TIVA FANFIC: Broken Years, Rivers of Tears (NCIS)

No Excuse

~One of the best NCIS Tiva moments ever!!

Jake struggled to stand. "Saleem, well, he was a complicated one," he began, shakily. "I knew him as a child. You see, we were neighbors and went to the same school. Our parents were close, and we spent all our time together."

Ziva clenched her hand into a fist.

"He was a good kid. Always did his homework. Kind. Funny. He was my best friend," he croaked.

"Sometimes, I when I think about how he turned out, the monster he became..." Jake broke off. "I thought the sweet child in him was still there, the one who liked building sandcastles and playing football. He invited me to Somalia to visit him. I could not decline. Not after what he had done for me."

Ziva narrowed her eyes, menacingly.

"What exactly had he done?" she asked pointedly.

"He saved me."

Ziva raised her eyebrows.

"That monster does not care about anybody but himself," she hissed.

"That was after. That was after he had watched his mother and father die in the fire that burnt down his home. He watched them die in front of him. He could do nothing to help them, to save them. It haunted him, Ziva. He could not forgive himself."

Jake looked up at Ziva, daring himself to meet her gaze. But seeing the fury inside of her intense brown eyes, he looked down quickly.

"My parents are dead, too!" Ziva screamed with rage, failing to control the wobble in her voice.

"And I could not save them. Do you not think that it cuts as me? Do you not think that my families' deaths linger over me like a black, unforgiving cloud of pain?"

Ziva slammed her palm against the wall. "But that is no excuse to kill," she bellowed.

"I'm sorry," Jake stuttered. "I did not know."

Ziva turned away from him. "There is much you do not know," she replied, her voice like acid.

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice. What Saleem did is unforgivable. No excuse will ever justify his actions," Ziva declared, and walked away, shaking.

The truth hurt even more than she had expected.

Shutting her eyes and cringing, she hurried off to the bathroom.

She wasn't sure if she could ever talk to Jake again.