attention | oscar diaz

cincuenta y seis- off the rails

Leyla's pov

"Does she not feel guilty at all? Cause if not then she's gone completely off the rails." I hear the guys yell at each other.

Even as I lay on Oscar's bed with the doors closed. They think their whispers aren't detected by my ears.

It was true. I had gone off the rails. But i did feel guilty. Not because i regret it, but because I know how it feels for someone i loved to have died. At the same time i dont feel bad for doing it because if i didnt then Damien's father and the rest of the prophets wouldn't feel my pain.

So if this is the measures i have to take to get back at them. So fucking be it.

The whispers soon faded and i heard the metal door shut.

Then the bedroom door opened and there was Martín.

"Hey." he spoke softly as he walked in and shut the door. He sat on the edge of the bed and just looked over at me.

"You know Leyla... We're really worried about you." he let out a sigh.

"Yeah i could tell. Oscar hasnt looked me in the eyes since it happened. In fact i feel like he's falling out of love with me." i forced all my emotions to stay intact.  "Same goes for all of you guys. You look scared. Like i became a monster. But if you want to know the truth. I think all of you dont like the idea of me doing the things i've been doing is because it made you realize how cruel being a gang member can be." I get up from the bed and look at Martín as i storm off to the front yard. I knew they were setting up Martín to be my little therapist.

The Santos just sat their in their chairs as they smoked and took a few sips of whatever was in their brown bags.

"Dont act like you've never second guessed being a Santo, guys. We are the new generation of Santos. All of the older guys are practically retired. So now we have to step up. And you're all on edge because i'm the only one who really took initiative." I shook my head and laughed. "Because i grew balls and killed someone before all of you."

"Being a Santo doesnt mean you have to go on a killing spree." Martín argued as he followed me out to the yard. "Its about protecting ourselves and the ones we love."

"WHAT DO YOU THINK IM FUCKING DOING?!" i scream at the top of my lungs. My throat burned after i finished my sentence. The guys just looked at me completely terrified i'd go psycho and shoot someone else.

"I DONT KNOW LEYLA!" Oscar matched my pissed off energy.

"EVERYTHING! Everything i have done has been for you guys." i started to tear up.

"My dad died from a prophet, so did my mom and Javier. And i know all of you guys lost someone too. Oscar you lost your dad, Antonio you did too. And what about you Diego? You're older sister got harassed by a prophet."

They stayed silent.

"How long is it going to he until its one of you guys die? This peace on earth bullshit isnt going to work. Its only going to get us killed off one by one. And i dont know about you guys. But i don't want to he around for another funeral." i threw my hands in the air with frustration.

They didnt say anything.

They just looked at me like i was crazy.

I just shook my head and walked off.

"Leyla! Come here!" Oscar called out.

I turned my back and faced the house once more.

"My name is Asesina." I corrected before walking off.

—sweeteasaint