a dead world || {daryl dixon} || (being changed and edited since 3/26/2022 ||

~Chapter 38~

*Jordyn's Point of View*

It is now been about 3 weeks since the slaughter and since then, everything has gone good. According to Rosita, I am currently 3 months pregnant. I have been tired out of my mind, and I and Maggie have been talking a lot. She is about 5 months pregnant. 

Some of us, especially Glenn, still have nightmares from the slaughter. Well, he and Carol at least. they just aren't used to the killing and stuff. I got closer to Enid since she is always around when I am hanging around with Carl. I mean, I guess it's the pregnancy, but I am starting to get a lot of memories from the farm, and the prison. 

I remember when I first got there, me and Shane actually kind of got along. Yeah, he was a perv, but also kind of my friend. I guess it's weird to say that I miss him. And I miss Beth, my god does I miss her. I always have and I don't know why it's all coming to my now. 

Lori. God do I miss her too. The way her hair flowed in the wind. I am not going to lie, she was a spoiled annoying bitch, but for some reason, I was her friend. Probably her closest friend. And she trusts me with her family so I have to stay alive to protect them. 

I also miss T-Dog. When I first got to camp, it was him and Glenn who the first kind of welcomed me there. I always think out with them, and I and T-Dog always went on watch together. 

And Merle. For some reason, I feel like he should still be alive right now. I miss him..a lot. I wish he was here, at least to knock some sense into his goodman brother. 

Daryl. Oh, last night. He kissed me. And the worst part is that I didn't fight back. I let him kiss me. After what he said, and everything. I know I still love him, but can I show him the love....no. I can't let him win like this. Even after a year of being apart, he still had to bring up Lori, and that is just no alright with me. 

I also wish Gabbie was here, to tell me that I am wrong. To tell me to go and jump in his arms, but she isn't, so I am stuck with myself, which isn't a good thing. 

And the baby. I am scared of it. I am scared that I am going to die, or that it will die. I am scared to end up like Lori, never knowing my child. I am scared of what might happen to it if I die. I try not to think about it, but it's the only thing I cant think about. 

Today, I am going to Hilltop, but myself. And I know it's probably not the best idea, but I want to. I wanna see Jesus and Eddie. I missed them. 

I head over to the front of Alexandria as I hop in one of the cars. I salute myself to Carl in a funny Irish accent and drive off. 

-45 mins later-

"What the hell is going on". I heard a familiar voice from the car. I stop the brakes heavily which sends the person flying to the front of the car.

 "Daryl! What the fuck are you doing in here"! I exclaim, obviously very mad. 

"I was looking for something and I guess I fell asleep"? he questioned himself. I nodded at him. 

"Hey! What the hell you doing in here"! He exclaimed at me, turning to my side. he decided it would be a good idea to sit upfront with me. 

"I'm going to Hilltop," I said as I started the car again and began driving. 

"By yourself"? He questioned biting his lip. 

"Not anymore". I said sarcastically.  I was too close to drive back, and I didn't want to waste gas like that. I mean we had tons, but still. I figured out T-Dogs 'equation' for siphoning gas. So now, we have more of it, and how to use it properly.