Walk me through the dark

3

When Spencer peeled his eyes open, it took him a moment to realize that the sun coming through his window wasn't right. Usually when he woke up, the sun hadn't arrived yet, and by the time he got to the subway, the sun was in the sky. It was then Spencer realized he was late. 

He jerked, up, his head feeling like it was full of cotton. His eyes squinted at his clock but he couldn't see and he couldn't find his glasses. His hands slapped the table and the bed around him until they came in contact with the hard frames. He pushed the frames on and gasped when he finally saw the time.

He was so incredibly late.

Reid stumbled out of bed, the blankets twisting around him and making him almost fall flat on his face. He let out a frustrated cry and got himself untangled and beelined to his dresser. He didn't have time for a shower. He pulled on a pair of slacks, and picked up the same shirt he wore yesterday, not bothering to tuck it in before layering a sweater vest over it.

"Good enough"

He grabbed his bag, his hand instinctively going in and fumbling around while he walked to his kitchen until he felt the small vial he kept in there. He didn't have time right now, he had to use it later. Hopefully before he started craving it again, as he could still feel some of it in his system as everything seems slightly out of focus. Spencer grabbed his sunglasses and keys and hurried out the door. 

The subway was crowded, he hated that, usually he woke up early so he could avoid the crowds. He kept fidgeting with his bag on the ride, keeping his face casted down and hiding behind his sunglasses and messy hair. When he finally reached his stop he burst through the doors, rushing up the stairs at an achenly rate. His calves burned but he needed to get out of there before his chest exploded. He hauled up to the truck parked across from the office, barking his coffee order.

The lady at the counter seemed slightly alarmed at the harshness of Spencer's voice but he couldn't find it in him to care. When he got his coffee he hurried off, rushing up to his office. When he got there he noticed everyone wasn't at their desks and he could see them gathered around the round table.

"Damn it" he huffs under his breath, rushing in and quickly taking his seat. The group got quiet for a minute before resuming the debriefing of their case. Spencer took a sip of his coffee and winced, wasn't enough sugar, they never put enough sugar in it. 

 Spencer wasn't paying attention to the case, his head wouldn't settle. Instead it was focusing on the lights and how harsh they were even though he had sunglasses on. It was focusing on the fact that he had to keep his leg bouncing or he definitely would explode and he didn't want to make his team scrape his guts off the conference room walls. He couldn't focus on the brutally murdered people on the screen because instead he was focusing on how he had his bag in his lap and he could feel the vial pressing against his side, nothing but a thick piece of leather between the two.

Spencer couldn't focus on how his friends were shooting him concerned glances because instead he couldn't stop thinking about how many steps away the jug of sugar was from him.

34.5 steps.

Maybe 25 if he rushed.

He took another swing of coffee and cursed under his breath when the hot beverage burned the roof of his mouth.

Why did he do that? Because it was there? Because the warm cardboard he fingers gripped made his insides feel hollow and he needed to warm up now.

 He needed to shoot up now.

No he couldn't, Hotch was standing,

"Wheels up in thirty"

Oh maybe he could, if he hurried. He just needed a little, to ease him. 

Spencer stood quickly, ignoring how his vision dimmed and his feet became unsteady and he quickly rushed to the small counter the office had with all the coffee condiments. He poured the sugar into his cup, not caring that he added so much that the dark liquid was now dripping over the edge of the cup and running down to pool on the counter.

"Hey kid" Morgan's voice startled Spencer.

"Uh, hi"

"You ok?"

"Yea why wouldn't I be?" Spencer put the lid back onto his cup, he really needed to get to the bathroom.

"Well you where late"

"So" Spencer snapped, making Morgan raise his eyebrows

"You're never late." Morgan replied, holding his hands up in a questioning manner.

"Well today I am, now excuse me I need to use the restroom" Spencer's voice was harsh and it threw Morgan off guard, he had never heard the young man speak like that, especially to him. Derek was so shocked that he didn't fight Spencer asd the young man walked past him, beelining toward the bathroom. Morgan shook his head before returning to his desk and grabbing his go bag. He noticed Spencer's bag on his desk and grabbed the geniuses bag for him. Then with a shake of his head Morgan followed Emily out to the plane.