I hung out with Benny for most of the day. He told me lots of stories about our past and things we did, how we met and our first kiss and everything. It was nice listening to it all, it seemed like we were so happy together. It pained me that I wasn't able to remember it.
"Benny?" I asked him.
"Yeah?"
"Why don't I remember yet?"
"You will, it will just take time" He said.
I lived with Benny for weeks, my memory made no return but I started getting used to living like this. I slept in the bedroom while Benny slept on the air bed. And every morning he would make me breakfast and give me little kisses on my cheek. We spent a lot of time together, we went out, we would have nice meals he even tried to teach me chess. Of course I was terrible at it but at least he tried.
One morning I woke up and Benny brought me my usual medication before wandering into the kitchen to make breakfast. I was about to take my pill when I noticed a little bottle on Benny's bedside table. I picked it up and opened it to see it was the same pills as he gave me every morning. I looked a labels on the bottle, and on the prescription I was expecting my name, but instead it had his.
Why would my medication have his name on it?
I examined it more but it had no other information about it. Suspicious, I put my pill back in the bottle and headed into the kitchen to get my breakfast.
"Benny?" I asked.
"Yes darling?" He answered, his eyes attached to his board.
"Um I have a question about my meds"
He looked at me before looking back down and moving a peice.
"What about it?"
"What is it for?"
"It helps you get your memory back"
"Well, I don't think it's working"
"look love" He looked up at me " It can take a very long time to get it back, weeks, months sometimes years, but it doesn't matter how long it will take because I'm here for you and that isn't gonna change"
Benny was at his chess board majority of the day so I just sat around reading some of the books he had lying about. Night time came around quickly so I got into bed and fell asleep.
The next morning, when Benny gave me my medication, I looked at it in my hand and rolled it in my palm. It seemed a little weird, I mean I had to at least be able to remember something by now. I put the pill in my draw and drank the water. This went on for a while, I hid the pills, pretending I had taken them and got on with my day. My thoughts were, what was the point of taking them if they weren't working?Benny didn't need to know I wasn't taking them, it wasn't a big deal.
I woke up one morning and went to make myself a cup of coffie, when I picked up a cup, I had a funny feeling. Like it had happened before. Then something came to my mind, it was familiar. Then it clicked.
"Benny" I turned around.
"Yes baby?"
"Was I born in Y/bp"
He looked up at me with shock in his face.
"How do you remember that?"
"I don't know" I giggled "it just came to me, Benny it's working! My memory is coming back!"
He got up from his chair and hugged me tightly.
"That's good baby that's good" He released me then looked me in my eyes " You have been taking your medication haven't you?"
I was a little taken back by his question, I haven't. But my memory is coming back so that must mean I don't need it. But I didn't want to tell him I wasn't, I didn't want him to get worried.
"Yeah, of course"
He looked at me as though he didn't belive me, a little bit of doubt in his eyes.
"Make me a coffie if your making one too will you love?" He smiled before going back to his chess.
After the long day, I got ready for bed, cuddling up into the soft covers.
Benny walked in with a glass of water and asked me to sit up.
"Here" he handed me a pill.
"I thought I only took them at morning?"
"Yeah, well, I had a call with your doctor and they said you can up the dosage to two every day, it will speed up the process"
I took the pill from his hand and waited for him to leave like he usually does, but he didn't. He stayed, like he was waiting to watch me swallow it. I felt really weird, like there was something going on that he wasn't telling me.
I put the pill in my mouth, but pushed it underneath my tongue. I swallowed some water then laid down to go to sleep. When He left the room, I took the pill out my mouth and put it in my draw. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. So I hopped out of bed and wandered into the living room.
"Benny" I said.
He sat up in the air bed, his hair ruffled.
"Yeah?"
"I can't sleep"
"Do you want a drink or something?"
"No, I, um could you sleep with me please?"
"Are you sure you're ready for that?"
"Yeah, I just, don't want to be alone"
"Ok love"
He got into the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling into my neck. I turned around to face him making him open his eyes.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, I just, I want to remember"
"I told you it's gonna take a while"
"Benny, I don't know if I can wait until I remember I just want to... I can't take it"
I leaned towards taking him into a long slow kiss. He didn't object and kissed back, pushing me over on the bed so he was on top. I started unbottoning his short which made him stop and look at me.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
I nodded, and he kissed me again, taking off my clothes at a quick pace. He slipped into me and started thrusting slowly, increasing his speed every so often. I buried my head into the crook of his neck, my hands ravelled in his hair. I tried my best not to make much noise but a few moans managed to escape my mouth.
I felt a bubbling sensation in my stomach as I got closer. We both finished pretty fast, collapsing on the bed in a heated mess.
"I love you" He said panting.
I stopped for a second thinking about what he just said.
"I love you too"
I could feel his smile as he kissed my shoulder and cuddled up behind me. I fell asleep in no time, wrapped in his arms.
"Will you fucking stop it!"I screamed at him pushing him away from me.
"Come on Y/n! Stop denying your feelings for me and just let me be with you!"
"Benny for the last time I don't have feelings for you I just want you to leave me the fuck alone!"
I went to leave when he grabbed my wrist pushing me Into a wall.
"I need you!" He screamed " I need you so bad, I love you and I want you and I know you do too!"
"I don't!"
"You will"
He pulled me fowards then slammed me hard into the wall, hitting my head...
I jumped up in the bed in shock, sweat dripping from my forehead and my chest rising and falling at an incredible space. I looked beside me to see the bed was empty, Benny was making breakfast in the kitchen.
That wasn't a dream. It was a memory. They all flooded back to me in my sleep. I remembered everything.
Benny wasn't my boyfriend.
He was my stalker.
I had to stop myself from crying otherwise it would it would alert him I was awake. Shaking, I silently crept out of the bed and to the doorway, standing there.
Morning dar..."
He turned around and his smile quickly faded when he saw my state.
"Y/n what's wrong?" He asked.
I stood there, shaking, tears threatening to fall.
"I remember" I said.
The blood drained from his face, making him turn a very pale shade of white. He clenched his fists tightly making his veins pop out from his skin.
"You're not my boyfriend Benny, you liar!" I screamed at him " You're a fucking psychopath! You're a stalker!"
"I love you!" He screamed back " And you know you do too!"
"You smashed my head against a wall and gave me amnesia so that you could have me to yourself! You gave me drugs so that my memory wouldn't return and would continue to live with you! You made me feel safe with you, I even slept with you because I didn't know any better! That's manipulation and abduction Benny!"
"I GAVE YOU A GOOD LIFE!" he bellowed "YOU WERE HAPPY WITH ME!"
"BECAUSE I COULDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING! I TRUSTED YOU BUT YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DID IT TOO ME! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!"
he marched fowards, taking a tight hold on my throat and pushing me violently into the wall.
"I need you" he said " and you need me"
"I-hate-you" I spat, my airways closed up so I struggled to talk.
He looked me up and down, and clenched his jaw before throwing me to the ground. I sobbed on the floor, unable to hold it in anymore.
"Fine then, get out" he said.
"What?"
"If you hate me so much, then leave"
I looked at him surprised. This man, that had stalked me for months, that had purposefully wiped my memory and kidnapped me just so he could be with me, was letting me go?
But the real question is, did I really want to leave him?