Walk me through the dark

11

Morgan must've fallen asleep because he was woken up to loud sobbing. He jumped up and went to the doorway of Reids bedroom.

"No, no, no, no" Reid was sobbing, pulling the blanket up and around him, hiding himself.

"Hey, hey kid" Morgan says softly, slowly approaching Reid.

"Im sorry" Reid cries, looking up at Morgan with such a broken look in his eyes Morgan almost cried himself. "Im sorry, I tried, I did, I tried but, no, no, no, no"

"Hey" Morgan said softly, pulling the blanket away from Reid and gently gripping his wrists, pulling them out so his whole arms were exposed. Reid let out another heart broken sob, closing his eyes and looking away from the messy state of his arms.

"Reid" Morgan repeated, moving his face so Spencer had to look at him. "It's ok, I didn't tell anyone, and I'm gonna help you ok?" Spencer didn't trust himself to talk, he just gave a quick nod, more tears streaking down his face, his bottom lip gripped between his teeth.  Morgan let go of his wrists and Spencer was quick to bring his arms back to his torso where he crossed them and tried to hide the wounds from both sets of eyes.

"Now, you haven't eaten in awhile, so I want you to try and eat some of these ok?" Morgan says bringing the sleeve of crackers into Reids line of sight. Reid didn't try to fight, he just brought a shaky hand up and grabbed a cracker, bringing it to his lips and slowly chewing it.  The motion of food going into his empty stomach sent it rolling, after one cracker Reid had to put his head between his knees.  Morgan set the crackers down and helped Reid lay down, making sure he knew that the trash can was right next to him if he needed it. Morgan was about to leave when he heard a soft cry. Turning around he saw Reid staring at the ceiling, his hands absentmindedly scratching at his arms.

"hey " Morgan came back over, gently moving Spencers hands from his wounds, Spencer gripped onto Morgans hand, clenching his eyes shut but not letting go.

Spencer hated being the baby of the group, he hated how weak he was, he hated how annoying he knew he was, and he hated how he couldn't stop Tobias, or how he couldn't stop himself from using those god damn drugs. Spencer also hated how badly he needed to not be alone right now. He hated that his grip on Derek was the only thing keeping him from going over to his stash and relapsing.

"S-stay" he croaks, flinching at the whine in his voice, how it caught in his throat and made him sound as weak as he felt.

"Ok, it's ok," Morgan says, climbing into the bed so he could pull Spencer to his chest. Spencer was trembling, once again mumbling nonsense under his breath.

"Shh" Morgan shushed Reid, grabbing the young agents hand in his to keep him from scratching more. Spencer's breathing got slower and it wasn't long before he fell asleep. Morgan sat there looking around his room, at the piles of books stacked around the room, the chess board that looked to be in the middle of a match. If he remembered right Morgan was pretty sure that table was originally in the living room by the window, why had Spencer moved it into his bedroom? 

Morgan noted the few pieces of clothing that sat discarded by the bathroom door. The few trinkets that Reid kept sat on his dresser, Morgan was slowly looking at each and every one of them from his spot on the bed, he was currently onto a photo of the team Reid had framed when the young man began to stir again. 

"I need it, I need it" he mumbled, before jerking up. Morgan quickly made himself known as to try and avoid another incident like earlier.

"Hey, hey kid" he said gently, his hands hovering over Reid but not touching him.

"Morgan I need it" Spencer whimpered, bowing his head in shame.  Spencer couldn't take it, the pain in his muscles, the throbbing in his skull, the fact that he kept slipping back into that barn and that was the one thing he was trying to escape from. 

"No, no you don't, you can fight this"

"No, no, no" Spencer was shaking his head again, his hair slapping his face.

"Spencer" Morgan said sternly but also softly, his hands coming up to hold Spencers face still, Morgan moved so he was facing the younger man. "Spencer you can do this, i'm staying here to help you" Morgan moved a little and let go of Spencer's face. "Listen kid, you made it this far alone, now i'm here to help you, you're not alone anymore."

"Can I be alone please?" Spencer whispered,

"You know I can't leave you alone, not in the state your in"

Spencer just nodded, understanding, of course Morgan isn't going to leave him, he knows Spencer was itching the relapse.

"Where's your stash?"

At this question Spencers eyes widened, he started shaking his head again, his fingers reaching toward his elbows but Morgan grabbed them before they could make contact.

"Whoa, ok, ok calm down, I get it, not there yet, but i'm not going to let you out of my sight ok pretty boy?" Spencer just nodded, letting his hands fall limply into his lap. "Now, let's try and get some food and water into your system ok? Then I can give you some medicine to help lower this fever more" 

Spencer didn't acknowledge what Derek said but he also didn't fight the older man when he hauled him up and led him to the kitchen.  Spencer slumped down in a chair, staring vacantly at the counter in front of him. After a few minutes of Derek struggling to find anything in the Reids kitchen he finally placed a glass of water, a plate holding crackers, a few baby carrots, and a small bowl of soup. Spencer slowly wrapped his fingers around the glass of water, shivering at the chill it sent through his body. He brought the cup to his mouth and sipped on the water before reaching  for the soup.  Morgan drank from a cup of coffee, leaning against the counter and watched Reid slowly eat some soup.  Neither spoke a word. The only sound being the slurping of the coffee and soup, and their breathing, Spencers slightly more haggard than Morgans.  Once Spencer was able to force down most of the soup he stood to go back to his room.

"Wait" Morgans voice made him stop, "we have to go pick up medication, we can't let this fever fester"

"I have to come with?" Spencer sounded like a small child, his head hung, his hands wringing in front of him, his body slowly swaying back and forth.  in his head he saw where the  Dilaudid was, how it was just in the other room, and his skin was itching in anticipation. 

"Sorry kid, but I told you I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"Ok" spencer mumbles, stuffing his feet into his shoes and pulling a jacket on. He followed Derek out of his apartment, his head still down, his body trying to be as small as possible but also focusing on his feet because they didn't feel quite attached to his body and he was sure the floor was rocking beneath him. The drive to the drug store was quick and Morgan left the young doctor in the car as he ran in.  Morgan tried to be as quick as he could, grabbing what he thought would help. When he got back into the car,

"Ok pretty boy-" Morgan stopped talking when he realized Spencer was sleeping. Instead gently setting the bag in the young man's lap and putting the car into gear to head back to the apartment.