【45】Goodbyes

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If I'd looked like a hooker upon arriving, I most surely felt like one when I came out of Lex's room

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If I'd looked like a hooker upon arriving, I most surely felt like one when I came out of Lex's room. The quick, rough, deprived of tenderness fuck against the wall had left me used, degraded. I wasn't blaming it on Lex, though, as I'd been the one insisting on it being like this.

Had I cooperated or asked, I was certain Lex would have carried me to the bed and made sweet love to me, buying my forgiveness with kisses and affection. But I wasn't ready for this. The idea of tender intimacy with him felt wrong, still too disturbed to want any part of it.

The remnants of our brutal embrace had been dripping down my thigh as I'd stayed leaning against the door, trying to calm down. It had been an unwelcome reminder of how broken we were. The traces of blood on the wet towel I'd used had been a proof we'd never had sex this roughly, this harshly before. Unknowingly, he'd physically hurt me for the first time. And I'd let him. I'd wanted him to hurt me, to keep going. I was damaged, body and soul, my intimacy bruised and my heart aching.

As I made my way back to the main area of the apartment, I wondered what everyone must have thought of what they'd witnessed. I had been too hurt and preoccupied to be subtle in any way, and it was more than obvious that I'd never known about Lex's ex-wife, and that I had taken it very poorly. To my surprise, the place was nearly empty. Everyone was gone but Juliet and her mother. They were both putting on their coats, about to leave. Lex was in the kitchen, making it spotless and tidy again.

There was something malicious, almost sadistic in Mrs. Coleman's eyes when our gazes met. Clenching my jaw, I swallowed all the things I wanted to tell the harpy, determined not to show how badly she'd hurt me.

"Oh, you're leaving?" I asked as I joined them, despising the faint trembling of my voice.

"Yes, we need to get back to our hotel. Our flight back home is early tomorrow," Juliet explained, hooking her scarf around her neck.

"Is no one staying in the spare bedrooms?"

She glimpsed at her brother, who was wiping the counter energetically. "Lex doesn't like having people in his personal space. I mean, some people he seems to tolerate," she added, giving me a friendly smile. Her tone was compassionate, and I was reminded they'd all witnessed my utter distress. What a great first impression I'd made...

Meeting Lex's family couldn't have gone worse.

He came back, apparently done with the kitchen, and stood next to me. His mother was as haughty as ever, but she avoided his gaze in a way that lacked the fearlessness she'd shown so far. Had something happened while I was away?

"Well, thank you, Lex, for taking us in for the evening," Juliet declared.

"I wasn't going to let you out in the hallway."

"I guess not, no. I'm sorry for... the turn of events."

"You're not the one who should apologize," Lex retorted, glaring at their mother.

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