What Would It Be? (COMPLETED)

#39

#WhatWouldItBe

I couldn't believe how a simple land of yesterday can be this gloomy and melancholy. I've known that this place were never been a happy place, in spite of the words they keep saying they will be in a better place after passing.

Maybe God was with me because he hid the sun behind those dark clouds kaya hindi masyadong mainit kahit manatili ako dito sa tapat.

All I can read was his name and the dates below it. Matalahib na rin ang mga grass na inaapakan ko, hindi pa naman kasi Halloween season kaya wala pang nagbabalak naglinis.

Pero kahit na, I can still see the tomb in front of me. Iyong buhay na nagbigay ng buhay sa akin, was inside for how many years.

Up until now, I can't believe na kung kailan kami huling nagkita makalipas ang ilang taon ay iyon na rin pala ang huli.

"I've been living the dream that I thought I couldn't reach before, pa.." bulong ko sa hangin.

Is he here? Hindi naman ako matatakot. Presumably was there's a lot of lost ghosts in here, watching me away from here. Perhaps standing beside the tomb or they are sitting on it.

"Everything is okay already.. I got the title, I'n working in a big firm, mama's okay, may ipon na ako. But I think, there's still a gap to fill inside me."

Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako nagpunta dito. Dahil siguro hindi na ako masyadong makabisita. Maraming ginagawa, marami pa rin naman but I just think immediately na pumunta ako rito. Just for lunch time.

Babalik din ako sa trabaho mamaya.

"Nale's still asking about the money you left for me. Akala niya ata hindi ko ginagamit dahil sa issue natin but.." I clasps my palm behind my neck. "I used some of it when I passed the BAR. Siguro ginawa ko iyon para kahit papaano, masabi ko na you were a part of what I pulled through. Kahit na alam mo na.. may bad blood sa atin noong meron ka pa."

My mind's trying to recall the day we knew he got into an accident but there's no even a fragment of information coming. Siguro dahil kasama ko si Trent noon, at nangako ako na kakalimutan ko na lahat ng mga araw na kasama ko siya?

Siguro nga.

"But what matters now is.. I'm happy. Mama's happy. Everyone's happy around me. Sana masaya ka na rin diyan. Ang weird lang na kung kausapin kita e parang okay pa tayo noong huli tayong nagkita.."

But I shrugs, "Pero hayaan mo na... Wala ka na.. dapat wala na rin akong galit sa'yo."

When my eyes found one gravedigger, I pulled myself up again. Ngumiti ako at pinagpag ang ibabaw ng nitso. There's flower everywhere, galing sa bulaklak na dala ko kanina.

"Guide me the way you should've done before, okay?" my mind's clashing if I should say I love you to him but I'm already outside the cemetery, and no words escaped my mouth just like that.

***

"Atty. Raval!"

Agad din akong bumalik sa firm dahil marami pa talaga akong gagawin. Weekend na sa susunod na araw at pakiramdam ko wala ring saysay dahil dumami complaint na pumapasok sa firm.

I scroll my eyes just to look whoever called me. The usual girl in front desk is waving her hand on me kaya siguro siya ang tumawag sa akin.

"Yes?"

"Ah. Punta raw po kayo sa office ni Atty. Arcilla. Hinahanap po kayo kanina pero binilinan na lang po niya kami nung sinabi namin na umalis po kaya."

Kinagat ko ang labi at marahan na tumango. Why is he asking me to come over? May problema na naman ba?

"Bakit daw?"