𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐇|✔︎

𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑦-𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 : 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒?

༒

"My Pinterest wasn't working for a funny quote so let's just pretend that this moon ☽ is name Jerry. Say hi."

༒

| ONE WEEK LATER |

• Bank balance : 122 dollars •

Guess I have to make the most out of the last money I have left with me.

What even am I supposed to do with it?

I have no clue.

I'm already stuck in a mind conflict of overwhelming yet unfriendly emotions filling my heart at the moment, since I was so busy with myself, trying to convince myself into believing the fact that I'm actually coming back to this place for the second time in the same week that was officially announced to be the worst week of my entire life, literally making me the biggest hypocrite of the world because I betrayed my own promise.

I feel sorry for the younger me.

Yay me.

It's like no matter how much I try to avoid it, I always find myself being pulled towards this piece of land that was so fucking annoying me to the core, yet was almost like a guilty pleasure because it just proved that I wasn't up for treating myself in a healthy manner. This imbecile place, filled with many debates and voices fighting in my head, that reminded me of so many hours of torture and guts to actually even go inside for that matter, and here I am, the infamous Laura Stevenson who's breaking every promise she had ever made to her baby self in the past.

That too, at this point, the shame was not even visible.

Maybe I legit deserved this, since I don't deserve anything else.

I especially failed you Agatha out of anyone else, I can't believe you actually thought of me as a person to not cause trouble.

I'm the villain anyways.

Maybe this fact just adds onto for me getting a bigger reason to hurt myself.

I hope Peter never finds out about this after trying to recoup our lost connection thanks to my encounter with a certain someone many weeks ago, cause if he does find out about this, he will send an army behind me. Or as claimed by Agatha if she even herself finds out about this, they both will have my head before even the gods above do. Not like they would actually care, but oh well.

This is my secret, which no one would know.

Not even Agatha.

Maybe you would know mama and baba.

That is again, if you're even watching me there.

Are you?

How would I know...never mind.

But looking back at this place brought a lot of moments of bitter nostalgia in me that was obviously never welcomed into my heart in the first place, as the people in it also seemed way too familiar after such a long time. Thousands and thousands of bad thoughts and reminiscing of the tougher times I had before was all coming back to me like a slap, and it made my stomach twist and turn inside me, almost as if my younger self would look at with so much disappointment. And now I was debating on whether to go back there while I'm literally standing in front of it, yet knowing that I wanted to do it to prove myself and everyone else that yes, this is what I deserve.