Army Strong II- Through Hell & Back

28)Feel it

The next day we were allowed to go home and get a few days off, to get our minds ready and also to warn our families. I felt bad for Cooper but I didn't give it much thought. 

Bruce lost it when I told him during lunch that I was going to deploy again. 

-You gotta be fucking kidding me...-He said and then looked at me pissed.-You're going again?! This is what? Your third time? Do you have some kind of death wish?! Luck doesn't last forever, Elizabeth! 

-No luck, all skill-I tried to ease it out but he was in no mood for jokes.

-All skill?! You barely made it back!-He raised his voice.- And when you did, you weren't yourself for months! And now that things were finally returning to normality you're going to deploy again?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!

-THIS IS THE LIFE, BRUCE!-I screamed back. Mary sighted and, for her, I tried to calm myself down a bit.-Don't you remember what it's like? This is the life I chose! What are you?! A fucking stranger? You've walked in my shoes! 

-That's exactly why I am against this! Ellie...-He grabbed both my hands.-Please, don't go... 

-I'm going, Bruce.-I got up.-I will always go back... It's easier if you just get used to it. 

-Get out of my house.-He said, looking down. 

-Bruce!-Mary was upset. 

-GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!-He looked me dead in the eyes. I can't lie, it did hit me right in the feelings but I didn't let it show.

-You got it, boss.-I slammed the keys to his house on the table in front of him, grabbed my phone, a jacket and headed to the door.

-Ellie...-Mary followed me.-Don't listen to him... Stay... 

-It's okay, Mary.-I gave her a reassuring smile.-I get it. He needs some time to process. I'll be back and if by then he still wants me gone, then I'll leave. 

-Where will you go?

-Don't worry about me...-I giggled.-Snake Eater, remember? 

-Right...-She smiled.-Guess you've been through worse.

-Yeah, I think I'll manage. Stay safe, beautiful.-I left.

I didn't really have anywhere else to be. And my apartment was the last place on Earth where I'd go. Too many memories, too much history in those walls. It was actually for sale. I hadn't told anyone but... I just couldn't go back there. 

I ended up on this random bar, drinking alone. I was having a pretty good time on my own, just thinking about Africa and Cooper and just everything. I was in a good place, mentally. It was like that mission gave me something to look forward to. 

Then, I got a text message on my phone. It was Vargas, asking if I wanted to grab a beer. I texted back. I know I shouldn't but what the hell? My future was pretty uncertain. If I was to die, I didn't want to die with regrets. So I texted him where I was. About half an hour later, he sat besides me, in silence, looking pretty blue. I looked at him and then called the lady behind the counter.

-Get this man a beer, darling. He sure looks like he need it.-I mocked him. He smiled. She gave him a beer. He put it down at once.-Jeez... That bad, huh?-He nodded.-Let me guess, the fam didn't take it so well.

-Spot on!-He finally spoke.

-Well, join the fucking club!-I laughed.-Tell you what, couple more beers and you won't even fucking care!-I laughed.-Believe me!

-Yeah, I see you got yourself all worked out over there!-He laughed as well. 

-I don't know what you're talking about, Private Vargas. I am very professional! 

-Very! Of course!-He laughed again.-I like you better when you're drinking...

-That's 'cause we haven't gotten to the crying. Yet.-I joked. 

-Everything's better than having you up my ass about every single thing I do or say! 

-That's 'cause I believe you can be exceptional. Why be average when you can be great? You got potential but then... You're just so fucking stupid sometimes!-I laughed. He rolled his eyes. 

-Are you done offending me?-He asked in a playful way.

-Oh...-I took another sip of my beer.-Not even close, handsome! 

We had an amazing night. We weren't drunk but the booze was definitely making us lighter. I had a great time with him but then, the bar was about to close. It should be about 4am. 

-C'mon!-Vargas said.-I'll take you home.

-Oh, no. Daddy kicked me out-I joked.

-Really?

-Yeah... Bruce..

-He was really pissed then!

-Oh boy! He did! 

-But wait...-He got a little concerned.-If Bruce kicked you out, where are you gonna rack out?

-Well, honestly I was just thinking about going back to the headquarters. 

-Oh no! You're coming with me! You can sleep on the couch. Promise I won't disturb you.

-You know what?-I knew that was a bad idea.-You only live once. Fuck it! Let's go.

We both got into Vargas' car and he drove us back to his apartment. He then took us inside and fixed the couch for me to sleep.

-I'll get you a t-shirt and some shorts for you to sleep in.-He said.

-Thanks.-I smiled. God, I knew everything was just a bad idea but... The alcohol made me get a little too loose. I took off my clothes, lighted up a cigarette and laid on the couch in my underwear. 

-I got you a bottle of water as...-As he walked in the living room, he dropped everything he was holding and just looked at me, surprised. He didn't know what to do.-I... Jones... 

I smiled and got up. I then picked up the things he had dropped. He was still there, frozen, just looking forward, stiff, cheeks turning red. 

-Michael... Chill. Here...-I put on the shirt he had brought me.-Better? 

He looked at me from top to bottom and then right in the eyes. I could see his breathing getting faster. 

-Don't do this, Jones...-He said. 

-I didn't do anything, Michael...-I smiled and bit my lip. -Yet...

-Elizabeth!-He almost growled at me. I raised my hands in the air.

-Fine..-I turned around to leave but as I took the first step he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me to him, holding me from behind. My heart suddenly started beating really fast.

-If I start now...-He said in my ear, in this threatening way.-I won't be able to stop.

-Maybe I don't want you to stop... 

He then turned me around, grabbed my legs and lift me up against the wall. I wrapped my legs around him. He looked at my lips for a second almost as if he was trying to talk himself out of it and I grabbed the hair in the back of his head and kissed him. He held me with one arm and put his other hand around my neck, aggressively, pushing me back against the wall. 

-This is wrong, Ellie... I... We...-He was trying to put some sense into us but there was a fire burning in both of us for so long... It was undeniable. I didn't say anything. I just bit my lip and gave him a naughty smile, looking him right in the eyes. He then grabbed me, took me to the bedroom and threw me to bed. 

The rest... Well, use your imagination.