I was more mortified than shocked people. I mean, this was the giant. Nothing he did or said shocked me as much as it did in the past. But how could he say all that to his parents? Invite them one minute and disinvite them the next. Just because they didn't give us their blessing. Actually it was Diana who seemed to be against us getting married. Robert and Sophia seemed very happy for us so I could say we had their blessing. James could shove his blessing up his ass. I didn't care for him. Diana was so hurt about what the giant had said, it was written all over her face. It looked like she was about to cry. I felt a little sorry for her, but she knew how the giant was better than me, so she should've expected a response like this from him. Robert on the other hand looked like he was holding in laughter. I hoped for his sake that he didn't laugh out or else Diana would kill him.
Diana: "Zano, how could you say all that?" She asked shakily.
Zano: "I'm sorry if what I said hurt you mother but I meant everything I just said. I'm a grown ass man. I know all about how serious and a huge step marriage is, and how important it is to be sure that you're ready. I know all that shit. I'm not a child and I'm not stupid. I want Busi as my wife and...also...I want her to be the mother of the children we might have. Only her." He cleared his throat taking my hand in his... "don't you understand how big this all is for me?" Understanding dawned on both Robert's and Diana's faces... "you guys know more than anyone else how after everything that happened to me in the past, I never wanted to have a wife. And I sure as hell didn't want any children." Oh my gosh!... "so now, when I come to you and tell you that I'm getting married, you should know how serious and sure I am about all this shit. Because it means I had ready thought long and hard about it."
Diana: "Oh my! I've never heard you speak this long Zano." She said with tears running down her face.
Robert: "I was just about to say the same thing." The giant grunted.
Diana: "I guess we have you to thank for that Busi." So much gratitude for me was reflected on her face.
Me: "I didn't do anything really-."
Robert: "Don't disregard the visible change we see in him. We all know it's because of you. Thank you." Oh my gosh! Talk about added pressure! I really didn't see myself having that much contribution to the giant's change. I failed to convince him to go to therapy didn't I ? But I was glad that they could see the little changes in him. Slowly but surely he was going to get there. We just needed to work on his manners because he had none. It was always a struggle trying to explain to him why what he said or did was considered rude and cruel since he didn't live according to the rules of the society. What you considered as him being rude, he saw it as him being honest and blunt. Basically, he called a spade a spade. To be honest, I really loved this about him. It was refreshing. But I could agree that he could be extra sometimes.
Me: "You don't have to thank me." I finally responded a little uncomfortable.
Zano: "And don't discuss me like I'm not in the room." He growled unhappily. Robert and Diana laughed.
We didn't stay long after that. After we received their blessings, the giant announced that we were leaving. Diana had tried to insist on us staying for lunch but the giant had refused and I was glad. As much as I liked them and all, I didn't want to be in the same room as James any longer. The guy really creeped me out people. I could feel the weight of his eyes the whole time we were there. And I knew that the giant had noticed his brother's attention on me, and that's why I think he insisted on us leaving. I applauded him in being able to control his rage because I could see that he had wanted to rip him into pieces. Diana wanted to be part and parcel in all the wedding planning and preparations. She already had a long list of people she wanted to invite. So I could see that the small and intimate ceremony I wanted to have wasn't a possibility anymore. She suggested that we meet up on Friday to start with the preparations. When she rumbled on about her ideas on venues, dresses and decor, I got a huge headache. So you could say that this was another reason why I was glad that we didn't stay for the late lunch. The woman wanted to hijack my wedding. Imagine! On our way home, we decided to pass by Pick 'n Pay to get a few things since the giant's friends emptied half of our fridge yesterday. I quickly grabbed everything I needed and paid and left. I was really dreading on going to work later on. The giant had tried to get me to stop working at the restaurant but I had stood my ground. I had to hang on the little independence I had. I didn't want to be completely depend on him. I wanted to be able to buy things for myself even if it was underwear. But working was a pain in my ass. Being a waitress was no joke especially where I worked at. It was always busy. The damn giant made a lot of money from that restaurant alone. Sometimes I forgot that he was the owner, and the times that I did remember, it made me feel a bit uneasy. His money made me uneasy, and spending it made me feel worse. I also knew that our wedding preparations expenses would be coming out of his pocket but at least it didn't bother me that much since it was also his wedding. I always felt the weight of the bank card he gave me in my wallet. I still couldn't understand why he would entrust me with his money. I had tried giving it back when I had finished decorating our apartment months ago but it had been a big mistake on my part. He went crazy people. Thing is, he had refused to take the card back so I had sneaked it in his wallet when he was in the shower. I thought the bastard wouldn't notice a thing but I had been wrong...so wrong. He told me that if I tried what I did again, I was going to regret it. I knew the bastard wasn't playing around so I took the card back. I just told myself that I wasn't going to use it but the problem was every-time we went somewhere to buy stuff, the giant would make me pay using the damn card. Sneaky and clever right? I knew that he was trying to get me used to paying with the card so that it would become second nature to me. It had been a solid plan because I was getting used to using the card to pay for everything. Damn giant!
It was the next day. I was on an Uber. I was on my way to my mother's apartment. Stupid right? I know. But I couldn't help but to worry about her since she wasn't picking up any of my phone calls. The giant hadn't been able to take me because he had somewhere to go. He hadn't been happy about me going to face my mother alone since I told him what my mother had said and done the last time. But I insisted that I was going to be fine. I mean, I've been dealing with the way my mother was ever since I was a kid. So I could handle everything she threw my way. My brain snorted at that. I ignored my brain. When the Uber dropped me off, I went in the apartment building. I had to remind myself to knock on the door since I no longer lived with her. I could hear the TV playing inside the apartment meaning that she was home and alive. I knocked on the door and it opened after a short while.
Mother: "What are you doing here?" She asked angrily with her arms folded. I swallowed. I guess she still didn't want to see me. What did I expect? So stupid. She looked fine people. Actually she looked great like she didn't have a breakdown that day. Her hair and makeup were on point and she was wearing one of her best outfits. I looked over her head and I wasn't surprised when I saw a man I didn't know sitting on the couch. I sighed. This was the same old cycle. I had wished that things would be different after she heard about Sandile. I guess not.
Me: "I came to check up on you. I've been trying to call you but you haven't been answering my phone calls."
Mother: "That right there should've given you the hint that I didn't want to talk to you. Go back to that man of yours Busisiwe and leave me the hell alone."
Me: "What about the wedding...and the thing I asked you...about talking to your brothers?" She snorted loudly rolling her eyes.
Mother: "I don't care about your wedding and I definitely want nothing to do with it. If you want to imprison yourself to a man who's probably going to be unfaithful to you, that's your choice, don't involve me. And I won't be talking shit with my brothers. If you want them, you call them yourself. I want nothing to do with my family or with you for that matter. I am sick and tired. I raised you didn't I? So what more do you want from me Busisiwe?"
Me: "Mama..." I cried. She couldn't be saying what I thought she was right? But it looked like she was. She looked away briefly from me.
Mother: "Just go Busisiwe." She said dismissing me and closed the door to my face. Oh my gosh! A sob broke out of me. I don't know how long I stood in front of that door, but I know that I stood for a quite a long while. I couldn't even begin to describe the pain I was in. It was just painful beyond measure. My mother wanted nothing to do with me people. This was her way of disowning me basically. What did I ever do to her to deserve such hate from her? I'm positive that she started hating me even when I was still in her womb. But what I didn't get was why she chose to keep me. I mean, if she didn't want me, why didn't she abort me? I really would've preferred that than her disowning me now. At least if she had aborted me, I wouldn't be in any pain that I was in now. I went home in tears. I was a mess. The Uber driver kept giving me looks in the rear view mirror. I didn't blame him. I'm sure he was wondering what was wrong with me. Because I'm sure nobody cried like I was crying in an Uber. It's embarrassing. But the way I was hurting, I didn't care.
When I got back home, I threw myself on the bed. I was glad that the giant wasn't home. I wanted to be alone. I don't know how long I cried but I did for a long time. I wanted to get all the pain out of my system so that I could feel better. I told myself that this was the last time that I would let my mother hurt me. I have suffered enough because of that woman's negligence, insults and cruelty. I was done people. All I ever wanted was for her to be a real mother to me. I wanted her love and support that a mother gives to her child. But I don't remember ever receiving those things from her. She was the main cause to the insecurities I had about myself. How could a mother disown her only daughter just because she was tired? After I had stopped crying, I got up from bed and went to wash my face in the bathroom. I had to cook supper before I went to work. My face was a mess. My face was blotchy and pink, my eyes were puffy and red. I got out of the bathroom the same time as the giant entered the apartment. Oh shit! I didn't think he would be back this early. Being the way he was, the giant noticed immediately that something was wrong. That I had been crying. His body went all tense and alert like he was preparing for battle or something. This man of mine.
Zano: "Who made you cry woman?" He demanded closing the distance between us. I don't know why, but I started to cry again. The giant lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bedroom. He sat down with me on his lap straddling him... "Busi what the fuck happened? Why are crying?" His voice was hard and tight... "tell me who I need to kill now." He growled.
Me: "Please...just hold me." I begged brokenly. He did what I asked. He enveloped me in his arms tightly. His body was vibrating. I knew it was because of anger. The giant didn't like it when I was hurt and he especially liked it less when I cried.
Zano: "Baby you've got to tell me what happened." He said after a while. After calming myself, I told him everything that happened. To say he was not happy was an understatement. His whole body had gone rigid... "I knew I shouldn't have let you go by yourself to see that woman." He said angrily.
Me: "I don't understand why she hates me so much Zano. What did I ever do to her? How could she just disown me like that?" I asked painfully. He grunted.
Zano: "Don't worry yourself about that baby. She didn't deserve to have a daughter like you anyway. You're better off without her." He told me kissing my forehead.
Me: "She has treated me like I'm nothing ever since I could remember. I never felt like her daughter so why does her disowning me hurt so much?"
Zano: "You loved her, that's why baby."
Me: "Please don't ever leave me Zano. I won't be able to take another person that I love leaving me." I confessed.
Zano: "You won't have to handle anything because I won't ever leave you baby." He vowed. It made the pain in my heart to ease a little... "and don't worry, I will handle the thing with your uncles. Everything will work out baby, you'll see." He said giving me a squeeze.
Me: "I love you." I told him softly.
Zano: "You have my heart too baby." He told me gruffly... "I got you something actually." He said removing his arms around me. I frowned. I loved my man, but he never got me anything before so I was wondering what could this thing be.
Me: "Really? What is it?" I wiped my tears away curious. Instead of answering he took out a small red box out of his jack pocket. I held my breath. Was this what I thought it was? He opened it and I gasped out loud with a new set of tears forming my eyes. These were tears of joy and love. There in the box people sat a ring...a beautiful engagement ring. Oh my gosh! Both my hands were over my mouth shaking. I was afraid to even touch it.
Zano: "My woman wanted a ring so I got her one." He said in that weird way of his... "I was going to give it to you after I fucked your pussy good tonight but since you're all sad and heartbroken, this seemed like the best time to give it to you." It really was the best time. My giant! What a way to make me feel a hell lot better. With this ring our engagement was official. We were really getting married.
Me: "Zano...it's beautiful." My voice was breathy and shaky. He grunted. He removed the ring from the box.
Zano: "Give me your hand woman." He ordered roughly. I giggled and gave him my left hand which was shaking badly by the way. He put the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly. The giant kissed the ring possessively. My vision was now blurry with tears... "I like how this ring looks on your finger. You're not allowed to take it off under any circumstances until the day I exchange it with the other one on our wedding day."............................