𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗨𝗟𝗜𝗔𝗥 || o. sangwoo

38: Kissing Me Softly

❝Kiss me until I forget how terrified I am 

with everything wrong with my life.❞

The water was cold, yet as Ari sat there longer it gradually became lukewarm. Or maybe she got used to that freezing cold water that her body felt numb. She lean on Sangwoo's chest and she felt oddly comfortable.

"Two and a half months," Ari muttered as she lifted her hand, tracing the patterns of scars around her wrist that's slowly fading. "You kept me alive for two and a half months. Say, Sangwoo, why didn't you kill me then?"

Sangwoo remained silent, he watched as she put her arms down and turned around slightly to look at him.

"You said you're going to kill me if I show a genuine smile. You said it will come after the fun. I smiled, we had sex. So why does it feel like you're hesitating? Why..didn't you kill me then?"

She scooted closer, the water from the tub spilling on the bathroom floor. Sangwoo remembered the first time he brought her up the basement. Why didn't he kill her then? Sangwoo was reminded of the only reason he kept her alive for this long. The longest he's ever kept a victim alive.

"Why?" He said. "What's the point of breaking something that's already broken?"

Ari stare at him for a second before she turned back around and leaned on his chest. Sangwoo chuckled, the sound vibrating from his chest as Ari looked at him slightly.

"You were so emotionless back then it was no fun to break you. I doubt you would even scream. I was curious, so I decided to give it a test."

Ari hummed before she leaned back in comfortably. If this was simply out of curiosity, Ari don't see why he seem hesitant.

"You need to repair it first so you would have fun breaking it again," he said and Ari simply listened. It was then she knew why he brought her to the amusement park, to that Ski Resort, why he bought her gifts and dresses, all to repair her. So he would have fun breaking her again.

"What a sadistic fucker," Ari muttered and even though Sangwoo heard her, he didn't say anything about it. He just acted like he didn't hear her say that.

Afterwards, there was silence between them and in the midst of Ari's thoughts she found herself humming a familiar song that she heard Sangwoo singing once.

"Strumming my pain with his fingers. Singing my life with his words," Ari started to sing, her voice a mere whisper yet the bathroom was silent enough for her soft voice to echo on the walls.

"Killing me softly with his song. Killing me softly with his song. Telling my whole life with his words. Killing me softly with his song."

Ari's voice has always been hauntingly melodic and Sangwoo felt as though he was in an empty church as she sang that song like a gospel music. He always heard that song, but it's the first time he's hearing that version of the song. Slow and haunting that even when Ari stopped, it feels as though he could still hear her voice.

"Sangwoo, is that your favorite song?"

He opened his eyes he didn't even know were close as Sangwoo looked at Ari. She was facing him now and her head slightly tilted as she looked at him.

"Not really," Sangwoo answered. "In fact, I hated that song."

"Why would you sing it then?"

"Why are you asking so many questions? It's not like you can do anything about the answers once you're dead."

Ari averted her eyes, the eyes that used to be so hollowed like there are ancient ghosts constantly peaking through the sockets of her eyes. It changed now. Sangwoo can see the significant difference from the time she first sat in this very tub.

"Sangwoo," she called after a while and she looked back at him. "Can you kiss me?"

That was an odd request. Sangwoo has never heard someone asked such question. She's asking for permission and Sangwoo doesn't see why she needs to.

"Kiss me the way you kissed me on the first snowfall," she said. "I wanted to feel your warm lips on top of mine."

And to be reminded of the promise he made that time. Ari thought about that yet she didn't say it out loud as her fingers touched her lower lip lightly. Then Sangwoo lifted his hand and held her wrist before his warm lips touched hers.

Her lips were cold yet it gradually warmed as Sangwoo kissed her. And unlike the many times he kissed other girls, this time he knew, and he's aware that he's being soft. It seems like he was too careful, as if he's handling something so fragile.

The kiss lasted for a few seconds, Sangwoo doesn't want to lean out. And when he did, he felt a liquid run down Ari's cheeks. It was warm and Sangwoo realized those were tears.

She's showing emotions now and Sangwoo doesn't like it. He hopes she wouldn't show emotion, like she did before. Her eyes that used to be so hollowed were glassy with tears.

"Sangwoo," she said. "You're a terrible liar."

Maybe it was the kiss that gave it away. The way he kissed her so softly like that. Maybe when she felt like he doesn't want to let go at all, she realized he lied that night when he said he promised he would kill her. But Sangwoo doesn't know if that was the reason why she's crying.

In most fairy tales, it was a true love's kiss that woke up the Princess in her eternal sleep, the kiss that woke up the Princess from poisoned apple, the kiss that reversed the curse and after that it is usually the happy ever after.

But in this case, Sangwoo knew, those were merely fairy tales. And this kiss was the one that will put her to an eternal sleep, like a poisoned apple and a curse.

"Ari, can you sing that song again. I want to hear it one last time."

"You said it wasn't your favorite song."

Even if she said that, Ari still ended up singing it as Sangwoo listened, hoping that he could have her sing it forever.