[Rewritten] Out she came in...Naruto

Chapter 36: The difference that matters

Air

I needed air.

Clutching my chest, breathing in, failing to calm my racing heart.

I was having a panic attack.

"Lu!"

I held my breath, trying hard to stay quiet.

"Lu!"

Tears formed in my eyes. I bit my lip to keep them from falling.

"Lucy!"

I could feel the bile in my throat move up. I swallowed it back down.

It'd been six minutes since I walked out of the room. Six minutes since I started to question everything.

The friends I'd made, the people I'd helped. The-

"You killed my family!"

I shut my eyes, feeling my heart squeeze in my chest. Was I dying again? Had I even died before? Why was I here?

A hand rested on my shoulder and my body flinched. I cried out, struggling against the person. Something had snapped in me. The thing that had held me together.

"Lu! Listen to me!" I continued to fight, the words not registering in my mind.

SMACK!!!

My head turned to the side, fingers reached for the red spot on my cheek. I opened my eyes in shock.

Barbara stared at me with a panicked expression, breathing heavily. I'd never seen her this disheveled since...actually I'd never seen her disheveled at all.

"Focus Lu!" She yelled, then sighed when I didn't show any response.

"I told you whatever happened was not your fault."

She sat down in front of me, while I, still yet to say anything continued to stare at her as if she was an alien. Maybe she was.

Nothing made sense anymore.

"You know, just because you've been given the power, it doesn't automatically make you capable of saving everyone." She said in a soft voice.

I stayed quiet, even though I'd calmed down. Barbara never spoke like this, only when she was about to say something that'd make me understand her more.

She rarely opened up, and to be honest, at that moment, I didn't trust her. She was after all, the one who drew the plan.

'After you asked her to do it' My inner voice taunted.

"It's okay to be uncertain."

"How would you know?" I couldn't help but bite out. I wasn't angry at Barb per say, just the whole situation, which made me hate everything else.

So yeah, I was in a way mad at her.

This is what I'd been trying to avoid. That depressive feeling. The fate of people's lives in your hands, and power to change the course of history.

"I've been in your position many times than I can count." Barbara answered nonchalantly. 

I scoffed. "Doubt it was as tense as this."

"You never know." She replied in a cryptic tone.

I clenched my fist. "Why do you keep secrets from me? Don't you trust me?"

"With my life Lu, as you should yours. You know I'd never betray you."

"No I don't. I don't know you. You never tell me anything! You know what that makes you? A stranger! You're a stranger!"