Kody's POV
"Kody, baby, we're going to be late." Dick says as he knocks on the door.
I shift my attention from my stomach, rub the water from my eyes, and look to Dick while nodding.
"Coming." I say just loud enough to be heard over the drone of the shower.
Through the glass and haze of water, I see Dick nod then retreat from the bathroom.
I lower my head again and run a soapy wash cloth over my stomach. It's still early. Physically, I look no different. But emotionally, I'm far from the person I was a few weeks ago. The person I spent six years learning to be.
I step out of the shower, rubbing my towel up and down my arms before wrapping it around myself and heading for the bedroom.
Dick gives a small smile as I walk past him into the closet. I hear his footsteps soon after I enter, and his arm wraps tightly around me as I rummage through a wardrobe.
He presses a gentle kiss to the back of my head, watching over me as I find my outfit for the day.
I can feel his stare, weighted yet gentle, fixed yet distant. Dick is hardly the same person he was a few weeks ago. With Barbara being shot, then the news of her paralysis, followed by the beginning of her medications and therapies, Dick's taken every hit, suffered each heartbreak with her. All of them forcing him to watch me closer, never let me get further than a few feet away. He's more insecure than he's been since he was a child.
Dick releases me long enough to let me change, and then I'm right back in his grasp as he leads me out the door towards the garage.
The ride is silent. Neither of us talks. I miss that. The idle chit chat that used to dominate our car rides when we were dating...when we were free. Before marriage and babies, when walking away felt like an option we would never take and hurting each other was something we nearly killed ourselves trying not to do. Now, I feel like we walk away in some sense almost everyday, hurting one another more than we dare realize.
"What do you think it is?" I bite my lip in questioning.
"Huh?" Dick responds. He wasn't paying attention.
"The baby. What do you think it is?" I ask again.
"Oh...um, I don't care just as long as they're healthy." He responds with a shrug.
"That's not what I asked." I retort.
"Does it matter what I want?" He huffs, irritation making its way into his voice and demeanor.
"Do you want a baby?" I snap. My mouth moving faster than my mind.
Instantly, I want to take it back, apologize to Dick for doubting something he's been so confident in for many years, but I notice his inability to answer. He gapes a couple times before releasing a breath through his nose and shaking his head. He focuses back on the road, tuning me out.
I should be angry, furious. I don't want a baby. I never have. I told him that countless times, halted all conversation pertaining to children, gave him multiple outs if children were going to be a dealbreaker in our relationship, yet here I am pregnant and terrified just so that I can bring him some joy, repay him for everything he's done. And now he doesn't even know if he wants to be a father anymore.
But for every ounce of angry I should be feeling, I instead feel heart ache. For Dick and for me. Dick certainly isn't the same man he was a few weeks ago. I'm not even sure he's the same man I fell in love with.
—————Time Skip—————
"And what about morning sickness? Hm, any of that?" Dr. Leslie walks from one end of the room to the other while asking me questions on my health.
I look up from the clipboard of paperwork I've been filling out. "No, just increased sensitivity to smells." I answer.
Dr. Leslie smiles as she finally sits down on the stool beside me. She takes the clipboard gently from my hands, the corners of her eyes wrinkling as her smile grows. I would usually scowl at such a thing, but her smile is nothing but comforting. It fills me with some positive feeling that has become foreign over the past weeks. I see why Lucy likes her so much.
"Alright, lay back for me." She instructs as she finishes preparing her equipment.
Dick smiles as we make eye contact. He presses a light kiss to my temple, helping me roll my shirt up to lay under my breasts.
I flinch and let out a soft hiss as Dr. Leslie squirts the gel on my stomach, then uses the wand to my skin. My lips purse as the gel spreads and my insides are put on display.
"Now, where are you, little one?" Dr. Leslie muses as she leans into the screen.
My heart raced as the seconds stretch into minutes, but suddenly Dr. Leslie's face illuminates and her hand stills.
"There you are!" She exclaims. She looks at Dick and I with brilliant eyes before pointing to the monitor. "That right there is your baby."
Dick leans over me while I turn my head and focus on the screen. I stop breathing as soon as my eyes lock on the tiny dot that is my child. I can feel my lungs burning in protest but the mixture of awe and fright are too paralyzing.
My breathing returns as the fast pulse of a heartbeat sounds. I breathe in shakily, feeling the air rattle in my chest.
I hear a sniffle beside me and turn to see Dick with water pooling at the edges of his eyes. There really is no turning back now. I look back at the screen, my ears adjusting to the thrum of a heartbeat.
"Incredible." Dick whispers, yet it's the most emotion he's spoken with in weeks.
Tears are in my eyes suddenly, and I have to take deep, hard breathes to keep myself from barreling out of the room.
"Amazing, right?" Dr. Leslie asks as she notices me.
I nod as I release a breath through pinched lips, stifling the anxiety that threatens to drown me. Dick kisses me, taking me by surprise and making me panic harder.
"Thank you. Thank you so much." He breathes against my skin, and I tremble under the weight of his words.
————Time Skip————
"How'd it go?" Selina asks as we enter the dining room.
She sets down her fork, wiping her mouth for remnants of cake.
Dick is beside her instantly, showing off the sonogram picture.
"Oh my god, look at that." She gushes, and I instantly see her cuddled up on the couch, cradling my son or daughter to her chest, absolutely enamored as any grandparent would be. I can't even see myself there.
"And they're developing well?" Bruce questions.
"Perfectly." Dick smiles as he walks down the line of family members showing off the picture as if it's show and tell.
I hang back near the entrance, absolutely unnoticed and grateful for it. It's not until Dick takes his normal seat that he finally looks to me. He motions for me to join him, and I hesitantly take my place at the table.
"Kody, how do you feel?" Steph asks.
I can't say anything, so all I do is nod. Dick grabs my hand, smiling wide and kisses my knuckles. I give him a wry smile, not daring to open my mouth because I'm afraid of what might come out.
Dick turns back to the table, his smile still a mile wide before it drops suddenly. He looks around again before standing. Everyone looks to him. He walks silently and dutifully from the room, leaving the rest of us in a confused silence.
Moments pass with lack of comments before a soft, tired voice is heard down the hall. Alfred emerges from another entrance with a small platter in his hands. He sets it down just as Dick enters, half dragging, half carrying his protesting sister-in-law.
"Dick, please. I told you, I ate something." Lucy argues as Dick pushes her into her seat.
The rest of the family begins to retreat from the room, leaving Dick to fight this battle he's picked, but I remain behind.
Dick reaches across the table, grabbing the platter and removing it's lid to reveal a sandwich and a cup of soup.
"Dick." Lucy snaps, but it's as if he doesn't hear her.
I realize what he's doing. It's something all of us should have tried to do weeks ago, but we were too worried about rebuilding ourselves rather than trying to rebuild each other.
Lucy had taken Barbara's shooting and consequently effects harder than even Dick. She's been moving in a near unconscious state for the last weeks, not working the monitor, eating the bare minimum, not emerging from her room unless completely necessary. It didn't help that Jason had taken off with the first lead he got.
"Eat." Dick commands. "If not for yourself, or her, or Jason, then for me."
Lucy turns to glare at him, but her face melts when she looks into his eyes. She looks conflicted for several seconds before giving in a grabbing the sandwich. She takes one bite then another before suddenly finishing the first half and moving onto the second.
I watch them quietly as Dick gets Lucy talking and eventually laughing. They laugh over small, insignificant things before Dick has her fawning over the sonogram picture. I notice Lucy casually rub her stomach every so often.
As the two of them repair what they lost, I begin to fall apart. Lucy is the type of wife Dick needed, the one he deserves. I can't help but feel that in some alternate time line the two of them are happily married with many kids.
"I'm a little tired." I speak, interrupting them.
Dick nods while Lucy take another bite of sandwich.
"Get some sleep, babe. I'll be up in a minute." He responds.
I nod, then leave, dragging the growing insignificance with me.
—————————————
I...well, you see...what had happened was...you know what, I'm not even going to try and explain myself.
Hey Everyone! How ya'll doing? Missed me? Probably not😗 Let me first start by apologizing profusely for this incredibly late update. I've never been this terrible before. However, between school and a terrible stroke of writer's block (which I'm unfortunately still suffering from) writing has been extremely hard. I'm really hoping the next update does not take this long, feel free to annoy me in any way possible if it does. As always I thank you all for your love, patience, and support. Please know that every comment, vote, message, etc. is appreciated and does not go unnoticed. I enjoy more than anything hearing from you all and being able to be a part of your reactions. It really does fill me with joy.
Until next time