Cliché || H.S.

Chapter 13

The past two days of work have been painfully slow. Harry and I don't joke through the days like we used to, instead we hardly talk. He's tried to pull me aside several times but I refuse to hear him out. Luckily Safia has been there, like my own human shield. One of the only things making me feel better is watching the drama on social media unfold.

Usually I would avoid twitter at all costs during a time like this, but I've found the comments being made by strangers oddly comforting. It turns out not many people are a huge fan of Camille. To be honest I'm not sure if they like me, but from what I can tell I'm the preferred of the two. I hope Harry is seeing how bad he fucked up.

Now that the initial anger has worn off I have room for other thoughts and emotions. I have room to feel sad and confused. I had genuinely thought that there could be something between us, but I read the situation so terribly wrong. I know that I have no claim over him, but I can't help but feel betrayed. I opened up to him, I told him everything about Jesse and the other guys I've been with, but he never told me he was seeing another girl?

I have this feeling of loss that I can't even begin to understand. How can you lose something you never had? We had gotten on so well that in a way I feel like I'm mourning our friendship, if that's what it even was. Nina's voice snaps me out of my thoughts, pulling me back to the present, "Lilian I need you over here."

I wander over to where Nina is standing beside Harry. My stomach ties up in knots, knowing what this conversation is going to entail. "I'm giving you guys the night off, please go do something together in public, I don't care what as long as you look happy and together," she tells us, and all I can manage is to nod my head.

Harry turns to me the second Nina walks away, her black stilettos clacking against the cement flooring. "Um so I was thinking we could do something fun, maybe go to the art festival downtown? Or we could do the pedal boats in Echo Park?" He looks hopeful, and it almost makes me feel bad to turn him down. But not bad enough.

"Actually Celeste's parents are in town right now," I lie easily, "they wanted to take us out to dinner so I need to get home. Can we just walk the block off set around Melrose looking gooey? There's no way we won't be seen there." I try to sound unbothered, almost bored. I make sure to stare into his eyes so he knows I'm unphased.

Harry deflates right in front of me, his shoulders sagging, "Um, yeah- yeah that will do. Are you ready now?"

The two of us walk through the gates that surround the set, basically one giant warehouse, and head towards Melrose. People are scattered all over the sidewalk, shopping and leaving restaurants. I grab Harry's hand hastily and intertwine our fingers. I even lean in close to him and bring my opposite hand across my body to rest on his arm. It's strange, even though I'm so physically close to him right now, the distance between us is palpable.

He did this, not you, I have to reassure myself. We walk in an awkward silence for a moment but it doesn't last long. Knowing that I have nowhere to run, Harry uses this to his advantage and tries his hand at another apology, "I really am sorry, Lilian. More than you could ever know. I know how important all of this is to you and the last thing I ever wanted to do was ruin it. I actually wanted to do the opposite for you. I know you don't want to hear me out, and I deserve your silence. But I didn't meet with Camille the way everyone thought I did, I'm not-" I cut him off before he can say anymore.

"Smile," I tell him, putting a fake one on my own face.

"What?" he allows himself to look confused for a moment before doing as I say and smiling down at me. I reach up and gently brush his face with my hand before returning it to my side. The gesture feels wrong, but there are eyes everywhere. I see a teen girl up ahead pull out her phone and take a photo of us, not even trying to be discrete.

"There are eyes everywhere, you can't look like you're in the middle of an apology." I pull my hand from his and slide my arm behind his back so our hips bump while we walk. He returns the gesture by slinging his arm around my shoulders. I can smell him when he's this close and though the aroma of perfume is gone, his scent is tainted.

"But I am in the middle of an apology. Lily, please just hear me out," he pleads. His voice sounds genuine, and I know he didn't mean to drag me into this. But I can't handle hearing about his ex, or current girlfriend, whoever she is. Not when this wound is still so fresh. I at least want to leave with some pride.

We're rounding the corner and I can see the gates of the set come back into view. "Look, I believe that you're sorry, and I accept your apology, but I'm not ready to pretend this didn't happen. I'll believe that you're going to be better when you are. And you don't have to feel like you need to explain all the ex girlfriend stuff to me like we're actually dating. Because we're just friends, right?" I try to say the last words lightly, but they taste bitter in my mouth, and I hate the way they feel.

"Um, yeah. Friends," He mumbles the words and removes his arm from my shoulder. I feel colder without it, and I can't help but feel like the distance between us just grew even more. We're back to the studio lot and all I can think of is getting to the comfort of my car. Away from him, away from all of this.

We say our awkward goodbyes and I walk with my head down to my car, a sheet of blonde hair obscuring any view of my face. The second the door closes behind me I lose all control of the emotions I've been suppressing the past three days. Tears stream down my face and a sob releases from deep in my throat. My shoulders are shaking as I lean my head on the steering wheel, trying to control my breathing. It's no use.

Even as I close my eyes, tears continue to seep from the corners. In that moment I decided to let myself feel all of this at once. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the weak apologies. I curse myself for being so naive, for thinking this guy could actually like me. I knew from the first day I met him that I shouldn't trust him but I let myself be weak. I let myself believe that he was different. And look where it got me? I feel like a complete fool.

I sit in the parking lot until the sun sets and I feel completely hollow, devoid of emotions. I pull myself upright to drive home, a new determination. That will be the one and only time I let myself cry over Harry Styles.

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A/N: I'm not going to lie, writing this chapter in particular hurt me. What do you think about Harry meeting with Camille?