Cliché || H.S.

Chapter 33

Harry POV

I thought I was doing what was best. Not just for me, but for her. But the second the words left my mouth, the look on her face instantly filled me with a pang of regret. But I couldn't let that control me, I had to keep doing what I thought was right. But the letter she left on my front step showed that I didn't have a clue in the world what I was doing. I royally fucked up.

I read the letter over and over again as the sun begins to rise, a reminder of the horrible mistake I made. I can't even explain the way my body feels, like my heart has been ripped at the seams. And the worst part? I did it to myself. I did it to her. She loves me... loved. She probably hates me now, and I deserve that. The way she spit my words back at me, proving just how idiotic I sounded. The only thing I ever wanted to do was to prove to her that I wasn't like all of those other guys and that's exactly what I did.

I deserve to sit here in the suffocating silence of my house, but I can't do it anymore. I fold up the letter and shove it into my pockets as I head out the front door. I drive around in the silence, not bothering to turn on the music. I know that whatever song comes on will just make me think of her. Eventually I find myself at the familiar house and head for the front door, knocking loudly.

Mitch opens the door in a pair of sweats and no shirt, his long hair askew. He rubs his tired eyes, and the early hour finally registers with me. I must have woken him up.

"Wow. You look like shit," he remarks, standing still in the doorway. I can only imagine what I look like. I'm still half dressed in my suit from earlier, my eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep. I nervously shove my hand into my pocket and run my fingers over the thin paper nervously.

Sarah's head peeks around Mitch's shoulder as she pulls her robe tighter around her body. Her brow is furrowed, her eyes full of concern. "Mitch, get out of the way. Come in Harry, I'll start some coffee," she says softly.

Sarah slides me the mug across the counter without question, and I stare into it, letting it warm my hands. She leans back, clearly waiting for me to talk when I'm ready. Mitch doesn't hold the same level of patience.

"So are you just going to sit here and stare or are you going to explain why you're here at six in the morning?"

"I broke up with Lilian," I announce quietly. Saying the words out loud make me queasy. I don't look up from my mug, but I can hear Sarah's sharp inhale and Mitch choke on his coffee.

"Harry.... what happened? I thought things were going well," Sarah says softly. She rests her hand on mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm an idiot is what happened," I bury my face in my hands, elbows resting on the counter, "I was at the studio writing with Kid yesterday and nothing was really happening, I was completely out of ideas. I was getting frustrated and he said something like 'it's okay because when the breakup happens the songs will just keep flowing and the whole album will come together'. And I just.... I got so in my head thinking it was all too good to be true and I convinced myself that she would end it. That us breaking up had to be inevitable. And I couldn't take riding this out just for it to end. It would hurt too much. So I did it first."

"Jesus," Mitch whispers, "dude, you can't listen to anything Kid says. You know he wasn't saying that you had to break up with her, right?" I nod my head, knowing that he's right.

"I know but I was already so on edge and I just thought I needed to protect myself. The movie is over, she's going to go on to whatever's next for her and be surrounded by all these other guys... I see the way they look at her, she has no reason to be with me."

"I love you man, but you need to have more faith in yourself than that. And more faith in her. Has she shown interest in other guys? Or given you any reason to believe that she's going to end it?" Mitch asks, watching me carefully.