What Would It Be? (COMPLETED)

#30

#WhatWouldItBe

It is somehow true that when you feel nothing but happiness, time starts to tick faster than ever.

Kaya pala sobrang tagal ng oras noong nasa Law school pa ako, because majority of the days... hindi ako masaya sa dami ng pwedeng gagawin.

But now, everything paid off and I couldn't believe that it's been a year ever since I got that Atty. in my name.

And I couldn't believe, too, that we're almost six or seven years together? No, siya lang sa akin but doesn't matter anymore.

As long as I'm happy and he is, too, that's what matters now.

Kararating lang namin sa Isabela, pauwi sa amin. I have no idea kung anong plano sa akin ni Trent but when he told me that we'll be leaving for Isabela, agad din naman akong pumayag.

Tahimik na ang paligid, that's what Isabela feels like when you're not in Manila to witness the night. Malamig. Walang masakit sa ilong na mga usok. Everything feels so province-y that you don't want to go back anymore.

"Trent.." tawag ko sa tabi ko.

Nakaupo lang kami sa labas ng bahay namin. Kami lang naman ang lumuwas kaya sinabi ko na dumito na lang kami kaysa sa hotel.

Thank God he agreed. "Hmm?"

Napapikit ako. The sudden anticipation and guilt is killing and eating me all up. "I feel like.. everything I've learned is going to waste.."

Sumikip bigla ang kapit niya sa akin, "Bakit ka nag-iisip niyan?"

I sighed. "Halos isang taon na rin simula nang makapasa ako pero hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako kagaya nina Nale na tapos na sa practice nila."

Pakiramdam ko, kaya lang hindi na nagsasalita ang mga tao sa paligid ko tungkol sa naging desisyon ko ay kasi natatakot sila na I will file a suitcase on them if they tried to meddle with my decision?

Kasi kung kaya nila, dapat matagal na nila akong kinausap. Na I better start practicing, na I should not waste everything I've paid for law school..

It all starts to sink in now.. and I'm drowning. "I'm starting to feel worthless now.."

Mariin siyang umiling, "Shh... don't say that. Ano naman kung ayaw mo pa talaga?"

"E kas—"

"It's your life, baby. Ikaw naman ang maghihirap kung sakali so don't try to think about what they think. Huwag mong hayaan na idikta nila kung ano dapat mong gawin.."

Hindi ako nakasagot. "You're already a lawyer, matanda ka na.. you can do anything when you want to.."

"Paano kung dapat pala nagprapractice na ako? But I'm losing the chance?"

"You can't lose something that's been living in you for so many years, Stefan." ngumiti siya. "You're once an attorney, and you'll always be an attorney."

Ngumiwi ako. "You're just saying that because you have no choice but to appease me. Kasi boyfriend kita?"

"No.." humalakhak siya. "Sige nga, nagpractice ka nga pero hindi ka pa pala masaya sa punto na 'yon, sinong mahihirapan kung sakali?"

Matagal bago nakasagot. "M-me?"

"Exactly. Kaya don't pressure yourself just because people told you so. Live your life the way you wanted it to be." bahagya niyang bulong.

"Okay po.." tumango ako at tumawa. "What are we going to do for tomorrow. Dapat natutulog na tayo ngayon.."

Hindi siya kaagad nakasagot. When I looked at him, he's just staring at the night sky, wondering something I didn't know.