Army Strong II- Through Hell & Back

7)Underdog

It had been 6 months. I used to sleep with a gun under my pillow, afraid someone would come and try to silence me but everything was so quiet it was annoying.

I met this guy. His name was Greg. He didn't know anything about my military life. To be honest, at first he was just a fix... I was going crazy and I needed someone to distract me from my misery. He just happened to be there. However, with time, I became attached to him. I didn't love him, he was more of a fuck buddy for me but I did like the idea of having a normal life, with someone to share my feelings and my thoughts... Even if he was the only one sharing.

-Honey, I'm home!-He said as he got inside my house, which was my mom's house. My instinct lead me to search for my gun under my pillow but it wasn't there anymore. He walked inside the bedroom and kissed me.

-How was work?-I asked him. He threw himself over the bed.

-Exhausting! This client today... God! He...-He kept talking but I couldn't hear anything he was saying. Every day was the exact same. He would come home and tell me all his boring stories from work, as if I wasn't bored enough from my normal every day kind of life. Still, I asked him every day. My intention was not to hurt him.  As I looked inside his eyes, my mind was wondering what the guys back at the base were doing. You see, I hated the system but I loved the army with all my being. It was all I knew.-By the way!-He touched my hand, snapping me out of my daydream.-Will you get us some milk?

-Oh, sure!-I got up and left. Thank god he gave me a reason to leave. I needed some air.

I lighted up a smoke and just roamed the streets. All this normality didn't feel right. This routine didn't feel right. This feeling of being safe, this comfort zone I was living in felt like hell. I was craving the adrenaline of having bullets flying over my head like an addict. Finally, I reached the supermarket. As I was walking towards the milk section, I passed through the cereals and it reminded me of my mom. We had had a pretty big fight there... Over a fucking box of cereals... I'd give everything to see her face again. My eyes filled with tears as the thought of her crossed my mind. And then suddenly, it hit me. This system had really taken everything from me. Even my chance to revenge my mom's murder.

I gave up on the milk and just left, empty handed. I needed to empty my head. If I had learnt anything with everything that happened was that my mind doesn't work when there's too much noise, too many thoughts, too many emotions. I went back home.

-Where's the milk?-Greg asked me. I went to the bedroom and grabbed my gym bag.

-I forgot it.

-What do you mean you forgot it?! You went out to get it!-He said confused.-Where are you going?-He grabbed me by the shoulders as I was leaving the bedroom.-What's wrong?

-I'm going to the ring. -Boxing had become my escape.

-I thought we agreed you wouldn't fight anymore!-Greg was not particularly a fan of my hobby.

-And I thought we agreed you would keep your nose out of my business. Get out of my way...-I tried to answer as calmly as I could. I really didn't mean to hurt his feelings.

-Your business is my business! We had an agreement!-He insisted. I was starting to lose my shit.

-Look, are you gonna get out of my way or are we gonna have a situation?

-We are gonna have a situation! What are you gonna do? Beat me?-He was screaming, truly upset.

-No. I'm not. I don't need to. You're gonna move and you're gonna move now. Don't push my buttons, Greg. You have no idea who I am...

-You keep telling me that shit! We've been together for 4 months now! If I don't know who you are what are we doing together?!

-We are wasting my fucking time!-I told him and pushed him away aggressively. He looked at me as if his heart was breaking.-Don't wait for me for dinner.-I said and left. Now I was even more pissed off. One more thing weighting on my mind.

I had found this boxing gym, built by Veterans. I felt so good there, almost as if I was back at the base. I had been boxing for about 6 months now, every day until Greg decided he didn't want me to fight because people looked at him weirdly when I was walking next to him. Something about how people thought he was the one giving me the bruises... As if he could... Anyway! I hadn't been there for over a month, but it felt as if I was finally home.

As I got to the ring, I didn't even need to say anything. Bruce, the oldest guy there, looked at me, nodded and just put me next to a bag. I didn't even put on the gloves. I hit the bag until my knuckles were bleeding. I was breathless, sweating like a damn pig but my mind was finally quiet.

-One of those days, huh?-Bruce asked me as he grabbed my hands to see the bruises.

-It's nothing, man!-I pretended to punch him, playfully.-I feel reborn!-He laughed.

-That's the point! Where have you been though? I was starting to wonder if they had finally murdered your ass!

-They wish, baby!-I laughed.-My boyfriend decided it was too manly of me to fight or whatever. He's just a pain in the ass. You gonna get me some water or?

-Why don't you just ditch the bastard?-He asked me as we moved towards the place where they had the bottles of water.-I've got a fucking list of guys who gave me their numbers to see it sent to you! The dude doesn't even know anything about...

-That's exactly what I like about him.-I interrupted him and drank some water.-I can be whoever I want to be with him. It's like a new beginning...

-Shit!-He crossed his arms and laughed in my face.-You growing softer, Jones!

-Soft my ass!-I laughed along.-Who's at the ring tonight? I'll show you how soft I am.

-I've got kids today...

-Oh, fresh blood?-He nodded affirmatively.-Perfect for a soft veteran, right?-I smiled.

-Fine! Let's see if you're that tough!-He mocked me.

-Bring it on, pops!

As I was walking towards the ring, I felt a glimpse of that adrenaline, that uncertainty, maybe even a glimpse of fear of being hurt. I was so pumped, my blood was rushing and I couldn't wait to kick some ass.

There was this guy already inside the ring. He should be about 17. You see, this gym was the place to be if you really wanted to rock bootcamp. There were a lot of kids around just wishing to be like us... and we wishing we could go back to being them! Ironic.

I looked at him from head to toe. He was all geared up already, mouthguard and all. Jim came to gear me up.

-What's up, Jones?-He started putting my gloves on.-Been gone for a while... The kid's good... Don't embarrass us!-He joked.

-I'm a walking embarrassment, Big J.-I smiled.He put on my mouthguard as well. I spit it out.-You know I like to bite!-I said loud enough for the kid to hear. Jim laughed, then grabbed my face with both of his hands, softly.

-Leave him in one piece, other than that... Destroy the son of a bitch!-He then let go of me and walked to the middle of the ring. I stretched my arms, shoulders and neck a bit.-Get it dogs!-That was the signal to start the fight.

Man, I was rusty. In the first few seconds, the damn kid hit me with a pretty strong right hook, landing right on my chin. It felt like all my teeth were about to come out. I regretted not having the mouth protection right away. I spit out blood. I looked at him and smiled like a mad man.

-Oh shit!-Bruce screamed-It's on!

I felt the rage building up inside me, the adrenaline rushing, my nervous system was beeping all over. The beast was alive once again.