Struggling to Stand | jhs ff

Chapter 31: Family

November 26th, 2014

Hitman looks up at me with a smile after I knock gently on the door to get his attention. "Kenna, please come in and have a seat." He gestures to the typical chair across from his desk, and I obey. "What did you want to talk about?"

I pause to collect my thoughts and then sigh deeply. "I'm having a very difficult time finding a replacement."

Hitman nods and waves the pen he's holding between his fingers. "Is no one applying, or are they not up to your standards?"

"Not up to my standards. Since I know what is involved in this job, I can't hire just anyone, they'd lose their mind. Do you have any advice on how to look for someone?"

"It's not your job to find a replacement, Kenna. I keep telling you that."

"I know, but I want to help since everything's so crazy now. More international tours, dance routines, Japanese album versions- there's just so much! I want to be able to carefully train my replacement."

"Kenna, may I be honest with you?"

"Of course," I say, leaning back in the chair.

"It seems like you want to find someone better than you at this job, is that fair to say?"

"Absolutely. Only the best for my- for the boys!"

Hitman smiles at his desk and taps the pen a few times before setting it down. "You're not going to find that. You need to lower your standards."

I frown and cock my head in a silent question, so Hitman continues.

"For the salary we're asking, you're not going to find someone better or even as good as you. Kenna, to be honest, you're underpaid for all the work you do. I wish I could fix that, I really do, but the funds aren't there. You were a steal- we are so lucky to have had you on our team." He pauses, but I can tell there is more he wants to say. He picks the pen up and starts flicking it around his thumb. "I just have to ask- are you sure you want to leave?"

I take a deep breath. "Yes. I thought about it a long time, and this is what's best for me."

Hitman nods. "I understand. Don't worry about finding a replacement. Even if they started immediately, you wouldn't be able to train them in two days, anyway."

I nod.

"For today and tomorrow, I'd like you to take notes of what you do and where your replacement can find all the necessary information they need when they start."

"I can do that."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, sir."

___

"What?"

I gulp. "Hi, Mrs. Yeong. Do you remember me from Big-"

"Yes."

I forgot how short and blunt she is. "Cool, um, do you have a moment to talk?"

"About what?"

"Leaving BTS."

She hums. "So you are leaving then?"

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk about. Um, do- do you regret it? Leaving?"

"Working for Big Hit is a nightmare. Especially if you have a family. My husband didn't like that I wasn't home every night. Pdogg spends multiple nights at the company just to get his work done. The schedule sucks, but you already know that. What makes you second-guess quitting?"