Walk me through the dark

33

He forced himself to keep walking, the building coming into view. When he reached the door he took a deep breath and stepped inside.

"Hey man!" Brandon was quick to notice the doctor, walking over to him with a big smile.

"Um, hi" Spencer mumbled, his voice sticking to his throat.

"How's work? What do you even do? I've been out of work for awhile, turns out it's hard to hold a job when your wasted all the time huh" Brandon laughed, "word gets around, no one will hire me until I clean myself up" Brandon kept rambling, either not noticing, or just ignoring how uncomfortable Spencer was, shifting from foot to foot, his hands clutching the strap of his bag. Spencer let out a sigh when the meeting was called to start, trying to step around Brandon, who was still rambling, telling Spencer about his home life and what jobs he did and wanted to do. Spencer claimed a seat, and pursed his lips briefly in frustration when Brandon sat next to him, still talking a mile a minute.

"Brandon?" the chairperson started, making the man finally shut the hell up. "Ok, so last week, we were helping Scott get a sponsor, and I think we need someone to sponsor Spencer as well, right?" He smiled at the doctor, who felt the bile climb up his throat at all the eyes who turned to look at him.

"Oh, that's alright, I can do that" Brandon called, holding his hand up like a child, before bringing it down and slapping it on Spencer's shoulder. Spencer flinched, leaning away.

"Please don't touch me" Spencer muttered,

"Oh sorry man!" Brandon held his hands up in his defense.

"Ok good! Now, today I thought we could talk about which steps everyone is at, and if anyone has any questions? Need any help?"

"I just wanted to thank the lord for showing me this group, and that I needed to get better. That I wasn't in control" another man said a few seats away from spencer.

"Ok, that's a good thing to talk about"

Spencer chewed on his lip, his tongue eventually tasted metal. Great.

Spencer stayed quite the entire meeting, like last time. When it was finished Brandon was quick to block Spencer's exit.

"Man, lets go get some coffee or something! Get to know each other more"

"I, uh, I have to get home"

"I'll just come over then!"

The last thing Spencer wanted was this man knowing where he lived.

"Fine, coffee?"

"yes! " Brandon fist pumped the air. How old was this man? Spencer assumed he was in his thirties but the way he acts is closer to 15. "Ok so I don't have a car, got my license revoked, do you?"

"I take the subway"

"That's alright! Fun! "

It took all of Spencer's strength to keep from rolling his eyes. Then the duo left the building, Brandon holding a styrofoam cup of that awful coffee they had at the center. By the time they reached the entrance of the subway Brandon could throw the now empty cup away. Unfortunately for Spencer, because now Brandon could talk again.

Spencer could deal with monsters, murderers, hostage situations. He could just go on autopilot and get things done. He was comfortable with his team, his family to babble on about whatever, often forgetting that no one really cares. But with strangers, it's like his jaw was wired shut. His vocal chords felt stiff, that they wouldn't make any noise even if he wanted them to. Spencer wasn't 100% sure why he was going out for coffee with Brandon. This wasn't a date, he wasn't interested that way, and he's not getting those vibes from Brandon either.

He didn't really want to go home to his empty apartment. He didn't want to be alone for too long.

"so , you still never have told me what you do for a job!" Brandon was leaning over the side of the railing. Spencer sat on the end seat, brandon leaning against the wall/door next to it.

"It's not important"

"You look all" Brandon waved his hand at Spencer, "like a professor or something"

"Sure, let's go with that"

"You're not very lively are you?"

"I guess"

Spencer could feel that his face was blank, he felt himself shutting down when around Brandon, the other man's energy felt draining to Spencer. When they got to their stop, the two got off, 

"Wow your fast!" Brandon painted, trying to keep up with Spencer as he practically ran up the steps. Spencer didn't respond, focusing only on the Starbucks across the street, the dim lights inside glistening off the table tops inviting him in.