Somewhere Under Heaven

Music for this chapter: Somewhere Under Heaven & Square One both by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers 

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"This is going to be tough."

We just pulled up to the funeral home and I can't help but say those words. We know that my sister had a stroke in her sleep and that she didn't take good care of herself but this was the moment I dreaded.

Cheyanne didn't want anything too fancy. A few years ago, she told me that she didn't even care what would happen to her body after her death so we're having her cremated. And since my parents are at war with most of the family, we're not having a funeral but we're planning on getting friends together afterwards for a memorial.

I'm sitting on a bench near the funeral home having a vape when Shane pulls up with my parents. "Hey, Casey," he says to me.

"Hey."

My mom would ask Rob how I'm holding up and he tells her it's about to be expected. "When I got there, she was a train wreck. Took her a couple of hours but she at least got some sleep. Today she got several texts from people at the church along with flowers with a note that really upset her."

"They started that overly religious bullshit, didn't they," my dad asks.

"Yep. I took care of it though. Every time she got a text, she showed it to me and I basically told them if they can't be supportive and say anything other than things like that, they should back off. Look, you can have your beliefs but at least be a human and say something that doesn't sound like you're trying to convert them in their time of grief." 

"I always hated that," Mom says. "But what can you do."

I then say something, "You can walk away which I did. I'm tired of the abuse."

We all walk into the funeral home and I get freaked out by the sight of my sister lying on that table. They have her covered with a sheet from the neck down and the funeral director made sure that the bruises were covered from what the stroke and lying dead did to her. Shane walks in along with my parents but I stand at the door, frozen. 

"I can't do this," I say. "I just can't."

Let's just say that Rob did what any friend would do in that situation. "Casey, it's okay. You know you have to do this and it's okay." 

"You're going in there with me, right?"

He puts his arm around me. "Of course."

My mom's pastor was busy with other things so we had him talk to us via a phone call on my dad's phone. I keep feeling like this was pretty much what hell is but I try to stay strong. 

While my parents are in the office talking with the funeral director, my brother and his wife go out for a smoke. I run out for air and Rob finds me sitting under a tree near the river.

"Casey?" he says to me as he approaches. 

"She should have went to a doctor," I say to him. "Why did God allow this?" 

"Wish I knew," he would say. "I do know that she considered you to be the best sister and friend anyone could ask for. I wish I could just go back in time and stop all this from happening. I would have even dropped everything, flown out here, thrown her in a car and dragged her to the doctor if I had to."

Yeah, and we all thought I was weird. "Oh really? I can picture that headline on TMZ."

We both get a laugh out of that. "At least I made you smile a little," he says to me.