OMEGA - TaeKook

thirty five

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The difference between school and at his parents home is a tad too big. Going from romantically kissing in the butterfly garden to barely talking to one another is a bit harsh but Jungkook can't help it. He just silently dances along to all the steps that are taught. It's been two days since the weekend and he feels torn. he feels weak but even more than before. The weekend away really messed with his head, he loved it as long as it lasted but now he hates all he did. he's mad at himself for not having the guts to go and talk to Taehyung, sad Taehyung doesn't talk to him. Unsure if he even wants Taehyung to talk to him. He's unsre about everything, mainly Taehyung.

His eyes slide to the side where he sees the omega dancing. It makes him miss the feeling of safety he feels around the shorter. He likes who he was when they were, even now he still likes that version of himself better but he can't get himself to allow that. His mind is doing things on it's own, mainly telling him weak he's been.

He's a bit startled their eyes meet and quickly looks away. Cursing himself for being a coward. No matter what he does he's allowing himself to be led by the crushing fear of weakness. If he chooses Taehyung he'll feel like a failed and weak alpha, if he doesn't he's a coward thus weak. He suppresses the urge to groan and focuses on the dancing, he needs to pass this class so he can't let himself be distracted.

After class he's quick to take off, not only so he can avoid Taehyung but he also agreed to meet with Jimin. Once he and Jimin are seated in Jimin's home.

"Jungkook can I ask you something?" Jimin is careful, he knows he and Jungkook are friends but he's also very aware of the fact that there is still a lot beneath the surface that the taller doesn't want him to see. He doesn't mean to pry but he really wants to know what's been going on, cause he cares and yes, cause he's curious as well.

The taller hums.

"What's going on between you and Taehyung?"

Jungkook's eyes snap to Jimin, he hadn't expected the question. He shouldn't be surprised by it, after all he would've asked too if things were different. Though he had hoped Jimin would leave it.

"I don't mean to pry it's just that you took him home, you guys kissed and you are... different... around him."

Jungkook looks down at his hands, unsure of what to say now. He doesn't want to reveal what has been going on with them, and how things are inside his head. Jimin's image about him cannot change, he likes it the way it is now. And sure, he's considered telling the truth to Kinjo but Jimin? No, he wouldn't even be able to get the words past his lips if he wanted to.

"Nothing." Jungkook says before realising his mistake. "At least, nothing worth mentioning." It's obvious that something is going on, the shorter has seem them kiss, so 'nothing' is a lie. Though now he did admit that something is there.

"You know you can trust me right?"

He shrugs. He doesn't want to talk about this, he doesn't want Jimin to find out what Taehyung's preferences are, he can't have him thinking that he bottoms for an omega.

"Jimin, what makes a good alpha?" He asks, not only to change the topic but also cause he's curious to what his fellow alpha thinks.

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe like a caring one? Who protects omega's and makes sure to work hard?"

He nods his head silently. Feeling a bit uncomfortable with the turn of events. He doesn't like Jimin think about what is going on with Taehyung, cause that means he's paying attention and will catch on to any little hint that is given to him. He abruptly gets up. "I need to go." Without waiting for a reply he rushes out of there, knowing it'll only make things more suspicious but he just really wants to get out.

He ignores the texts and calls from Jimin and makes his way home, knowing he'll have some explaining to do later but right now he barely understands what's going on, he can't seem to figure himself out. Much less without Taehyung by his side. He used to know what he likes and dislikes but now everything in his head is messed up. He doesn't want things to be difficult, he liked the way things were and now he's drowning in self hatred and fear.

Once at home he makes his way upstairs, deep in thought but also a bit unsure what to think about. He notices he's tense and short of breath, he feels like his head is going to explode but there's nothing he can do about. He wants to feel safe like he did back at his parents home, like he did with Taehyung. The entire world seems so unsafe. School feel unsafe, the streets feel unsafe, Jimin feels unsafe and so does Kinjo. He hates everything about what's going on yet he doesn't know how to change it.

Entering his apartment he freezes as he hears voices, not just any but awfully familiar voices as well. Those of his brother and his boyfriend. They're talking to Kinjo, about god knows what. How did they even get in here? Did Kinjo just let them in? He cruses as he realises he left a spare key at home, they must've taken that one.

What did they say? They can't just spill everything about him to Kinjo, there's still so much the omega doesn't know, still so much he isn't ready to tell.

He steps back outside, silently shutting the door before leaning against it. Grabbing his phone his fingers move over the buttons in a hurry before holding it up against his ear.

"Jungkook?"

He can't even say anything. He's trying too hard not to burst into tears.

"Jungkook? Jungkook where are you, I'm coming over."

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