Deals with the Devil (PA #1)

Chapter 26

Apparently, the distance between Los Angeles and Anaheim—home of the original Disneyland—requires a trip on the freeway. Highway? Interstate? There are too many terms to describe the concrete stretch of road that allows drivers to quickly speed toward their destinations. Luckily, there aren't many people trying to leave Los Angeles at this hour, so traffic isn't an issue for us. The same can't be said for those driving on the other side of the freeway, though.

"Look, children." Lucifer removes one hand from the steering wheel in order to gesture at the bumper-to-bumper traffic to the left of us. I turn my body sideways in my seat to better see what he's talking about. "All those people spending countless hours just to get to their low-paying jobs, where they'll spend even more hours doing work that they hate before getting back in their cars and wasting hours of their lives to drive home. Only for the cycle to repeat itself almost every day until they die."

So, there goes my good mood. "Uh, thanks for pointing that out, Lucifer. I love being reminded of the monotony that plagues most human lives."

He either doesn't pick up on my sarcasm or chooses to ignore it because he smiles and nods at my response.

Elizabeth is not so subtle. She kicks the back of his seat and then thumps the side of his head with the palm of her hand. "Keep that existential, philosophical, Debby Downer bullshit to yourself today, Dad. We're supposed to be having fun!"

Although stronger than all of us combined, Lucifer pretends to be hurt by Eli's abuse. Groaning, he rubs a nonexistent sore spot on his head while glaring daggers at his youngest daughter in the rearview mirror.

"Ouch," is his delayed response. "You shouldn't hurt the person who gave you life, Elizabeth. I could just as easily take it away," Lucifer nonchalantly states.

The energy in the car shifts. At the perceived threat to Eli's life, Killian's body goes stone still. His only sign of movement is the flaring of his nostrils, which is followed by the steam that begins to escape them. Killian's fiery eyes burn brighter; he keeps his gaze locked onto Lucifer as if planning to attack him should he move a single muscle in Eli's direction.

"Human parents say something like that, too," I unhelpfully add, trying to defuse the sudden tension. When Killian gives no reaction, I attempt to distract him by adopting a terrible southern accent, something that would typically make him laugh. "'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out,'" I say with my best twang.

Elizabeth pulls no punches. "That was pretty shit, Will, I gotta be honest. Please stay away from all accents from now until forever."

At the sound of Eli's voice, Killian's muscles begin to unlock and he shifts his attention to her position at his side. Seeing her safe and unharmed, he breathes out slowly, causing a big cloud of steam to puff up around him. Killian relaxes even further when she continues to speak.

"T-minus ten minutes, people!" Eli declares with a loud clap of her hands. "Let's not get distracted from our main goal of the day."

When she doesn't say anything more, I wave my hand in a circle at her. "Our goal is to..." I prompt.

"Our goal is to have the best day ever! We're going to go on every ride at least once, eat all of the sweet and savory treats they have to offer, and buy as much merchandise as the boys can carry."

"Hey!" Lucifer exclaims. "I'm a man, not a boy. I have not been a boy since before hydrogen was a thing."

Eli rolls her eyes. "We get it, Dad. You're older than the universe."

"And don't you forget it."

The rest of the drive is less noteworthy. The city of Anaheim isn't the most beautiful of places, so the scenery outside my window is a bit lackluster. A lot of industrial buildings and hotels intersperse the overwhelmingly gray landscape. The closer we get to Disneyland, though, the more people we see and the more upscale everything looks.