Love and Hate

Queen

Two years ago
Success is a good thing but your pathway to success shapes how good or bad it would be.
I'm totally confused about the term I should use for this pathway but I have to use one.
"Uncle, you still haven't explained anything to me" . Even though I said I was ready, I haven't heard the full story and maybe it was my curiosity or my eagerness that pushed me to say yes but I just did it and I'm standing with my decision.
"Well, turns out your grandfather took over the family's heirloom and passed it down to us, he didn't tell us anything when he should have. We should have been trained for this and taught everything about the family so we can choose to keep the family legacy or kill it, but we didn't really have the chance to do that."
Uncle Dami had gotten up from his seat during his talk, he was already at the door waiting for me to come with him.
I followed my instincts and stood up, he opened the door of his home office and stepped out. I ran out of the office so I could keep up, I know my uncle, he wouldn't wait for me.
When I finally caught up with him, he resumed his story.
"As at the time we were told about the nooks and cranny, the risks and benefits, we had to make rough decisions.
Your mother was pregnant with you as at that time and I couldn't let your father leave her behind to do this especially when we were still amateurs. We asked the lawyer what our father wanted and he said we either keep the legacy or the family name"
"What does that mean? It's almost the same thing"
"It's not" we had gotten to the basement of the house and we were standing at the front of a door. I originally didn't walk down here all through my stay because no normal person would walk down to a basement out of curiosity especially after watching so many movies where bad things happen in the basement.
Uncle Dami pulled out a key and unlocked the door but didn't open it.
"Keeping the family name means building the family tree, reproducing and making sure that there are people to carry the name for generations but the legacy is what the family name stands for, what the family is built upon and what makes the family special" he finally opened the door and right there in that basement was where a new Ayanfe was made.

.........,...:;,.........

Present Day

My new friend has been gracing me with her presence from time to time and I felt it would be polite to pay her a visit today but I wasn't going empty handed.
I baked the same cookies I made the first day she came here, it's obvious that I've charmed her with my baking skills and I only picked it from you tube videos. Not my mother's recipe or grandmother's. Just a recipe online.
I picked my baby up along with the bag of cookies, some ice cream and toys for my baby, I mean people here bond over things like this.
My oyinbo friend must have been bored because she was so happy to see me. She embraced me regardless of the fact that I had a big baby in my arms, I didn't complain though, I was happy to see her too.
"Hey, I thought you would like some company and some treats" I waved my bag in the air in front of her face. She sniffed the air and spread her lips.
"Chocolate cookies?" Ahhh she has a great nose.
"Yes, can I come in now? I had to set this boy down before my arm breaks"
"Oh, sorry" she opened the door wider for me to come in.
I quickly dropped my baby on the floor and set some toys in front of him.
Unlike other kids, he's really quiet and less troublesome.
He quickly picked one toy with his little hands and looked at it like it fell from heaven before shaking it around.
My oyinbo friend sat next to him since she didn't have a couch. For someone who left home and cut her friends off without having a solid plan, she's really doing well for herself.
I've seen people put up with many things because they couldn't make a decision like hers.
"You know, I admire you a lot. You are a strong woman" I decided to tell her what I really wanted to say since the day we had dinner.
"Thank you. No one has told me that but I appreciate your words" she placed her hands on mine and offered a bright smile.
"Have you gotten a job yet?"
"No, still hoping" she sighed and I scolded myself for bringing it up.
I could do something about it.

I picked my baby up and stretched my hand out to her.
"Come, I want to show you something"
......,,,....................

Two years ago
"You know my brother doesn't like your decision, you are his only child. I took this upon myself because I hadn't taken huge steps in life yet" Uncle Dami handed me the bow and slung the quiver of arrow over my shoulder.
"Yet here you are training for what's to come"
"Well, I'm happy that you're picking the legacy because you're basically our last hope. If you had picked the latter then when I die everything would die with me and I don't want that" he shrugged and helped me place the arrow carefully.
I may be determined for this but I'm very much sloppy and making mistakes.
"You should be prepared for anything and everything in any circumstance. You may know how to use one thing well but what happens when you aren't provided with it?" He looked at me and waited for an answer. I wasn't sure of what to say.
"That's why you have me here, to teach you everything you need to know" he rubbed my shoulder and nodded towards the target.
Like he showed me yesterday, I held the arrow between my index and middle finger and pulled it back on the bow string.
"Remember, an arrow shot towards a target without an aim in mind wouldn't land on the target. Picture your aim, take a deep breath and release. Don't miss the target or I would send you back home"
What the fuc.......
I can't go back home after everything I've heard, no way.
Deep breaths Ayanfe, aim, drawback and release all.
I opened my eyes and I didn't even hit the target. I looked at my uncle but he had already turned his back and was leaving.
No, I can't let this slip out of my hand like this.
I pulled another arrow and repeated the routine, again and again and again.
I kept shooting towards the target but it wouldn't hit it.
I was at the range until it was dark and my fingers were already bleeding because of the constant friction.
I had one arrow left. I looked back to the house and a window was open, someone was standing there and watching me. Probably the boy that lives with my uncle.
I picked the arrow and imagined a ticket to Nigeria as the target.
I took a deep breath and pulled the arrow back.
"Fuck you but I'm not going back without this legacy on my shoulders"
Thump, Bullseye.
I was still celebrating my little victory when I heard footsteps behind me, uncle Dami had an arrow in his hand.
"Hit it again, the same spot" he handed me the arrow and kept his eye on the target.
If it weren't for the sake of culture and respect I would have called him senseless and idiot because he's really trying to send me back to our country without giving me a chance to learn and make mistakes, but if this is what I should do to stay then I would.
Arrow drawn, deep breath, aim and release.
This time around his face was on the target.

..........................................

Oyinbo means a foreign person in yoruba. The person could be white or of color.
Besides Ayanfe didn't actually aim for her uncle's face, she just did the same thing she did with the ticket.