Cliché || H.S.

Chapter 11

After changing back into my own clothes I managed to slip out of my trailer and into my car without running into anyone. I worry that if anyone had seen me it would have been too obvious, like the words I LIKE HARRY STYLES were printed on my forehead.

As I drive home my thoughts are racing. He had to have felt that too, right? Either that or he is the best actor I have ever worked with. Here's the thing; kissing guys has always meant next to nothing to me. That's child's play. I've had sex with guys and not felt anything. But that kiss. I have never felt anything like that in my life. And I can't lie, that makes me terrified.

So now I'm left with several options:

Admit that I like him and see if he feels the same way.

Ignore him completely and quit my job.

Try to act as normal as possible.

I'd rather go skydiving without a parachute than admit my feelings to someone, so option one is out. I actually like my job and I could be sued for breaking my contract, so option two is also out. That leaves me with option number three. I'm a pro at masking my feelings at this point, I can do that. We're friends, that's all. A kiss is stupid anyways. I'm probably just deprived, I mean I haven't been with anyone in like a year.

So what would normal Lilian do? She would ask him if he wants to hang out tonight, so that's what I'll do. Celeste has an exam tomorrow and Safia has a date, so it'll just be me at home. Before I can talk myself out of it, I shoot a text to Harry, "Wyd tonight?"

He responds less than a minute later, "Meeting a friend for dinner but I'll pick you up after?"

I lay on my closet floor and stare at my ceiling. Something about being surrounded by clothes makes me feel comforted, but it's far less fun without Safia and Celeste in here. I really need to change but I'm back to overthinking.

Do I acknowledge the kiss? Do I make a joke about it? Do I pretend it didn't happen? What is this guy doing to me?

I expect my doorbell to ring but instead I hear a car horn from outside my house. I look out my bedroom window to see Harry sitting in a convertible with the top down, scrolling through his phone. I grab my purse and head through the front door. When he hears me running down my driveway, Harry looks up to me and a smile spreads across his face.

"Come on, get in. We're going for a drive," he waves me into the car. Unlike his vintage Mercedes, this car is black and sleek, and I can tell it's made for speed. I run my hand across the expensive leather and take in the smell of the new car.

"Are you going to chat up the car or are you going to acknowledge me?" Harry says with annoyance, but when I turn to him I can see he's just joking. He holds out his arm for a hug and I lean in across the center console. I breathe in his scent, something that has become familiar to me in the past month and a half. But this time instead of just his cologne and detergent it's laced with something else... perfume?

My stomach drops, but I try not to jump conclusions. He said it was dinner with a friend. We're friends, and I'm a girl, it doesn't mean anything. I try to put the thoughts out of my head and certainly off my face as I pull away from his warmth.

"How was your friend?" I ask as innocently as possible.

"Oh, um, good. I just met up with Mitch and Sarah. Grabbed a quick dinner," he explains, revving the engine. Relief floods my body and I curse myself for letting myself get worked up. Not only do I have zero claim over this guy, but I also assumed the worst of him. Also, since when have I been the jealous type?

"Where are we going?" I change the subject quickly, desperate to get jealous thoughts out of my head.

"I was thinking about just driving around, it's a nice night. Is that okay?" He asks, suddenly unsure. I think it's kind of cute, how desperate he can be to please. The sun is beginning to set, the sky painted orange and blue. A perfect night for a drive.

"Sounds great," I say honestly. Harry looks content and I can see the tension is his shoulders release. He hands me his unlocked phone, already open to his music. I scroll through his options but I already have the perfect song in mind. And if he doesn't know every lyric I will jump out of this moving car.

Tongue Tied by Grouplove blasts through the expensive speakers and I can't help the smile that immediately pulls at my face. Harry looks to me approvingly and we both start screaming at the top of our lungs, "TAKE ME TO YOUR BEST FRIEND'S HOUSE ROLL AROUND THIS ROUNDABOUT OH YEAH"

A laugh escapes my mouth while my hair whips all around me. I turn to Harry and serenade him not caring about the way my voice sounds, just singing as loud as I can. Harry keeps his eyes on the road but looks back at me repeatedly, laughing. He's singing along too, absolutely glowing lit by the sunset. The open air, the music, the sunset, the boy, it fills me with such immense joy. I can't even remember the last time I felt this happy, this free.

We drive around like that until the sun completely sets. Harry parks the car by the cliffs in Malibu, overlooking the ocean and the open sky. He turns the music down and reclines his seat back, face turned to the stars. I follow suit and sit in silence, letting the sound of the waves make music in my ears.

"Tell me about university," Harry tells me and the request catches me off guard. I only mentioned that I had gone to college once, while we were at Nobu.

"Well I stayed in state and went to Arizona State University. I totally leaned into the college experience, joined a sorority and everything. It was fun," It really was fun. It was unlike anything else I've ever experienced, it's own bubble hidden from reality. People think of Hollywood like that, but it's in truth it's run like any other business. But college was its own entity.

"Are you sad you didn't get to finish?" he asks, his voice soft. I have to think about his question before formulating an answer. It's not something I had really thought of. I had been swept up into this new world so quickly that I never had much time to reminisce. Everything was too new and exciting. 

"Not necessarily. I know that what I have now is irreplaceable. And I still finished my degree online which was important to me. I'm more sad about the friendships I missed out on. I still keep in contact with a lot of my close friends but it became hard to tell who wanted to actually be friends with me and who wanted to say they were friends with me."

Harry nods his head in understanding. I think everyone I've met since moving to LA has had a similar experience. Harry moves his hand to my leg and starts drawing circles with his thumb on my thigh. My first reaction is to pull away, but I stop myself and just let it happen. I know him, and I know he won't push me to do anything I don't want to do.

"Do you ever wish you went to college?" Harry contemplates my question for a good while before responding.

"I think the grass is always greener. If I had gone to university I would be wishing that my music career had worked out. Sometimes I like to think about what my life would have been if the X Factor had never happened but I'm glad it did. Otherwise I wouldn't have met you."

My heart flutters at his words. I turn to face him but he continues staring at the sky. I take in his profile memorizing every curve. "I'm glad I met you too."