Deals with the Devil (PA #1)

Chapter 13

Willow, Age Sixteen

In my fifteen years of living in Hell, I've spent at least ten hanging around the kitchens. Run by dead sinners who were famous or well-renowned chefs during their time on Earth, I've been able to pick up cooking techniques from all kinds of cultures and time periods.

Since their time in the kitchens is their only reprieve from eternal torture, they're usually eager to teach me anything I want to know. Today, though, I plan to teach someone else a lesson.

In order to avoid the chaos of the main kitchen, I start stretching and shaping pre-made pizza dough in one of the smaller kitchens that's typically used for baking.

Between adding sauce and sprinkling on a heavy dose of cheese, Elizabeth and Killian enter the room, both wearing head-to-toe black leather like they just left a BDSM convention. Surprised that they're even together, I immediately stop what I'm doing in order to stare at them in bemusement.

Eli rolls her eyes. "Don't give me that look, Will. You need to step up your combat game, and the mutt was the only person I could find to help. Besides, I want to see you smash his pretty face in."

Killian turns red eyes to Elizabeth. "Aw, princess. You think I'm pretty?"

With zero hesitation, Eli pivots and uses her high-heeled leather boot to kick Killian right in the dick. He crumples to the floor while cupping his junk and groaning. "I'm already regretting my decision, mutt."

Stepping over his squirming body, Elizabeth walks to where I'm standing before leaning against the nearest counter. "What are you even doing, Will? We're having dinner in like an hour. Jacques is cooking tonight, so I doubt you can do any better."

Deciding to ignore her in punishment for hurting Killian like that, I remain silent. At this point, I've resumed my pizza-making. Now, I'm placing a heavy handful of pineapple on top of the cheesy layer.

Eli, with disgust evident in her scrunched up face and incredulous voice says, "Look, Will, I know this is Hell and all, but there's no reason to torture yourself like that. Keep the fruit off the pizza—it doesn't belong there."

I say nothing in response as I methodically add broccoli to what is sure to be the greatest pizza of all time....for reasons.

Elizabeth blows out a loud breath. "Okay, now you're just fucking with me. There's no way you're actually gonna eat a pizza with cooked broccoli on it. It's going to smell and taste exactly like farts."

That one makes me want to laugh, but I keep my facial expressions in check and my amusement internal.

Somehow already recovered from his penis attack, Killian starts full-out belly laughing at how simultaneously serious and ridiculous Elizabeth is acting. In response, Eli stomps over to him and hits Killian in the chest. "Back me up here, Scooby Doo. Tell her how gross she's being right now."

"Why do you even care, Ellie? You don't have to eat it," he responds through lingering wheezes.

"I care because friends should not let friends make weird food concoctions unless they're pregnant or dying. And last I checked, the mortal is alive and ticking with no baby in there kicking, so she really has no excuse for whatever crisis she's obviously going through. This is clearly a cry for help, and I am here to answer." Elizabeth holds her hand over her heart through the last part of that little speech, seeming so sincere that I feel bad about ignoring her.

"I love you, Eli. You'll always be my ride or die—" I start to respond before she interrupts me.

"Damn straight, soul sister."