Loving her

Bonus chapter

"Welcome to your new life." I hear someone snicker behind me as the police officer opens the jail cell. I clear my throat before taking a deep breath and listening to my thick heartbeat.

"So this is it?" I gulp, looking at the empty and cold room.

"Yup, now get the hell in." The man says and I bite at my lip. Everything in me wants to scream, cry, and finally, bust my way out of this place but I can't. The officer closes the cold metallic door behind me, leaving me here all alone.

I place the new uniform that has been folded for me, onto the small bed; the bed that is clearly not meant for anyone my size. But as I've been told—Nobody cares. My mind wants to run wild with things to do but yet, I feel stuck with nothing but my own mind. 

The fact that this will be the rest of my life is a fact I still can't swallow.

"Lights out!" I hear the same officer yell before she slides her baton across the rims of everyone's cells.

"No!" Someone screams and I feel terrified.

"Woo!" someone else yells before the officer silences them.

"Lights out." Yet another inmate says calmly before the lights turn off. The small window with the light coming out reminds me a little of my dorm. Life back then was so uncomplicated, I went to Harvard, I had a best friend, I had Liam. 

I had everything I wanted and now, somehow everything good in my life has died. Ava blindsided me, and now while I'm stuck in here, she's running free, going to parties and shopping malls the same parties and shopping malls I will never in my lifetime see again. 

I swallow the lump in my throat, the one that will be here with me forever. I'm barely a college freshman and now for the remainder of my life until I'm thirty-one, forty-three, fifty-seven, seventy-five, eighty-two I'll be here until finally, I'll pass away, having experienced nothing but a quick childhood, a murder, a backstabbing friend and a jail cell. 

My mind runs wild again with the list of things I should have done, I should have seen through Liam, nobody will ever love someone like me. I should have seen through Ava and I should have seen through the person I was becoming. 

My back starts to ache from the almost broken bed and before my mind can help me find a better position, my feet are on my pillow and I'm looking through the window. The light looks so bright coming in but now that I'm staring outside all I see are those lights and sharp fences of the jail. 

The starry night is almost invisible which is something I never thought I'd miss so deeply but here I am, wanting to cry because I can't see the night sky. A tear rolls down my cheek and before I know it I'm silently sobbing into my forearm.

"Shut the hell up!" I hear an inmate scream, I know it's most likely Molly, and my sobbing stops before it continues again, even more drastically this time.

"I will kill you tomorrow! No possibility of parole so guess what? I have nothing to lose!" my sobs stop, or at least I force them to. Now that I hear the word I'm instantly reminded of how lightly I used to take it. 

Nobody ever considers the word to mean anything but people like Molly are running around in the world using the word; the word that nobody takes seriously. 

But now that I'm here among these inmates the word means much more, it's a threat and a threat I know I won't be able to withstand. 

I look out into the emptiness behind the fence and try to calm my mind but almost instantly it travels to Liam and the place his body is buried. 

I thought I could have never done it. Killing such a handsome jock didn't feel possible. Luring him there was even harder and yet that night reminds me of nothing other than his beautiful face, his blonde hair and his gorgeous gray eyes still speak to me, they tell me just how much he misses me and my body and that the only reason he did it was because he loved me. 

Although he never said it, I know it, he did love me and with all of his heart no matter how little of it he showed me, he did love me.