Picking You

It'll Be Fine

I turned to see Blake and Tyler walking up to us. Tyler smiled at me but Blake paid no attention to me, it's like I wasn't even there. Before anyone got the chance to speak, a car drove fast into the compound and parked right in front of us. Mira and her brother, Brandon who flirted with me last year stepped down from the car. "Was I the last again?", Mira poured as she came forward to hug us. Brandon smiled and greeted the guys before turning to me and winking at me. This didn't go past Blake as I saw his muscles tense as he glared at Brandon. Mira, sensing the atmosphere started pushing her brother into the car. Brandon laughed completely ignorant of the situation as he turned to me, "Hey Rue. That sweater looks daring on you" then he smiled and entered his car.

I looked down at my black turtleneck sweater confusedly and I looked up to see Blake stalking off in an angry manner.

"He's obviously still in love with you", Sam said during our truth sessions. "Yeah. He was totally jealous when Brandon complimented your sweater", Jess said as she hugged her fluffy pillow. I just sat there looking at them talk and digesting everything they were saying. "But he barely glanced at me today. Not even a nod", I said gloomily. "It's a phase, Rue. The hurt phase. It'll pass don't worry and if he decides to be a preeq and never forgive you then that's fine because so many other guys want you", Mira said shrugging. "No way, Mira! No one is dating Rue asides my brother. They're made for each other", Sam said folding her hands and raising her nose. "I second that", Jess stated. "I know. I'm just trying to say that...", Mira started explaining while I stood up and left the room.

I walked through the door feeling the fresh air blow through my robe. I hugged my robe tight as I made my way to the golf course. I stood on a spot and gazed into the sky.

"Hey Blake. Did you know Brandon was here? He came to drop Miranda", Jess said. "Really?", He asked excitedly. "Yeah and he wouldn't stop flirting with Rue", Sam smirked. Blake's face fell immediately as his eyes darted to me, "Really?". I smiled cheekily and nodded while blushing. He muttered, "He's not even that good-looking" before stalking off in anger. We laughed as Sam nudged me, "Nothing like making Blake jealous".

I smiled slightly as more memories flooded in,

"You're getting it all wrong, Rue", Jess kept laughing at me. "I honestly feel like I'm doing pretty well", I said smugly. "You've hit the ball into the bush like 10 times", Jack said flatly. "Fine I'll get it this time", I said I focused on the ball, legs wide open, back bent forward, eyes on the ball and whoosh! "What the hell, Rue!", Tyler yelled as the ball hit his head. Everyone started laughing as Miranda choked out, "How did the ball even fly backwards?".

I was so terrible, I thought to myself.

Jack walked up to me holding the stick, "Here, let me show you". He positioned my body and put his hands on top of mine on the stick. As we were about to hit the ball, someone yelled from behind. "Get your hands off my girlfriend you bozo", Blake yelled as he approached us. "You done sulking?", I smirked as he walked up to us and shoved Jack playfully. He picked me up and walked over to the bush throwing me in. "Hey", I screamed as he yelled back at everyone. "I threw the ball!", He said as everyone laughed uncontrollably.

"Took you hours to get the leaves out of your hair", a voice said. Feeling a bit startled, I was compelled to turn around but I didn't need to because I already knew who it was. "Yeah", I said softly as he came to stand beside me. "I'm glad you're okay", he said. I knew for a fact that he wasn't talking about the time that he threw me into the bush but about the attack I had a week ago. "Happy New Year by the way. How did you spend it?", he asked putting his hands in his pockets. "At a deserted park with Bri. You?", i asked to which he responded, "In my balcony staring at the sky". I turned to him, determined to explain everything to him, "Blake I..." but instead, he cut me to ask his own question, "Why his house?". At first I looked completely puzzled so he repeated the question again, this time turning to look at me, "Why his house, Rue? You could've gone to your apartment, Skylar's place even the ice cream parlor. Why Jordan's house?". I stood there dumbfounded because I had never thought about the question or even imagined anyone would ask me that.

Why did I go to his house?

"Because I knew that he'd ask less questions or try to comfort me less than others. I was sad and vulnerable and...", I said trying to make sense of it in my head. "And you knew he was the only one who wouldn't try to push you away if you tried making a pass?", Blake asked. I immediately shook my head, "No no I just". "Do you love him?", Blake asked. My eyes widened at the question. I knew this question would either save or ruin our relationship so I had to think twice before saying anything.

"Blake you know that I only love you", I said, my eyes started to get teary. "Then why?", he snapped, "Why? Why didn't you think about that when you went to his house in a vulnerable state? When you fucking kissed him Evans! Why didn't you think about how I would feel? If you love me, you wouldn't have done that". I shook my head continuously as tears ran down my face, "Blake please listen to me. I didn't mean to, I just... I just. Please forgive me". He looked away cleaning his tears, "I need time and space to figure things out first. I need space so I came to tell you that you should please not try to text or call me for now. I need time". My eyes lowered to the ground as I slowly nodded. He turned to leave but he stopped and said, "Also, I can't promise anything. We're going to be in different states and I don't think I can bring my heart to trust..". "This is it,right? You're breaking up with me?", I found myself asking in fear that he was and in hope that he wasn't but my fear was confirmed when he nodded slightly muttering, "Yeah. I'm sorry Rue". Then he walked off.

As the sound of his footsteps faded, I fell to the grass and little by little the tears poured out. I sat there for what felt like a 20 minutes before I felt another presence. She sat on the grass beside me and wrapped her arms around me. "It'll be fine, Rue. It'll be just fine", Sam said as she hugged me tightly in silence.

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Blue is over!!! 😭😭😭
For now...