infatuation // lashton

Epilogue (Ashton's letter)

My beloved Luke.

Do you remember the first night we met? You looked like an angel, my love- a very clumsy angel that tripped over a ground squirrel.

I felt like a 14 year old again, all giggly around the cute boy. Did you know that that was the first time I'd smiled in weeks?

Do you remember how I told you I was going for a walk? I lied. The anticipation of dying had become too overwhelming so that night I had planned on jumping off the bridge near that park and ending my life on my own account. I'm glad I didn't, because then I saw you.

You looked tired and sad and angry and breathtakingly beautiful. And I used to always turn away from hope for I was too afraid of the potential disappointment, but there was something in the beauty of your clouded eyes that made me want to stay for a little while longer.

Despite my inevitable death, you saved my life.

And I am so sorry for lying to you about my cancer- I just didn't want you to run away. It was selfish, I know. But I wouldn't take back a single second and I hope, as my husband, you wouldn't either.

You need to promise me that you will move on, find a man who treats you well and marry the fuck out of him. Maybe you'll adopt kids and build them a treehouse, maybe you'll live in each other's company for the rest of your lives and build a treehouse for yourselves, maybe treehouses will be really out of style by then, who knows. But you deserve to feel loved, Luke.

Death is a strange thing, really; but I'm not afraid of it anymore. I'm happy, you've made me so happy. You've made me feel so loved, appreciated, like I'm worth something- and I could never thank you enough.

And I'm not gone, Luke, just gone from sight; like one who walks ahead at night.

Shit, that rhymed. I feel like Ghandi.

I don't really know what else to write.

I love you, I always will.

You were always my angel, I guess it's time to repay the favor.

God, I love you so fucking much.

xoxo, Ashton.

~~~

A/N

And that's it.

Thank you all for reading.

I just posted the prologue & first part to my next bigger fic called "figure my heart out", check it out if you want.

I love you guys so much.

-a-dizzledizzle