Walk me through the dark

21

It's been a little over a week since Spencer was forced to go home. It's been 88 hours, 25 minutes and 14, 15, 16 seconds since Spencer had duliaded his system. He sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in clean slacks and button down, his first time wearing clothes beside sweatpants and baggy shirts. His chest was tight with anxiety, Hotch should be there soon, the older man insisted, more so ordered, to take Reid to his first AA meeting.

Morgan left that morning to go back to work, and both had called in a frequently checked in on spencer. It was the second day of him being left alone and frankly he was getting annoyed. His head was back to working full force, racing at a thousand miles an hour. His leg bounced up and down the thudding of his heel on the floor was the only noise in the entire house.

"Coffee" Spencer mutters, pushing up from the bed and heading downstairs to the kitchen. The empty house didn't give Read a lot to work with. A Lot of his belongings still sat gathering dust in his apartment and Morgan and Hotch wouldn't let him go to retrieve them, let alone go back home to sleep. Not that Spencer really wanted to sleep in his own bed, the one in his apartment was a piece of plywood compared to Morgan's guest bed. Plus the thought of being alone made Spencer's skin crawl. He's been trying to avoid thinking about how easy it would be to relapse, to just slip away and go home and return to that numb yellow feeling. Instead he focused on starting the coffee pot, and taking time picking out the coffee mug he would use. Spencer has been trying to slow everything down and hyper focus on the smallest things in order to keep his mind from wandering. Right now his eyes were fixated on the small crack that peaked out from under the top of the handle, the thin line spread very faintly across the side of the mug until it faded away. His hands gently moved the mug aside and instead grabbed the one behind it. This one was black, had a gold rim with gold specks that faded in intensity as it went down.

Spencer placed the mug under the dispenser and stood there watching the dark liquid splash into the mug, small drops splashing out of the mug and making hardly noticeable spots on the counter under the coffee machine. Once it finished Spencer carefully grabbed the handle, careful not to touch the side of the mug to avoid getting burned like he accidently did the other morning. While piling the sugar into the coffee Spencer found himself smiling a little when he heard a morgans voice complaining about the amount of sugar and coffee he's had to buy since Spencer "moved in". Usually the teasing would make Spencer uncomfortable but he knew Morgan was only joking, that he only had to buy coffee and sugar two days ago in preparation for when Spencer's stomach allowed him to ingest anything. Him and Morgan ate breakfast before Morgan left for work, it wasn't anything fancy, just eggs and sausage. Morgan ate almost three times as much as spencer but both were proud that spencer was even hungry enough and physically able to eat one serving.

Spencer sat on the couch, his legs crossed in front of him. He used one hand to hold onto the coffee mug that sat on the cushion next to him, his other hand had his phone. It was 10:45 meaning Spencer had 15 minutes before Hotch would show up. He had no idea why they were going to one that was at noon, but Spencer didn't fight it. Anything to get out of this house. Spencer drank his coffee in silence, his eyes slowly gazing and unfocusing at random things. He was beyond bored.

Spencer jumped at the knocking on the door. Luckily his mug was empty and his phone was on the table so nothing was damaged. Spencer quickly got up and raced to the door to let who he presumed to be Hotch inside. He swung the door open and gave a small

"Hi" to his unit chief. Hotchner stood on the porch looking down at his phone that he was composing a text with one hand, the other gave Spencer a wave. Spencer was a little shocked, Hotch was wearing jeans and a dark blue pull over, it's not like the team has never seen Aaron out of a suit but the few times they did send shocks into every member. Spencer heard Hotch follow him into the house when he turned to put his coffee mug away in the kitchen.