Lilian O'Brien has learned three things since becoming one of Hollywood's hottest actresses:
1. Don't give people the satisfaction of knowing their words got to you
2. The opinions of fans can make or break you
3. NEVER trust a popstar
So what happe...
I have a love hate relationship with press tours. For the most part they're fun, getting to go on talk shows and feeling like I'm more connected to my fans. But on the other side of it, it can be stressful. There's the added pressure to do and say the right things as well as more travel and less sleep.
This one isn't too crazy, this movie has been anticipated but not as highly as a film with a cult following, which means I only have to be in two cities. I started in LA with a radio interview two days ago and Ellen yesterday. James Corden is tonight and then I'll be flying to New York for the premier and one more interview after. Overall it's somewhat manageable.
"Lil, babe you gotta stop shaking," Josh tells me, pulling the blending brush away from my eye. I immediately stop tapping my foot, realizing it's making my entire body vibrate.
"Sorry," I apologize, wiping my sweaty hand on my leggings, "I'm just a literal nervous is all."
"Oh come on, you know you'll do great. You're a natural at these things. I'm not sure why you're so worked up," Josh goes back to blending out my eyeshadow. I have to make a conscious effort not to start shaking my leg again.
"Oh it's not that... it's um- this is the first time I'm seeing Harry since we broke up is all." All of the other interviews have been by myself, but it was requested that we do this one together. I really have no clue whose idea this was, but I want to have a word with them.
"Oh... I still can't believe that it all turned out the way it did. I liked you guys together," Josh says, his face near mine. People keep saying that, that they thought we would have lasted longer, that they wanted us to be together. I wish they wouldn't. This would be so much easier if I was told he was a shit person and everyone hated him.
I don't bother responding, instead I let Josh do his job in silence. Usually I try to be chatty but I don't have it in me. Instead I focus on my breathing, trying to calm the nerves. I know that it hasn't been long but I can't help but wonder how he's changed. Will he look the same? Will he look at me the same?
"Alright chica, you're done. I'll leave you with Annabelle to get changed. Good luck out there," Josh gives me a light kiss on the cheek and a pat on the shoulder before packing up his bag and leaving the room.
"So I know we had said a dress originally, and I still have it if you want, but I thought you might want something that makes you feel a little more powerful," Annabelle tells me, unzipping the garment bag, "let's just try it first and see how you feel." Annabelle never misses. Everything is perfectly tailored, and she's right, I do feel more powerful.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
My stomach is in knots as Annabelle adjusts everything, making sure it's laying right. "I know it's not really my place," she starts, "but I think you could use a friend right now, so I'm going to tell you what I'd say if it was my business."
I chuckle nervously as she uprights herself, resting her hands on my shoulders behind me. Looking into my eyes through the body length mirror she tells me, "you are so talented that the whole world is going to be fooled. Just be yourself and smile through it. It's probably going to be difficult but you've got this. Fuck that guy, honestly. Take a deep breath, walk with your chin held high, and show him what he's missing."
