Love and Hate

Feelings and findings

If anyone should be sad now, it should be me but I'm the opposite of sad.
I'm masking my pain and sorrow with a smile, I'm sad that my father isn't here with me anymore but staying in pain won't bring him back, finding who killed him would give me some peace and maybe my father would rest in peace.
The police department have refused to give us his remains because whosoever did this to him doesn't want to turn himself in.
If he does then we can bury him and give him a proper funeral.
My mother hasn't been herself, she's a total mess and she hasn't uttered a word to me since my dad died. She needs her time to heal, i do too.
Nathan and Mira are the only reason why I'm not right behind my father in the land of the dead, I've tried to kill myself. I know it's stupid but I'm helpless and I messed up real bad.

It's 2:30 in the morning and I'm far away from finding sleep. Maybe milk would help.
I was on my way to the kitchen and I decided to check on my mum, maybe she's awake too and this should be the perfect time to talk.
Her room is quiet and I turn the knob and open the door to let myself in.
The light from the moon made it easy for me to see her on the bed and there's someone else there.
Maybe I'm hallucinating and I think that my father is still alive so i walk towards the bed and this man isn't my father, my mum is cheating.
I ran back to my room and I want to cru but I can't find tears.
Why would she do this, she replaced him so fast. I thought she loved him.
And then it hit me, my mum was the one close to my dad when she died, why would someone come in and she wouldn't interfere.
She said the culprit exchanged words with my dad but the detective said he was attacked from behind.
What if she killed him, will she do that?
Out of fear i packed my things from my closet into a big bag and like a coward i left the house instead of facing my father's murderer.
Forgive me dad.

Nathan's pov
I was enjoying my sleep when my phone rang. I ignored the call because I really needed to get some rest from work and everything. The person kept calling and I couldn't ignore it so I picked the call and I was about to yell when I heard her voice.
"Where are you?" I asked and my voice was as soft as tofu.
"Wait for me".
Why would she be outside her house by this time. I swear if any harm should come to her I wouldn't forgive myself.
She's the only girl that has got me all sweaty and nervous, i had to lay low when Myles started taking her out.
I have feelings for her and I can't get her out of my head, every time I'm thinking about her.
I'm driving like a maniac to her house and when I got there, she literally ran into my car.
Her perfect face reminds me of an angel. Yeah I haven't seen one before but I'm sitting next to one.
She looks scared and all I want to do is protect her but I have to lay low.
"What's wrong? Why are you outside by this time with a bag"
Instead of answering my questions she just ignores them and stare at her hands on her laps.
She doesn't want to talk and I understand that so I just drive to my house.
All through the ride she didn't utter a single word so when we got to my place i prepared the guest room for her and left her so she could get some rest.
She must be going through a lot.