make my blood boil. I couldn't fathom my mum speaking to me like that. That's not what a mother does to their own child. No one deserves that kind of treatment, especially her.
Looking down at Zayn, I couldn't imagine my mother ever treating him like that. She always made sure that he felt welcome, included, a part of the family – which he was. He's my best friend and my person. Such an important part of my childhood. He's everything to me and seeing him injured like this is painful. I'd rather take the bullets myself than sit here helpless. I'm just glad Indigo was there because she did what I couldn't do. She fixed him.
"Eu amo te, Zayn."
With a deep sigh, I lay beside Zayn on top of the covers looking up at my mirrored ceiling, seeing myself staring back at me. Covering every inch of my bedroom ceiling in one giant mirror was one of the best fucking things I've ever done.
I remember the day Zayn first visited after I had done it. He walked in and the shock on his face was something worth remembering. He turned around to face me, pointing his thumb back behind him and all he said was, "What the fuck?" I got fucking teased about it for days until he finally realized just how cool it actually was.
There's just something about being able to watch yourself or your partner from a different angle, seeing the way they fall apart on your cock or by the flick of your tongue. Watching yourself get fucked through a mirror....taking note of the way your muscles tense then relax....watching the sweat drip down your body...it's a fucking sight.
I've spent countless nights watching myself fuck my fist, thinking about dragging Indigo in here. I just know she'd love it. I can already picture her straddling me, hand wrapped around my throat as she forces me to watch her through the mirror. She gets off on the power I let her have.
"You like that, hm? Such a good boy for me, Harry," she'd whisper as she bounced over my cock, her eyes flicking up to watch us in the mirror. I just know she'd angle herself in a way that we could both watch my cock disappear inside of her. Leaning back with her hands on my thighs, eyes on the mirror, commenting about how fucking good we look. Filthy fucking girl.
I could spend hours with her here, spreading her open on the bed and making her watch me through the mirror – watching herself fall apart because of me, seeing what I do to her. My tongue, my hands, my cock, I'd use them all to make her crumble on my bed. Forcing her to keep her eyes open and glued to the ceiling.
Zayn suddenly stirs beside me and has me clearing my throat, adjusting myself in my sweats. Jesus fucking Christ. How the fuck did I go from thinking about Christmas to this?
"Stop thinking about Indy and get me some fucking water," Zayn says with a smirk, his voice rough. I scoff and shove his head before doing as he says, grabbing the cup from the nightstand and bringing it to his mouth. "Fuck off."
He takes a few sips before I put the cup away and he cocks his brow. "You mean to tell me your dick is hard 'cause you were thinking about me?" I dip my hand into the water and flick some onto his face. "You're fuckin' lucky you're injured."
My phone chimes in my pocket and I pull it out, laying back down beside Zayn who watches me open my phone. His head rests against my shoulder as he reads the message with me, my lips curling at the corner the more I read.
Peach: You're probably asleep but do you and Zayn want to come over for dinner on Christmas Eve? Jesse and I wouldn't mind setting two extra plates as long as you two behave yourselves. Let me know (:
Her text makes a smile threaten to break through my lips but I keep it to myself knowing that Zayn's just going to find something else to tease me about. I stay staring at the phone, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard before Zayn speaks up.
"We're going," he whispers. I turn my head to give him a look. "You sure? Jesse's fuckin' annoying."
"No he's not." His defensiveness takes me aback for a moment. "Yes he is. He's a little shit. Worse than your seahorses."
"Fuck off Harry, I've met him too. I like him."
"Well, I don't."
"You just don't like that he's close with Indy."
I scoff. "That's not why."
He stares at me, raising his eyebrows at me as I glare at him. "It's not."
"Think about it, if you go you can be your crazy possessive self and keep watch or some shit. I'll keep Jesse occupied so you can have pretty little Indigo all to yourself."
My jaw clenches at him calling her pretty. Fuck.
Silence.
I kinda really want to see Indigo and I'll suffer one night around Jesse for it if I have to. She's worth it.
"Fine." I spit out.
Harry: We'll come. We expect a gourmet meal, Blue, or you're fired.
I don't even get the chance to lock my phone before she responds.
Peach: Did I forget to mention that we're having a seafood platter courtesy of your little fish friends at Shark Bait? Whoops, my bad.
I crack a grin at her smartass reply and Zayn chuckles beside me.
Harry: Fuck off.
Peach: Whatever you say, Boss.
"Kinky," Zayn comments. I punch his good shoulder.
Staring at our short conversation, excitement runs through my body thinking about this dinner. Zayn and I will still keep our tradition of our less than appetizing attempts at Bolo Rei and Sonhos, and we'll still do our gift exchange before going to Indigo's place but it feels like for the first time in forever, things are changing in a way so different from what life has been like for both Zayn and I.
And for the first time in a long time, I don't know if I should be scared or not.
Author's Note: Here's a little sweet chapter about Zayn and Harry!!! A little insight into their past too....poor babies :(
We hope you enjoyed it, see you next week for the Christmas chapter! Love you guys <3
A & S