Cliché || H.S.

Chapter 51

"Lilian, I really don't think this is a good idea," Robbie's sharp voice comes over the car speaker. I pull up to the red light and close my eyes for a brief moment, inhaling deeply.

"I know that you don't think it's a good idea but I do. I'm already on my way there, I'm doing it," I argue. I slowly begin to accelerate before I'm stopped again by LA traffic. Not only am I already on my way there, I'm probably going to be late at this rate.

"Lil, hon," He sighs, "It's my job as your manager not only to get you jobs, but also to guide you through this stuff, to give you the best image possible. We've worked really hard on getting you to the place you're at, and I'd hate to see you throw it all away. I really don't think you've thought this through."

I lay on my horn as a car cuts me off, which normally I probably wouldn't do but in the confines of this tiny car it's my only release for my frustrations. "If a producer doesn't want to work with me because of this then I don't want to work with them anyways. I promise you that I have thought this through. You've known about this for approximately three weeks but I've been grappling with it for three years."

Even though I can't physically see his face, I can clearly picture his dark eyebrows furrowed, his thick fingers resting on his forehead. "I was just going to contact Warner Brothers about you signing the contract, but now I'm thinking we should wait until this all blows over before you proceed. I think you're going to get a lot of heat that you're not prepared for and you might want to sit back for a little bit."

I'm indebted to Robbie, truly, but I'm not blind to his antiquated ways, how out of touch he is with younger people. He's one of the biggest problems within the entertainment industry. "That's where you're wrong. I might get heat from people within the industry, but to be honest I don't care what they have to say. Everyone else wants something raw and honest, and that's what I'm giving them. I don't think you realize how much support I could gain because for the first time a lot of people will feel seen. I know Hollywood wants to make this some exclusive club, but being honest won't make it so suddenly everyone can steal my job."

"And what if this doesn't go your way? Have you thought about that?"

"Then I have enough money to never work another day in my life so it won't even matter. I'm pulling up to the girl's house now so I have to go. Tell Warner Bros that I'm signing," I say with finality. Robbie grunts a goodbye and I absorb the second of silence before I exit the car and walk up the stone path. Here goes nothing.

We sit in the tranquility of her backyard, trees obscuring us from view, the babbling of a fountain behind us. It's beautiful and welcoming out here, putting me more at ease. That's probably why she chose for us to meet here, so I'd feel more comfortable.

The journalist, Kate, sets an old fashioned tape recorder in between us on her wooden outdoor table before tucking her legs up. I follow suit, getting comfortable on the white couch. "So I was thinking that I'll just record the conversation without taking notes and I'll play it back later so it can feel a little bit more casual... like you're just talking to a friend," she says softly.

I nod my head in agreement, a small lump in my throat. Most of my experiences have been internalized for so long that the thought of sharing them is daunting, even if it was my idea. Kate continues on, pushing her long brown hair over her shoulder, "If any questions are too much just let me know, you don't have to answer anything you don't want to. And if we need to take breaks, that's all good. The ball is in your court here."

"Wow," I clear my throat, "This might be the first time I haven't had a pushy interviewer. I don't even know how to handle myself," I joke. Kate gives me a forced chuckle, but her eyes are still kind. "Should we start from the beginning?"