I don't want to lie, I felt conflicted guys. Was she being genuine or not? I wanted to trust that she was but I remembered that time when she betrayed me when we went to the mall, and she and Andy ganged up on me. Yes, we were friends and we've been friends for years but I always felt like Fiona liked Andy more than me, and she followed every whim of Andy's. She was easily manipulated. How is it to say that now she wasn't sent by Andy to trick me again? But even so, Fiona has actually been a good friend in the past to me, her personality was way better than Andy's. I groaned not knowing what to do. I decided to take a shower whilst thinking over the whole text message from her. After the shower, I was still feeling conflicted but I had decided that I wouldn't call her back. I just couldn't trust her anymore. After tossing and turning in bed, I finally fell asleep. I missed my giant.
It was the next day. I was getting ready to go visit Phozisa. She had invited me to have lunch with her. I had called George and he told me that he was already downstairs, so if I was ready to go, I should just come down. Was I the only one who found the whole George situation weird and suspicious? He was always available when I needed him. I mean, he's a cab driver, so shouldn't he be busy driving people up and down, but that wasn't the case because whenever I called him he was available and always nearby. Sometimes he was there even before I called him, like today. I finished getting ready and I went downstairs. I greeted George when I entered the car. He just gave me a chin lift through the rearview mirror and drove off. When I arrived at Xolile's place, Philasande was there too. Phila was T-man's girlfriend. I've never really interacted with her since I avoided everything that had to with the girlfriends of the giant's friends since they didn't like me and I was afraid of confrontation, and also because she always kept to herself. Every time I've seen her, she's always stuck by Temba's side and never interacted with anyone. I didn't know if she was scared of the other women as me or she was one of those who looked down on others. I couldn't read her. But since Temba was super nice and cool, I hoped she wasn't as bad as the others.
Phozisa: "Hey, I hope you don't mind that I invited her." She had pulled me aside to the kitchen... "she's also on the same boat as us. She's worried and misses her man."
Me: "No, its fine. Hopefully she's not one of those who hate me." I said cringing. Phozisa chuckled.
Phozisa: "No, she doesn't involve herself in the drama and politics with the other women. Even though she's quiet and keeps to herself, she's nice, you'll see." I sighed and nodded. I really hoped that was the case. When I was in High School, I used to ask and wonder, what was about me that was so unlikable and detestable that no one wanted to be my friend? I mean if they weren't teasing and bullying me, they ignored me completely. I couldn't really blame them, because my mother didn't seem to like me that much too...that still applies even today. You guys know everything. When I had made friends with Fiona and Andy I was so happy because it gave me little hope that I wasn't as unlikable and broken as I thought I was. So to keep them as my friends, I did a lot of things that would be pleasing to them since I didn't want to lose them as friends. Even if they said or did stuff to me that I wasn't agreeable with or disliked, I kept quiet and smiled because I didn't want to have conflict with them. I didn't want them to stop being my friends. Yes, pathetic I know, but try being me for once. It's not easy. As you know, I have attachment issues. If I form a relationship with a person I cling to it and do everything in my power for the relationship not to break because I was scared of being alone. I had been alone almost my whole childhood and it hadn't been nice people. When I met the giant, he gave me a voice, even though it wasn't that much of a voice but it was something. That's why I found myself disagreeing and arguing with my friends when they did or said stuff to me that I didn't like, and that was one of the reasons I was having a fallout with them since they didn't know the Busi I was becoming. Even though I was still practically the same person, I could feel the change in myself. There was something about the giant's love that just gave me confidence. I really wished badly that I was like him, just minus the rudeness. He didn't give a fuck about what people said about him, and if you didn't add value to his life he cut you off. He never sugarcoated anything, he told you what was what, and if you didn't like it, that was your problem. Oh my giant! I really missed him. I really hoped he was coming back tomorrow unscathed. Please God, bring back my man safely home. Anyway I kind of understood why the women, who were the girlfriends of the giant's friends, hated me. It's because I situated a place that they believed belonged to their friend, and also it didn't help that the giant was cruel and rude to them in the past, all because of me. And also they resented me since most of the women were cut off and replaced my others since that 'meet and greet party' when they tried to break up the giant and I by bringing his ex – technically she wasn't his ex – to sabotage the party.
We were now sitting in the dining room eating. The food that Phozisa had cooked was really delicious people.
Philasande: "So I heard that you and Zanoxolo are getting married soon." She said softly. I nodded... "how are the wedding plans coming along?" Every time I thought about the wedding, I just got a headache. They said, a woman looks forward to planning her wedding but that wasn't the case for me because I wasn't planning it. I groaned in misery, annoyance and frustration. They laughed... "and then? Is it that bad?" Phozisa filled her in. Philasande looked at me with pity in her eyes... "yeah, I would also be like you. I struggle to speak up sometimes so to keep peace I keep quiet, even my teddy hates it." Aww, how sweet and cute that she refers to Temba as 'my teddy'. I smiled.
Me: "We're the same in that case then, because when I don't speak up for myself, it irritates and frustrates the hell out of Zano."
Phozisa: "You're both are too sweet. I wouldn't let anyone tell me how to plan my wedding. Yes, they can suggest and advice but not take over."
Me: "They're both his mothers. What can I do? Xolile's mother is better but Diana is just too much."
Phozisa: "I love and respect Xolile's mother but I wouldn't let her take over the planning of my wedding."
Philasande: "You're an outspoken person by nature so it would be easy for you not to let her take over." I nodded agreeing... "the only person I can stand up to is Teddy." She said smiling shyly. We all giggled. We were really alike because I also can stand up to the giant...sometimes...but the point is I wasn't afraid to speak out to him.
Phozisa: "Yeah. I always say you're different when you with Temba. You're fierce." Philasande rolled her eyes.
Philasande: "He frustrates and annoys me so much guys, you have no idea."
Me: "The giant frustrates and annoys me too. Sometimes I feel like pulling out my hair."
Philasande: "The giant?" She laughed and Phozisa joined in.
Phozisa: "Can you believe that she calls him that to his face?" Philasande's eyes widened.
Philasande: "Really?" I rolled my eyes.
Me: "Only because he won't stop calling me 'woman'."
Philasande: "But still. I can't believe you call him that. I'm sorry but I'm really terrified of your man. I make sure that I'm not in the same room as him if Teddy is not there."
Phozisa: "I'm also terrified of him. I avoid any eye contact with him because I feel like he would kill me just for looking at him." I laughed. Oh my gosh!They were exaggerating. Right? I mean the giant wasn't that bad people.
Me: "He's not that terrifying...okay well...sometimes...but he's not as you say." They both snorted.
Phozisa: "He's your man so of course you would say that." Philasande nodded.
Philasande: "When you first met him, how did you feel?" My eyes widened remembering that day.
Me: "Terrified."
Philasande: "You see?!" I laughed. Okay I saw their point... "I remember when Temba had first introduced me to him. I wanted to pee myself."
Phozisa: "Me too!" We all laughed.
Philasande: "The way he was glaring at me, I will never forget it."
Phozisa: "That glare is cold and hard. I have nightmares about it sometimes." No ways.
Me: "You guys are over exaggerating now. He's a softie on the inside actually." They burst out laughing.
Philasande: "I used to be so scared when my teddy would tease him and the only thing on your man's face would be death. When we would get home, I would tell Teddy to stop with his teasing because I was really afraid that Zanoxolo would end up killing him."
Phozisa: "Me too. I would say the same to Xolile but he would just laugh at me like what I just said to him was ridiculous." Philasande nodded in agreement.
Philasande: "But as time went by I could see that he really loved his friends. He would literally die for them." She told me... "Temba always tells me how Zanoxolo protects each one of them when they go on missions. He never leaves any of them behind." Oh my gosh! My giant!
Phozisa: "Yeah. That's why they all love and respect him. They follow his every word because they know he wouldn't lead them astray." If my giant risked his life for them, who would do the same for him? I've seen how he is with his friends. He really does love them. And I can also see that the love and respect they have for him....and most importantly...the amount of trust they put in him is huge. They're all a tight knit which is hard to find nowadays.
I was back home now. I just came back from my shift. I was now watching a movie whilst eating popcorns. I was trying to distract myself and not think about how the was empty and lonely the apartment was without the giant. I really really hoped he was coming back tomorrow. The lunch I had with Phozisa and Philasande had been a whole lot better than I had expected it to be. I liked Philasande a lot, maybe because our personalities were very similar. Before we separated, we had exchanged numbers. My phone rang, it was my mother. I groaned and huffed, and I muted the call. I just couldn't deal with my mother tonight. Nope. Not doing it. In the end, I received 20 missed calls from her. Can you guys believe it? I wasn't surprised because that's how my mother was like. She was a diehard when calling someone. I wasn't going to feel guilty about ignoring her calls. I just wanted peace and quiet tonight and my mother's phone calls never brought any peace. After the movie, I went to bed and did the usual. I tossed and turned until I fell asleep.
It was the next day. I was at work. I had been antsy the whole day today. I kept checking my phone and everything. My man needed to come back home today or I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. I had woken up in the early hours of the morning today. I cleaned the whole apartment and refolded our laundry just to distract myself by keeping busy. My mother had called again, but I muted her calls again. I'm sure she was beside herself with anger. I'm sure she was calling me with every curse word she could think of. You guys know my mother. I just didn't have time for her and her drama. I knew that eventually I would have to pick up her calls but I wanted to ice her for now. Don't forget that she abandoned me people! Anyway, I was busy at the front counter handling bills when the giant entered the restaurant. My body went into shock for like a few seconds then I ran to him and jumped him. He caught me of course.
Zanoxolo: "My woman." He growled possessively squeezing me tightly to him. Then I remembered where we were and wiggled myself from him and he let me go reluctantly. I was really red on the face. My cheeks were burning. How could I forget where I was people?! I mean, seriously Busi! I know I know! I couldn't control myself. I looked around and saw everybody's eyes on us. The giant grabbed my hand and pulled me outside the restaurant to a small alley that was beside the restaurant. Even though it was a little dark, I could see his face.
Me: "Zano I have-." He kissed me lifting me up to his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Damn! This kiss was rough and domineering. Yum! I bit his lower lip and he growled deeply and dangerously. My nipples and private part tingled. I bit his lower lip again and the same growl emanated from him.
Zanoxolo: "I fucken can't wait." He growl against my mouth. Suddenly I felt his fingers brushing against my underwear. Yes, I was wearing a dress.
Me: "Zano-." He moved my underwear aside, and then he brushed his thumb on my slit and pinched my clit. I moaned.
Zanoxolo: "Fuck baby, you're already wet. So fucking ready for my cock."
Me: "Zano we can't-."
Zanoxolo: "Yes we can, and we will. No one's going to stop me from filling this pussy with my cock. Not God. Not even you woman." He growled. Oh my gosh! He's crazy! But you like it. Shut up brain!
Me: "But-." He kissed me. Damn him! I heard the unbuckling of his belt and the unzipping of his jeans, and then I felt the hammer against me. Before I could protest, he pushed in. We both groaned at the same time.
Zanoxolo: "Fuck me, I missed this pussy." He muttered gruffly. He slid out and slammed in hard and rough. Oh my gosh! I moved my hips meeting his powerful strokes. I was far too gone to care that I was currently getting fucked in a dark alley. I was also far too gone to care that I was in the middle of my shift and that maybe the people in the restaurant could hear my moans and cries, and the giant's groans and growls. I was sick people! This damn giant was making me as sick as him... "ahh fuck baby I'm close."
Me: "Don't." I growled. Yes. That was me. I surprised even myself. The giant chuckled. He began strumming my clit and pinching it between his fingers. I came screaming my lungs out. Oh my gosh! That orgasm surprised the hell out of me. The giant followed not long after. After I had gotten my breathing in control and I was out of the haze, I started to hit the giant... "how am I going to go back in there you damn giant?"
Zanoxolo: "You're not. You're done for the night." What?
Me: "What? No I'm not. I still have 2 hours left until I finish my shift."
Zanoxolo: "Not anymore you don't. You think I'm done with you? I can't wait 2 hours to be in you again. So we're going home so I can enjoy being in between my woman's soft and warm thighs." I huffed rolling my eyes.
Me: " I miss you when you're gone, but the minute you're back, I regret missing you." He chuckled and nipped my chin... "I still need to get my things inside Zano."
Zanoxolo: "I'll get them for you, baby. Just wait for me in the car." I sighed. There was no point in arguing with him. He pulled out of me, fixed my underwear and put me down on my feet. He buckled and zipped up his jeans. I went to his car whilst he went inside the restaurant to get my things. When I got inside the car, I groaned covering my face. How was I going to face my boss and colleagues tomorrow? I couldn't believe I just had sex in the alley? Who does that? I'm such a slut. It was all the giant's fault. Damn him! He came back with my things a few minutes later and we drove off.
I was with Diana and Xolile's mother. It was the next day. We were at the mansion. We were deciding on the design for the invitations and décor.
Me: "I like this design and color." I said pointing to the design.
Diana: "No Busi. The design is off and the color is too loud."
Me: "But I like it." I said softly. She snorted.
Diana: "Well, trust me, I know best when it comes to these things. It's more about going with what looks good than going with what you like." I don't know why what she said made me so angry but it did.
Me: "Well why do you need me here for if I can't even choose the design and color of the freaking invitations for my own wedding?" I asked raising my voice. Diana's eyes widened.
Diana: "No Busi, don't get me wrong. Philda please tell her how these things work-."
Me: "I don't care. I haven't chosen anything that I liked for this wedding ever since we started planning it. If I have an opinion, you shut me down like you just did now. So I really don't know why you involved me in the first place in the planning of this wedding if you were going to take over like this."
Diana: "That's not true. I haven't taken over-."
Me: "Ever since we started, it's been you you you. Your ideas. Your suggestions. What you like. What you think. The dress. The venue. And now the invitations!" I shouted standing up... "you know what. You guys go ahead and plan for this wedding without me, because I can see I'm not needed." I said walking away...............