Struggling to Stand | jhs ff

Chapter 18: Night Out Pt.1

September 5, 2014

"Just die already!"

"Kenna, you're so mean!"

"Oh! Ahhhh!" I scream as I won my first Smash game of the day. The guys are laughing, and a couple clap me on the back in congratulations. I turn to Taehyung who starts to fake cry. I side hug him, and he laughs against my shoulder. "Okay, losers, unlike you lazy lot, I actually have work to do."

Hoseok, as usual, walks with me back to my office.

I love and hate that he walks with me. It's so nice, and it feels really good to have a friend, but over the past two weeks, my subconscious has been drastically wanting to use him as a rebound from Tony, and I'm trying to keep my emotions under control. It's disgusting the amount of times I've just wanted to kiss him or stayed in a hug with him for a little too long. He doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn't mind, and I really appreciate that.

"We still going out for drinks tonight?" I ask.

"Yes!"

"You still sure that's a good idea?"

"Yes!"

I smile at the ground. "Hobi, you don't have to spend your free time with me. In fact, you probably should be resting."

"No, I should be doing what I want in my freetime, and I want to hang out with you. You're very fun. America is weird."

I laugh. It's taken a lot of getting used to the more reserved culture of Korea. The boys love it, but I still get embarrassed when I realize that suggestive jokes and excessive swearing are bigger deals here.

"What-"

"I-" We both speak at the same time and snicker. I duck my head and start chewing on my nail.

"What were you gonna say?" Hoseok asks as we round the last corner.

"Oh, um, I was just wondering what time I should be ready."

"Seven," Hoseok says with a smile.

My eyes widen. "Seven? Isn't that kind of early?"

His face pouts in confusion. "Why?"

I shake my head. "Just not what I'm used to."

"What?" he nudges me with his elbow.

"Nothing I just- I usually go out later with my friends."

"Oh. That's just when I'm done with practice for the day. We can go later if you want," he says, toeing the carpet shyly.

"No, no, seven is fine. Is that enough time for you to get showered and ready?"

Hoseok wads up his mouth and squints his eyes as he hums in thought. "Seven thirty."

"Okay then, I'll see you guys at seven thirty," I say as I open my door.

He frowns and his head cocks to the side before he recovers, smiling at me. "See you then."

After I close the door behind me, I take a moment to enjoy just sinking into my chair. I'm very ready for tonight- it's been too long since I had a drink.

__

"Hey!" I say, brushing my hair down my shoulder. It's been a few hours, but I'm still riding the rollercoaster of emotions that I don't know what to think of.

AX-Korea, as I suspected, came crawling back and begged for a third performance date when the tickets to the other two shows sold out in two minutes. But they're still not recording it, and the time is still cut by thirty minutes.