Harder Than You Know (Austin Mahone and Alex Constancio)

Chapter Eighteen

How was I going to fix all of this? I almost felt like it was all my fault even though I knew it was not. I mean, was it? I didn't cause any of it or want any of it to happen, but shit happens, right? I'd had so many mixed emotions lately. I was so confused. I loved Austin but Alex I have a lot of feelings for him and according to Allie he liked me, too, which made me confused about my friendly feelings for him. But I think she may have just been saying that to make me feel bad. Everyone in my life hated me I didn't understand what I did. 

"Ouch, umm okay," I said.

"You aren't going to say anything about me? That's not you, you never back down from a fight you always come up two steps higher." Allie snapped.

"And you come back harder every time. You know what? I changed. I'm done with stupid fights with stupid people I'm done with everything. Fuck my life." I said. "I'm going to bed, Bryna, where am I sleeping?"

"Alex you know where the guest rooms at care to take her there?" Bryna said to Alex.

 "Sure," Alex smiled, taking my arm and leading me to the stairs. 

  Alex's P.O.V

I was so glad Bryna asked me to take Natalie to her room. I really needed to talk to her. I showed her the room then sat down in the chair next to her bed as she laid down, still lightly sobbing. 

"Is what Alycin said true, Alex?" She said sitting up and wiping her tears away. 

"In all honesty yes, I'm in love with you. The girl my best friend ever is in love with. The girl who is one of my best friends. I'm in love with everything about you." I mumbled and listened to her side.

She was frozen. "Everyone hates me Alex." She started really crying, then. "If I did anything with you that would be horrible. Austin would probably kill you and himself, Alycin would never talk to me again. Have you even thought about her? I mean you two are still dating." 

  She's right about everything, but of course I had known.

"Allie is the last thing on my mind lately. I like her a lot, just not like I love you. I know it's crazy I mean we haven't even been dating, you have been falling head or heels for my best friend while Allie and I seem like we are doing the same thing. When Allie and I are laying there together she seems so happy. She's always talking about me to everyone. Then there's me feeling like a lifeless doll. I can't do it anymore." I said slowly, kneeling by her bed and looking her dead in her tear-filled eyes. And I realized my mistake.

 Just then Allie opened the door. I turned to look at her.

"I've seen the way you have been looking at her lately. I'm broken. But it's okay. I guess this is the end of us." She said. It wasn't loud, or soft. She was normal. And she didn't look upset or anything. "I would like to say thank you. For pulling me into your arms, almost forcefully, then slamming me away."

  I slightly smiled, then I dropped it, realizing what I just said. Alycin walked away. 

"You aren't even going to say anything to her, try to fight for her, anything?"  Natalie asked. 

"I don't even know anymore, Nats." I said. 

"Go home Alex, think about things. I want you to know what you are losing for whatever you'll gain. Because if you gain me your getting a down grade. My problems and everything. I'm nothing like I come off as. Just know that, okay? And besides, think of the hurt that you'll put Austin in." Natalie kissed me and gently pushed me out of the door. 

Natalie's P.O.V

  I laid there in Frankie's house, feeling so lonely. I knew Austin and Allie and Alex had already left. I was just afraid, why did all of this have to happen, to me, now? It made absolutely no sense. I eventually fell into a restless sleep.