Final chapters!!
jessie's pov
the school was only half a day due to report cards; I walk towards the classroom, adjusting my stupid skirt. Everything was so ridiculous. my mom still hasn't talked to me, she's alive, but she can't break her cover. Garcia says she's in too deep, and it will take a while for everything to be solved. It's like I'm losing her all over again.
I take a seat at my desk, bouncing my leg to ease the time until the bell rings. She was talking about different types of law enforcement; I already knew everything about that.
All the days seemed to skew together, Clara moved out to be with her parents.
She still didn't know that her mom was pregnant, but at least she has support, and the kids have grandparents. I missed her presence; now I feel like an only child again.
" Jessie?" I wish Emily were here. I wondered if she misses me or even thinks about me. There's always something with her; it feels like sometimes she wants to be a mother, and sometimes she doesn't.
"Jessie!" I look up at the teacher.
"Yes?" Mrs. Jones was an angry old lady. Despite being married for twenty years, she always had a frown on her face.
" Are you paying attention?" she says; I nod. " then, what are the three primary functions of police?"
" providing basic social services, maintaining order, and controlling crime." she looks at me in shock. This was a beginner's lesson. She continues teaching. I could see her face morph in defeat.
She went on talking until the bell rang. The homework sat on her desk, and I grabbed my sheet and started making my way to the house.
—
I lock the door and make my way towards the kitchen until a notification pops on my phone.
wantingbones wants to follow you.
It's from Tumblr; I should've deleted it. Ever since i "recovered," then another notification pops up.
wantingbones wants to send you a message
I open the direct message. Why would an eating disorder account want to message me? Now.
Hi Jessie, looking for an ana coach?
I type the words 'no' on my keyboard.
You've probably let yourself go since you've recovered. They type.
I haven't let myself go; I don't think so. I type it.
I haven't let myself go-
ok, prove it.
Huh?
Weigh yourself or send a body check?
Both.
I knew where Derek hid the scale, even though he didn't need to hide it anymore. Since I was "recovered," I was starting to grow to hate that word.
I walk into the bathroom, take off my clothes, and step on the scale; I wait for about a minute. And then the number shows.
128, that's too much- way too much. They were right. I go to their mirror; my stomach was on the verge of hanging. My arms looked huge, and my thighs.
I blocked the Tumblr account and turned to the mirror.
Why didn't anybody tell me I was getting fat. Tears stream out my eyes; I pinch the side of my stomach. Too much.
I was fat. My scars have disappeared. I'm so ugly, and everybody wanted me to be ugly. Everyone who made me take a bite of food, everyone who told me to be confident in my body. Now, people look at me and don't see a sick, fragile girl; they see someone who's "healthy" and don't need any more care.
'they just forgot about you.'
everything I had worked for is gone.
I don't deserve this body- this body doesn't deserve me.
Shaking my pockets, I grab my pencil sharpener. I don't need recovery. Back to my old ways, I break the pencil sharper and make an incision on my wrist.
I couldn't even get a chance to think. I just ran the blade up and down my wrist like a monster.
My phone vibrates on the counter; blood was dripping on the floor. I quickly check the caller id.
Savannah.
I put the phone on speaker and start to wipe the blood on the floor.
" Hello?" I say, trying not to indicate anything with my voice.
" where are you?! are you ok?" her voice triggered a familiar feeling.
"yea, what's wrong?"
"d-Derek, I'll explain everything later...a protective detail is coming to bring you to Quantico. Don't open the door for anyone except for Penelope." before saying anything else, she hangs up.
Everything was going so fast, m-my heart was beating so fast. I was still bleeding, harder than ever. But, now Derek. I can't lose him.
I couldn't even imagine. I run my wrist under hot water; the pain was excruciating. I place a paper towel on it and run to my room to find a sweater. Then a ring comes from the door, followed by a familiar voice.
Penelope.
I quickly change into a black sweater and make sure the place is clean without evidence. I run downstairs and open the door.
She runs into me with open arms.
" oh, thank God." she kisses my forehead like ten times.
"what's going on? No one telling me anything." she looks down at me with a plastered smile on her face.
"I'll tell you later." she grabs my arms and walks me to the car.
"no," I stand my ground which brings her to a stop. " I-I can't lose him. I can't keep being kept in the dark. I-I" I couldn't even finish my sentence. My tears felt like they were suffocating me.
I couldn't even see anything; I could feel Penelope's arms around me. " everything's going to be ok."
—
We were in dereks office; I was lying on Savannah's stomach. The whole team was working to bring him back, and they were close, really close
to finding him, but I want him to be alive. Savannah was running her fingers through my hair. She was trying to calm herself. I was listening to her stomach. I always used to do that with Emily. Every time we just needed quiet time to think.
I focused on her thumps in her stomach, almost exactly 7 seconds apart. It wasn't her heart.
I look at her, pupils dilated. "you're pregnant." she sniffles and wipes the stream of tears coming down her eyes. she slowly nods.
I smile and lay back on her stomach, listening back to those tiny little thumps.
" We found him." Spencer says, running into the room. " stay here. We'll keep you guys posted." he runs out.
"i-is he alive?!" Savannah yells. I could hear his feet stop in place.
" We don't know." then he leaves again. Savannah slumps her head into her hands. Crying even harder than I've ever seen her. she was holding her stomach and everything.
I didn't know how to react; I could feel her pain. " comfort her." was something Emily would say.
I sit next to her, giving her a shoulder to cry on, and she takes it.
4 hours later
we sit in silence in the hospital room, Savannah lying at dereks corner; he was in a coma.
We didn't know when he would wake up or if he was going to wake up. We just sat there in silence. It was killing me, not knowing.
48 hours later
the team came in and out with balloons and cookies; I haven't eaten anything. But, no one cares, and that's a good thing.
Savannah's asleep. But I haven't slept in two days. Just everything has been keeping me up.
" Hey, kiddo." I hear a quiet voice; it was tara. She was ushering me outside. I quietly walk, trying not to wake savannah up.
" can't sleep?" I nod and turn my head to dereks bed.
70 hours later
Derek was still in the coma, nothing...he's alive, but theirs, not function. Savannah still had a lot of hope. I was catching up on some homework.
" I'm going to the cafeteria. Do you want anything?" I shake my head and go back to my calculus books.
But I just kept staring at Derek and his helpless body. I push my laptop and work aside and sit on the side of his bed. Carefully.
"I heard somewhere that people could hear everything that's going on in the outside world while they're in a coma." I take a deep breath in.
" so Derek, If your listening. I love you so much. from the bottom of my heart, I love you." My teardrop falls on his hand. " I want you to know that your the closest thing to a father I've ever had and that I really really love you."
savannah walks in; by the look on her face, I could tell she was listening from the beginning. " when was the last time you slept?"
" 3 days ago." she pulls me off the bed onto the mini recliner in the corner.
" Derek would want you to sleep." she passes me a blanket. dereks blanket from when we lived in the apartment.
75 hours later
— Savannah's pov
I laid my head on dereks arm, fighting the urge to fall asleep. I could hear Garcia's gasp.
I lift my head, h-he was up. I try to catch my breath.
"I'm sorry I missed dinner."
" it's ok!" I wrap my arms around his neck,
" and I promise I'm never going to miss dinner for your or our little boy." he knew; how did he know.
— Jessie's pov
" will you marry me?" that voice was so familiar. I flicked my eyes open.
" yes," that was Derek; the familiar voice was Derek. My eyes were so heavy. God, why are they so heavy.
I could make out savannah lying on the side of Derek.
I push myself to get out of the chair, and I run onto the bed, resting my face into his stomach. I was trying so hard not to be loud, but I just kept sobbing into his arms.
I could feel tears dropping on my arm. He was crying too.
" you are my daughter," he says.