Tommyinnit Oneshots

Drowning

T/W:

Past Self Harm, Depression, 

Tommy knew he had been drowning for months. He knew he should do something about it, but he didn't want to bother the people who seemed to care about him the most. He was currently sitting at his computer, in the middle of a stream. But he wasn't doing anything, he was just listening to his friends blame each other for being "sus" in Among Us. He only perked up when he heard his own name being said. He didn't catch all of it, only the part of being asked where he was that round. He stuttered for a few moments, trying to think of where he was. He couldn't remember, he was just zoned out and quiet. Nobody had noticed that he was quiet, which he didn't mind really, he knew he was annoying.

"Tommy, where were you?"
He was asked again.
"uh- fuck, uh- I-I think I was in electrical? I-I don't remember I zoned out-"
He muttered and jumped when everyone once again started talking, the blame now being put on him for the video game murder of Skeppy. It wasn't long before his character was ejected. He honestly didn't care and was just planning to go back to being zoned out but somehow still streaming until he heard Skeppy just joking around.

"Well now that the annoying one is gone, we can actually play without whining."He didn't know what happened next. He only remembered tears coming to his eyes and it starting to be hard to breathe. It felt as if someone was choking him. He knew his stream could see him, and he tried to turn it off but only ended up falling off of his chair onto the ground with a thud. He let out choked sobs as he tried to calm down, running his hands through his blonde hair. Tears made it hard to see. He couldn't think, couldn't talk, couldn't do anything but cry. He knew when he fell his headphones unplugged and he could hear the cloudy voices of his friends trying to get his attention. He heard Tubbo asking if he needed to come over and if he was okay. He heard Wilbur scolding Skeppy along with Bad. He heard Dream, who was currently staying with George, asking if everything was okay and if he needed to contact Tommy's mother. But he couldn't do anything but cry, well sob. It had been at least 15 minutes before he actually managed to pull himself up and end the stream and get off the call. He could hear his friends' voices ringing through his ear. He made them worried. He worried them because he was so pathetic

He stumbled over to his bed and let himself fall onto it, but to his demise, he missed and landed on the floor, causing him to grip the carpet in his hands and just sob harder. Why did he mess everything up? Why was he like this? His friends probably didn't even like him. Everything was getting blurry and he just let himself lay against the carpet of his floor. His parents weren't even home so he could just cry to himself for hours. And that's what he intended to do. He felt horrible. He knew it was around 2 am. He always streamed early. His parents were only gone because they had wanted a small vacation, which he didn't mind. He could take care of himself, he was almost 17. Well, still 16. He figured closing his eyes wouldn't hurt. So he did. And he felt himself be lulled off to sleep by the sound of his own sniffles and gasps for air.

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He woke up to the sound of pounding on his door. He started shaking out of the pure shock that someone was actually there to see him. Wait- how'd they even get in his house? That was something that ran through his head until he remembered he told his friends his family had left a house key under a certain plant that was on their small front porch. He took a deep breath and got up, stumbling slightly over his own feet. He looked down at his arms and let his vision focus on the pure small lines upon lines upon lines of faded cuts and scars he'd made over the months. The others didn't know, and that's how he wanted to keep it. But he knew they'd find out one day. He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard the door being pounded on once again, and he finally went to open it. There stood Dream, Tubbo, and of course, Wilbur. How they all decided to come, he had literally no idea. Tubbo was the first to move, tackling Tommy with a hug that had so much force he almost fell down again. He paused before shakily hugging him back, burying his face into the crook of his neck. "Tommy, could you tell us what happened?" He heard Dream ask him, and he didn't do anything, just simply shrugged. He let Tubbo guide him over to his own bed and actually make sure he sat down. The weight that was added to his bed made him realize that Wilbur had sat on his bed along with Tubbo, and Dream was in his gaming chair which he didn't mind. There was silence for a moment, the only sound being the blonde boy's best friend trying to calm him down enough so he could talk, running his hands through his hair and rubbing his back.  It felt like hours before Tommy could actually talk. His crying had parched him dry, and Wilbur had brought him some water. "I-I uh. I dunno.. I just..broke down after Skeppy said I was annoying.." Tommy mumbled. "Tommy, you know he was just joking around..-" Dream started to talk to him before Tommy felt newfound anger boiling in his blood. He quickly got up and clenched his fists.

"I know that! But it hurt more than it should have because it's fucking true! I'm so- I'm just- I'm not worth your time! I'm annoying, and I'm bratty and- and-"
The teenager was about to go on before he realized the three were silent and staring at something. He paused before he felt a shiver go down his spine once he realized he didn't have a long sleeve shirt on. They were staring at his scars. He saw Tubbo tearing up, as well as Wilbur. He took a deep breath and quickly backed away, his eyes darting around the room so he could distract himself.
"I'm sorry I- I didn't mean to- "
He could only manage a few words before the three of them were hugging him, trying to calm him down. 
"Please don't tell my mom..."
He whispered and felt them all nod. "As long as that makes sure that you won't hurt yourself again, Thomas," Wilbur replied. Tommy cringed at the use of his full name but nodded, reaching a hand up to wipe his eyes which stung and were bloodshot from crying so much.
"okay. I promise. a-and Tubbo- I'm so so-rry for always being so rude and mean and hurtful to you- to all of you. I just- I feel that if I start treating you better just randomly you might hate me and leave me and it's stupid but it's all I think about, I don't want to lose you guys."
Tommy said quickly, his bee-lover friend shutting him up with another, tighter hug. He smiled slightly and melted into it, wrapping his arms back around him, returning the hug. He finally felt safe. He finally felt as if he was submerged out of the water with these guys. They knew he was drowning, and they came with life jackets, and they were the lifeguards that kept him going. And he loved them for that. but still, the others would never have known he was drowning, until he was dead. And he didn't want to put them through that pain of losing him, even when he knew the air he was breathing could have saved someone else's life. He was snapped out of his thoughts by Tubbo asking him if he wanted to go get Boba tea. He thought for a moment, before smiling and grabbing his wallet. 
"yeah..let's go. and by the way you three?"
He hummed, turning around from his desk as he followed them to the door.
"Thank you for being my lifeguards. I don't know how much longer I could've drowned until I finally let myself go"
He watched a small pang of sadness in their eyes before they all smiled. "Not a problem Tommy. It's never going to be a problem." Wilbur hummed. Tommy looked to his best friend who had his hand stretched out for him and smiled, taking his hand in his own. He was the paler and younger of the two but he never minded. Tubbo was protective of him, and He was protective of Tubbo. And that's the way it was. His safety was around him, walking beside him. Talking, laughing, and making the stupidest of jokes. 
And for the first time in a long time, Tommy felt himself genuinely smile. He knew his best friend's eyes were on him, none of them had seen him smile like this in so long. He was happy. They were happy he was happy.
Maybe drowning wasn't so bad, as long as he knew he had help beside him to bring him up when he couldn't breathe.
They were his lifeguards. And he was their friend.

1635 Words.
Started 10/13/2020, Finished 10/13/2020