Cliché || H.S.

Chapter 3

The minute I get in my car, I dial Safia's number, slightly shaken about everything that just happened. She answers on the second ring, "Lil, what the fuck? What was that meeting about and why are there photos of you and Harry all over twitter?" I let out the groan I've been holding in all day and slam my hands on the steering wheel, frustrated with the way all of this has been going. If this is only one day, these are about to be the longest six months of my life.

"How bad are they?" I lean my head back on the head rest, like somehow it'll brace me for the news. "Nothing bad, just that you guys were there together. I haven't really read any of the comments. How did anybody know you'd be there? What's going on?"

"Can you be at my house in 30? Bring a swimsuit and I'll fill you in then," I tell her, and she immediately agrees. As soon as we hang up I call Celeste, "Hey, Safi and I are going to be there in about thirty minutes. Please tell me we have literally anything to drink in the house."

"Yeah, I think we have some margarita mix around here, I'll find it. If not I'm sure I have something stronger. I'm going to guess this has to do with the pictures of you and Harry?" so the whole world knows, I think to myself. "Unfortunately. Put on a swimsuit, I'll see you soon."

I go straight to the kitchen when I get home and dramatically throw my bag onto a chair, finally able to let out all of my pent up aggression, "Mark my words I'm going to KILL Robbie for making to do this!" I shout. Celeste doesn't even flinch, but instead slowly slides a margarita towards me, "...I think you might need this." I pick up the glass and take a long pull, not caring about judgement at this moment. I receive enough of it from the world as it is. I want to pull my hair out.

"I'll be right back," I turn from Celeste and run up the stairs to my room and flop myself face down on my bed. I muffle a scream before getting myself together. I splash some cold water on my face in an attempt to cool down. You can't give these people power over how you feel. Chill out. I slide on a pink bikini that's good for tanning when I hear the front door open, Safia's voice booming through the house, "LILY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS EXPLAINING TO DO!"

I lean over the upstairs banister and see her making her way to Celeste, who is pouring drinks for the two of them. One part of me wants to lock myself upstairs and pretend none of this morning happened, but the other part is resisting the urge to sprint down the stairs, ready to tell my friends about everything. Considering they're both here and ready, I opt for the latter. We grab our drinks and head out to the backyard, laying out on tanning chairs. Being under the beating sun already makes me feel better. Now that I'm slightly more relaxed, I recite my entire day.

"So you have to pretend to date this guy for six months? Can they do that?" Safia asks me, a surprised look on her face. "Kind of, I just have to go in public with him every week or so, put on a little bit of a show. I can't believe that my job can have this much control over my personal life. Am I just supposed to put everything on hold for other people? I feel like I just sold my soul to the devil, like I'm not even doing this for myself anymore..." I speak the words honestly. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

"Okay I feel like there's a lot to unpack here, but first of all," Celeste begins, "explain this royalties thing to me that Nina offered. A percentage doesn't sound like a lot."

"In this case it is," I explain, "a percentage could be millions. Someday twenty years from now if people stream it, every rerun on TV, I get a cut of that. Their offer was generous before, so an extra percent is more than I could have dreamed of, especially if this movie is as successful as they predict."

I can see Celeste's brain working every angle of the situation, formulating a response. "I think that could be a real positive to make this worth it. This is just a sacrifice to set you up for your future. You'll have the financial security to be picky with the roles you take. You could afford to take years off until the next opportunity that's right for you. That way anytime someone makes an outrageous request like Nina did, you can walk away," Celeste offers. I hadn't thought of it that way, but I think she might be a genius. If Robbie is right and this movie opens doors for me, I could have the chance to hand pick what I do. Only six months of this bullshit, and then I can live my life for me. Take jobs that I want to take.

"Celeste is right," Safia intervenes, "this could be huge for you. People would kill for an opportunity like this. But I want to hear more, what happened at lunch with Harry?" I had been avoiding this part of the story, slightly embarrassed about the way I handled things. "Well I definitely managed to make things awkward for us. We got talking about the movie and I kind of got on him about the fact that he was just handed this when I actually had to work for it. I just get so frustrated sometimes. We have to bust our asses to get where we are, and he just gets to do this movie for fun. He's so fucking priviledged and he doesn't realize, it drives me nuts. And once this movie gets released, people are going to find some way to criticize me, but he could do the worst performance ever seen and people will be blinded by it for who he is." I feel my face heating. I hate how much I'm letting this bother me. Especially when there's nothing I can do to change it.

Safia nods her head in agreement. I'm glad she's here right now because if anyone understands what I mean, it's her. "I understand. I get upset about it too. I think that's why you have to push forward though. Women have spent years being undermined in this industry, you can use your influence for good. Persevere so other women can. You already have a platform, this is just growing it."

"Am I really pushing forward though if I'm agreeing to this? Right now I'm giving them the power to be scummy just by being in this movie. And playing into their little games? Agreeing to lie to my fans for money? I'm part of the problem," I feel more than conflicted right now. Celeste is right about the sacrifice this could be, but at what cost?

"I think it's all perspective. It seems like a shitty deal now, but this could give you the resources you need to speak out. Take a step back before you can push forward. I think you could be a force to be reckoned with, Lil, you just have to give it time to fall into place." I am so grateful for my friends at this moment. I just need to deal with this and then everything will be okay. I'm going to be okay.

"How did Harry react to you unloading on him?" Celeste asks, bringing me back to the present. "He was uncomfortable which is to be expected. I almost feel kind of bad. Safia was right, he really isn't that bad. We pretty much just sat in silence the entire time. I'm still a little wary but I at least don't think he'll be as much of a dick as I thought. He didn't try to fight me back or anything."

"Don't feel bad about it," Safi speaks, "he should know his place, and now he does.But does this mean you're not going to be an asshole to him anymore? Or were you just starting?" I laugh at the prospect. Me making him uncomfortable for the next couple months. "I don't think I'll be an asshole intentionally, but I also think he'll be kept at an arm's length. I know that this isn't his fault, but I also can't help but picture him as everything that's wrong with this industry. He's part of the problem," I tell them truthfully. I really don't think I can see past what him being here stands for.

Celeste is the first to call me out, "didn't you already say that you're part of the problem too? You guys are both pawns in somebody's game at this point, and nobody knows what you're going through quite like him. He's in this with you. I think you could at least try to make friends out of this. From everything you told us, I think he could be an ally." It stings to hear, but I'm glad Celeste says it. I need to hear honesty right now. I don't have to be his best friend, but we are in this together. If anything just building a business connection could be useful to me. I just need to be a little more open.

"I hate that you're right," I mumble. "I'm sorry, what was that?" Celeste asks, cupping her hand to her ear, "did you just say that I'm right?"

"Yes, I admit that you're right. I'll try to be better," and I mean it.