Deals with the Devil (PA #1)

Chapter 3

Anne (Gluttony), Age Eight

I was named after an obese queen.

That's a word I learned recently—obese. It means extremely fat, which doesn't describe me at all. Even though my Sin is Gluttony and I do eat more than most everyone else around me, I'm still skinny. Like one of those stick-bugs.

Honestly, other than the overeating, I don't have much in common with Queen Anne. She had dark features, while I take after my mother with green eyes—like the disgusting spinach I'm forced to eat—and red hair like the fires that surround the circle of Hell we live in. Needless to say, I don't really appreciate the comparison between the two of us.

Currently, Aristotle and I are in our History of Hell class. Even though he prefers to go by Ari because he thinks that Aristotle is too long and takes too much effort to say, I like to call him by his full name in my head. As twins, we have the exact same class schedule and are never far apart outside of class either. I like it that way.

As soon as the lesson is over, I'm sure we'll talk about how much our tutor smells like funky cheese and resembles a dehydrated apple. While rude, I don't feel bad since Tutor Jacob is such an asshole. That's another word—asshole—that I keep in my head. This is Hell, but my mother still doesn't allow any of us to say curse words. On the other hand, my father usually congratulates us for swearing like he's proud that we're taking after him or something. I get along better with him.

"Are you even paying attention, Anne? I asked you a question," Tutor Jacob rattles out in that wheezy voice of his. Being over three thousand years old really doesn't agree with him.

"Of course, Tutor Jacob. I was just gathering my thoughts. While I do so, would you mind repeating the question? I want to make sure I get it exactly right." Aristotle smirks next to me as I respond to our least favorite tutor.

"Very well. I asked you to recite the nine circles of Hell and tell me what their purpose is," he replies with spit leaving his chapped lips after every other word. Luckily, I'm not in the splash zone.

Hiding my disgust behind a smile that even my mother would be proud of, I quickly recite the answer that has been drilled into my head for as long as I can remember. "Of the nine circles of Hell, which were somewhat misrepresented in Dante's Inferno, seven belong to the Seven Deadly Sins—Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Envy, Lust, and Pride. The last two remaining circles are Limbo and the Devil's Domain.

"Dead humans who have been categorized as sinners are first sent to Limbo, where they are sorted into a circle that reflects the sin they were most motivated by in life. For those who were evenly motivated by more than one sin, such as Adolf Hitler, their time is divided into those respective circles. In Hitler's case, he now spends his days being tortured in Wrath, Greed, and Pride. Nasty stuff, I'm sure.

"The last circle, the Devil's Domain, just holds the castle and surrounding forests and lakes. Lucifer and his wife Lilith live there with their seven children, me and Ari included, and the various high-level demons and guards."

Without appearing very impressed by my answer, Tutor Jacob follows up by asking, "And what is your role here, Anne?"

I don't even stop to think. "Well, the whole reason for my existence, and that of my siblings, is that Lucifer got tired of running Hell all by himself. Instead of trusting the higher-level demons with the job, because my father is just paranoid like that, he decided that having seven kids who each embody one of the Seven Deadly Sins would be a much better option. I'm infused with gluttony, which means I like to eat and drink a lot. Once I finish my time at the academy, I'll be in charge of the Gluttony ring. Deciding how to torture the overindulgent, I guess."

I take a deep breath after that long answer while Tutor Jacob just hums instead of saying anything. When I glance over at Aristotle for support, I find that he's slouched low in his chair, completely passed out. Even though he's supposed to be Sloth, it still surprises me that he's able to fall asleep in such an uncomfortable wooden chair. Following my gaze, Tutor Jacob also looks at the asleep Aristotle but makes no comment. We're all kind of used to it at this point.

Before the silence in the cramped study room can become too awkward, the door bursts open with a loud bang and Romeo and Lizzie rush into the room like their heels are on hellfire. Breathing heavy, Lizzie tries to force words out of her throat in between inhales and exhales. "Angels. The angels are here. The important ones that Dad hates. Mom said to come and get you two so we could all greet them. Follow us fast."

Well, shit. As far as I know, the important angels, which I'm guessing are the archangels, haven't been to Hell since before I was born. Dad usually meets with them in a safe zone that belongs to neither Heaven nor Hell. Them being here is not a good sign.

Not wanting to waste time, I push out of my chair, shove Aristotle until he wakes up, and then drag him out of the room behind me. Following my youngest siblings through the hallways of the west wing, I notice that we're headed towards the Great Hall of Shame, which is a big room that holds my parents' thrones and our mini-thrones. We usually use this room for important dinners and holidays, or whenever my father feels the need to intimidate someone. I can only assume that he intends to intimidate the archangels today.

"Where's Willow?" Aristotle asks, distracting me. It is kind of weird that she isn't with Lizzie; those two five-year-olds are usually attached at the hip.

Romeo pouts before answering. "Mom wants to keep her away from the angels, and Low's upset because she doesn't want to miss out on anything exciting. I promised her I'd tell her everything later, but she slammed a door in my face and now I think she's mad at me."

Knowing that Willow won't stay mad at Romeo for long, not that he'll let her, I choose to focus on the first part of his statement. "Why would mom want to keep Willow away from the angels? I thought they liked humans?"

Neither Romeo nor Lizzie have a response to that. When I look over at Aristotle, he has his face scrunched in the way that means he's thinking deep thoughts. He's usually unreachable in that state, so I leave him alone and focus on the ground beneath my feet. Before I know it, we've approached the black double doors of the Great Hall of Shame. Two guards stand in front of them and open the doors once we are close enough to reach them.

Entering the room, I'm taken aback as I always am by the high ceilings with murals telling the story of my father's time in Heaven and the major battles he fought in order to take over Hell. They're beautiful and so distracting that Aristotle has to nudge me to get my attention. Once I glance at him, he tilts his head towards the front of the room in a nonverbal way of telling me to go take my seat.

As Lizzie and I climb the steps to the right of my mother's golden throne, my brothers walk to the left of my father's obsidian throne. Beyond being separated by gender, we sit in birth order, so I'm right next to my mother. My throne is smaller than hers and made of emeralds to match my eyes. Like my siblings, my throne is covered in engraved pieces that represent my Sin. In my case, that means various fruits and vegetables, which somehow do not look stupid.

Once sitting, I turn my gaze to the left and right and notice that my whole family is already in their seats. Not a second later, the doors to the hall open again and three shining figures walk through. They're literally shining, with skin that glows like there's a light underneath it. I can only assume that these newcomers are the archangels my father always rants about.

My father stands and addresses the biggest one, who steps in front of the others. "Ah, Archangel Michael. To what do I, a humble servant of our Lord and Savior, owe the pleasure of your visit?"

Michael speaks in a booming voice that gives me goosebumps and echoes throughout the room. "We know you have an unauthorized human child here, Lucifer. Where is the girl?"