A Time To Love | Spencer Reid

Chapter 28-Second Chances

You would never fully recover. The grief lasted a long time. The girls and everyone checked up on you as much as they could as you tried to push them away. You both needed support and they were there.

Every morning you would walk past the guest bedroom you planned would be your nursery. All the sketches and diagrams you made were crumpled up in some corner of the apartment. You finally had enough and closed the door. Sighing loudly as you did. Spencer saw you from the living room and walked up to hug you. It was hard.

You returned to work just shy of a month later. The case you worked involved children. What a way to be brought back. They all watched you both closely. You both knew they would need you on this case so you tried your best to keep your cool.

When you lost the latest victim, a little girl, Spencer lost it. When you uncovered the body at the house he threw whatever was near him and punched the wall. Derek called you over into the other room after he was unsuccessful in his attempt to calm him down. You ran in and clipped your gun to your holster and hugged him. He tried to push you off him but you held on tighter. You shushed him and rubbed his arm. He calmed down and hugged back, apologizing for his actions.

Hotch inevitably kicked him off the case. He also benched you until it was over for "your own safety" he would explain. You rolled your eyes as he packed you and Spencer into a squad car and ordered the patrolmen to take you both back to the BAU.

No words were exchanged in the car other than your hand making its way to his.

After they caught the unsub you were both in Hotch's office. He offered numbers of therapists. When he finally dismissed you, Spencer shot up and ran out of the room.

  "I'm so sorry y/n." He hugged you again.

-5 months later-

Spencer almost relapsed. He went in a downward spiral and when you found out you confronted him. You found a bottle in the apartment and when he was questioned about it, he broke down. He told you he didn't use it he just had it. You held him close and that was the night you both decided on therapy.

You attended to the same therapist for over a month and it helped. You both expressed your feelings on this loss and she recommended some grieving techniques and how to move forward.

5 months didn't seem like a long time but you both finally came to terms with what happened. You were able to comfortably return to work and there were no more outbursts. JJ and Emily visited every week to help you lift your spirits and let you know they were there. The door to the planned nursery was open and stayed that way.

You both still wanted to be parents. You had a long and hard conversation one night on whether or not you wanted to try again. You still wanted to have kids but you didn't know if Spencer's mind had changed. You didn't want to jump right into bed and try again so you started off with the conversation. He said he still wanted kids.

  That night you both started slow. The tension was a bit awkward but you eventually warmed up and kept it vanilla.

  After he cleaned you up, you fell asleep in his arms. He held you tightly, making sure you were okay after you repeatedly told him you were.

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Spencer turned 29 2 weeks later. For his birthday, Garcia surprised him at work with a cake. It was one you had helped pick out the previous night. He made a wish before blowing out the ridiculous amount of candles and everyone cheered. You kissed him.

After work, he drove you to the apartment. During the ride you started to lightly tease him. He kept looking over and smirking. After awhile he got annoyed and threatened to pull the car over. That's when you grabbed his thigh and slowly inched it upward. He licked his lips.