The colour of devil eyes (Black Butler love story)

Chapter 19 - Despair

"What is this idiot doing?", Serena chuckled and angrily she clenched her hands into fists. Although she did not know very much about shinigamis and their procedures, she was sure that they usually did not take dead bodies with them. So what was the purpose of this strange guy? And what was the point of this ominous allusion that he had made shortly before his disappearance? Serena slowly began to suspect that this Shinigami had been hiding something from them, and it was precisely this circumstance that gave her a cold chill.

"We should go, Lady Serena.", she heard Sebastian say behind her, "We should not be discovered in this place.".

Without looking at him, Serena nodded slowly, knowing as well as he that they had to go undetected at all costs. Otherwise it would get her into too much trouble.

So they started their journey home together. Again they remained silent for most of the time, but this time it wasn't because Serena and Sebastian weren't getting on well at the moment. Rather, it was Serena's disappointment and frustration. Again and again her thoughts wandered to her little brother, who seemed to slip away from her more and more.

Every now and then, Serena felt her butler's gaze on her, but she was too disappointed and now too tired to be able to think about it any further.

Even though it was just early evening when they got back to the cottage, Serena could feel exhaustion and weariness plaguing her body. It almost seemed ridiculous to her, she had hardly done any physical activity, but she knew very well that at the moment all she wanted was to lie down in her bed. When they entered the building and Sebastian held the door open for her as usual, she looked at him briefly and sadly.

"I'll go to bed.", she said as she walked past him. His eyebrows rose gently when he gave her a questioning look.

"Should I ...", he began, but Serena knew what to say.

"I can do it alone. You can do any other things. ", she interrupted him a little bleakly. She had just had enough of everything. She didn't need a butler to run around her and do things for her that she could easily do herself.

"But don't you want any food ...", Sebastian asked further and Serena heard him gently close the front door behind her. Without turning to face him, she shook her head.

"No, I'm not hungry.", she interrupted him again. She knew this was rude, but she didn't want to attach any importance to it.

"As you wish, Lady Serena.", Sebastian said from behind her and without another word she went up the stairs to her bedroom. Almost as if in a trance she walked down the hall without paying attention to where Sebastian was or what he was doing. It was all about being alone right now.

As usual, her bedroom was cool because Serena didn't like sleeping in warm surroundings. The goose bumps that formed on her skin from the coolness when she took off her clothes, however, she hardly noticed. Her thoughts were too confused and too often the images of the dead Erchyll came to her mind.

He had taken one more chance at saving her little brother. What if Serena's ultimate goal didn't bring any new information to Hyder either? Surely she couldn't just leave him to his fate! As a big sister, she would never be able to forgive herself if she could not save him .

In her nightgown she lay tired in her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, but sleeping was still out of the question. Even though she felt drained and exhausted, she still couldn't even close her eyes.

Had she let Hyder down? Had she taken too much time so far? Could she have chosen a better way? Was it her fault that she hadn't found a single clue about him yet?