Statehouse Headcanons

pets pets pets-

- Alaska has an American Eskimo dog named Hana

- Arizona has a bearded dragon named Lizzy

- California owns a black cat named Luna (lol weeb)

- Nevada has a snake named Ari and a lizard named Slimmers

- Florida honestly will just treat any street animals as a pet (and will always name them after a Disney character), so he just always keeps some food on him for the animals he finds (cats, mice, gators, you name it)

As for actual pets, he owns a single mouse named Gus.

- No one can tell me that New Mexico doesn't own a crackhead ass chihuahua that only behaves around him. The other states fear that creature (her name is Macha btw)

- Colorado has a guinea pig named Stripe (South Park who), and a good 50% of his happiness comes from this hamster

- Hawaii has walked past so many people selling turtles illegally it's a miracle he's only adopted 2. He named them Lilo and Koi

..........................................

That's all fow twoday uwuwuwu

God kill me-