Susan Grays (book 1)/ The tale of trust

Chapter 23: Her story

Susan had stood in front of the big window in Clark's office. The freezing wind which was coming from the hole in the window was licking her face, but she was paying it no heed. 

Stars were shining brightly in the clear sky and were reflecting by the white snow on the peaks. Just below, the flat frozen surface of the lake, trapped between high mountains could be seen. Her mind was off. An odd emptiness had fallen on her mind. It seemed The beautiful silent nature had been enchanted her. The world was turning, careless to whatever that was happening around it. 

"Sus!" Bishop's calm voice brought her out of her trance and rattled the silenced air, but she didn't turn. She stood still watching the mesmerizing scenery. Bishop walked closer slowly. "It's time to leave." He said while watching the silent woman in front of him. Something was wrong with her.

"He talked about killing people like they are less valuable than dirt for him." Said Susan after a moment. "Taking lives. How can someone talk about it too easy?" 

Bishop knew that she was talking about Clark's last words. "We can't do anything about it, Sus." He said and placed his big hand on her shoulder. "That's the way of the world. They are people like him out there, killing as wish. That's why the world needs us. You said this so much time. Do you remember?"

"We kill people as well, Tom." Said Susan, still not taking her eyes off of the view in front of her. The endless night.

Bishop grabbed both of her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "We are different, Sus. Remember that we don't kill unless we have no chance and besides those we kill are not innocent people." Said Bishop firmly.

Susan was staring at him with dull eyes. "But still they have lives. Some of them have those who love them and are waiting for them in their homes." She said.

"It's their own choice. We can't let them ruin this world. But we give those who are worthy, another chance. That's why you let Zaytsev help us. That's why you let Eliot Piers go. You are different." Said Bishop.

Susan smirked bitterly and released herself from Bishop's grip and looked out again. She folded her arms and rubbed her arms, trying uselessly to warm up herself. Bishop could see a shade of dark memories on her face.

"I'm different." She said with a hardly audible voice. "I'm telling this about myself for long. The only word that is true for me and I hate it the most. I was always different."

Bishop stared at her, worried. "I was five years old when I commit a crime for the first time." She said. She was drowned in her memories. Bishop was surprised. It was the first time she was talking about her past. "Jim Grays was not always a criminal as he is now. Once, he was a businessman owning his company. He married my mother with his heart full of love. They were a happy couple until my father began his dark life. Those days my parents were still living with each other although they had no stable relationship. They had quarrels most of the time, for my mother was seeing his crimes and couldn't stand them, but they were still living with each other, because deep inside they loved each other. When I saw my mother crying after one of their contentions, I went and talked to her seriously. I convinced her that my delicate spirit is suffering and I can't live as happily as I deserve and I'm on the verge of depression. I also secretly called my grandfather, Admiral Bruce Barton, and explained him the situation although with a little bit of exaggeration. He called his daughter immediately and told her to divorce as soon as possible and sent a lawyer for my mother. Two weeks later my parents divorced. I never will forget the look of hatred that my father gave me that day in the court. He blamed me for what has happened." Said Susan and turned to Bishop. She looked miserable. 

Bishop really didn't know how to react. It was hard for him to believe what she had just told him and he had never seen Susan that vulnerable. 

"I think about it a lot these days. My parents were idiots. They loved each other. Maybe if I had not done what I did, Jim would never become a criminal as he is now. Maybe my mother could stop him. Maybe I could have a family and I was not here."