Deals with the Devil (PA #1)

Chapter 15

I feel a blush start to form on the apples of my cheeks but am thankfully saved from answering his question by the loud screeching that starts up in the room. Jerking my head to the location of the noise, my mouth drops at the sight of Eli completely on top of a struggling Gwen. 

Spread out on the floor, the banshee noises are definitely coming from Gwen, although Eli is adding to the cacophony with her own grunts and groans. Did I compare them to canines earlier? Because between the hair pulling and the face clawing, this brawl seems to be more feline in nature.

Killian does his best to pull Eli away from Gwen, but even I can tell that he's not putting a lot of strength into the action. Whether it's because he doesn't want to risk hurting Elizabeth or because he secretly wants to see Gwen get her perfect butt kicked, I'm not sure. 

Lucifer is definitely no help since he's cheering the girls on from his position at the dining table. Anytime one of them lands a particularly nasty hit, he whoops like he has bets placed on either one of them winning this impromptu brawl. Lilith is much more troubled by the sight of her children fighting, although she holds herself back from interfering, likely believing Killian will be able to subdue Eli better than she can.

Knowing that Romeo won't help of his own volition, I elbow him in the side. Turning his attention back to me, he rubs the spot where my bony joint met his unprotected ribs. "Ouch. What was that for, Low?"

Pointing towards the scuffle, I say, "Separate them, please. I'll make it worse if I step in, and Alexander isn't here to calm Gwen down."

Romeo pouts his plump lower lip. "But, Loooow, I want to see how this will play out. Maybe if we're lucky, Gwen will end up in the infirmary and we won't have to see her for a while."

Tempted by the sound of that alluring possibility, I waver in my decision before snapping out of it and doubling down. "Please, Rome. For me?"

Pretending to be extremely put out, Romeo sighs before striding toward the dining table and grabbing a pitcher of water. He proceeds to approach his sisters and then promptly throws the water over their warring forms. Gasps are followed by even louder screeches from a now-wet Gwen. Distracted by the coldness of the liquid now covering her body, Killian is finally able to detach Elizabeth from Gwen. While Eli appears calmer, Gwen is madder than ever.

"Romeo, you asshole! This dress is silk! Silk! It's not supposed to get wet and now it's ruined!" Ever the drama queen, Gwen picks herself up and rushes out of the room, taking her tears and ruined silk dress with her.

"Well, that worked better than expected. Let's start on dinner then, shall we?" Romeo punctuates his nonchalance with a hand clap before taking his seat at the table.

Appearing disappointed by the sudden end to the fight, Lucifer reluctantly nods his head and then sighs. Rolling her eyes at her bloodthirsty husband, Lilith takes it upon herself to stand up and pull the velvet cord dangling from the ceiling. Immediately after her slender hand returns to her side, demon servants come into the room with trays full of shareable French cuisine. Rushing to the spot next to Romeo, I quickly take his cutlery away. While he sends me a confused look, Killian and Eli find their own seats and the demons finish dropping off our food.

To his unasked question, I tell Romeo, "You won't need these for the meal that I made specifically for you."

Understandably suspicious of my unusual behavior, Romeo narrows his eyes at my face. "I smell a trap," he tells me very seriously.

"I smell something much worse," Lilith responds as she once again stares at my payback concoction.

Confused by her comment, Romeo turns his head towards his mother and follows her line of sight to the burnt pizza. Understanding dawning on his face, he sighs loudly before reaching out and pulling the food towards him. He glances at me before tearing off a slice. "I suppose this is my punishment for certain nighttime activities?" he asks. After my nod, he says, "Very well" before he brings the pizza closer to his mouth.

The rest of the room and I ignore our own food in favor of watching Romeo eat something that would be featured on the human's Fear Factor show. After it initially aired, Lucifer became a huge fan of the television program and forced his demons to compete in his version of scary challenges. Needless to say, Hell's version of Fear Factor involved a lot more blindfolded chainsaw juggling and a lot less eating weird food. When too many demons lost their body parts to killer clowns and oversized rats, Lilith forced Lucifer to quit the whole project altogether. I'm pretty sure he's still butthurt about that.

Totally lost in my own thoughts, I miss the first bite Romeo takes of my revenge meal. By this point, he's halfway through the first slice and is chewing rather thoughtfully. I expected more coughing and gagging, so his reaction is a real letdown. Not sure what to say to his underwhelming performance, I wait for him to finish his blackened crust before addressing him.

"You should be choking and spitting and rolling around on the floor by now," I accuse with a finger pointed at Romeo's perfectly smug face.

"Oh, Low. I would never let the food that you so lovingly prepared go to waste. And besides, a true gentleman always swallows." His infuriating smile only grows after delivering his not-so-subtle innuendo.

Not wanting him to see the renewed blush on my face, I pivot towards Eli and widen my eyes in a silent plea for help. Obviously torn between saving me and wanting to poke fun at my embarrassment, she presses her lips together before coming to my rescue. "I can't believe you actually put that shit into your mouth, Rome. Never mind the bull bollocks, there's pineapple in there," she exclaims before needlessly adding, "That's a fruit, by the way. On a pizza. Sacrilege."

Ignoring her reference to The Sex Pistols album and her blatant disgust, Romeo just shrugs and continues eating. Disappointed by my failed revenge plot, I scoop up my own food and chow down alongside him. In the future, maybe I should let Elizabeth do the scheming and I'll be the loyal-but-definitely-not-an-animal sidekick. Devil knows that if she was in charge of the plan, Romeo would be properly punished. And maybe dickless, depending on how crazy she was feeling that day.