Walk me through the dark

17

By three that next afternoon Morgan was hauling Spencer into the passenger seat of his car. The doctors were hesitant to release Spencer, but the young man was climbing up the walls. He refused any help they tried to give him, shifting between snapping at anyone near him, to becoming so agitated and terrified he had to be sedated.  Of course every time he woke up from being sedated he would spend the next hour or so being depressed and ashamed, before snapping back into rage.

Morgan also wanted Spencer to stay, thinking the hospital would be the best place for Spencer right now but he also knew how much Spencer hated hospitals and that forcing him to stay there may do more harm than good. He did promise the nurses though that if Spencer wasn't getting better or  worse or too much for Morgan to handle, that he would bring the young doctor back.

The ride back to Morgan's house was silent, the occasional groan leaving Spencer as he tried to get comfortable in the seat.

"Why can't I just go home" Spencer mumbled,

"Because Reid, we already went over this, my house is more suitable for us, don't worry we will bring you stuff over"

After that they fell silent again.

When they got to Morgan's house, the older man kept  his arm around Spencer's waist as the two moved up the few stairs. When they reached the couch Morgan helped Spencer sit down before tossing all their bags onto the ground near the couch.

"I need to go call Hotch, update him" Morgan says quickly before stepping into the hallway.

As soon as Morgan left, the warmth of the room left, and was replaced by the smell of burning fish. Spencer started trembling, his eyes darting around the room. He saw Morgans living room, his hands clenched the couch cushion, it was still there under his hands. Spencer was still clearly at Morgan's house, it just smelled like he was there.

Unless, unless he really was there, and his mind was playing a trick on him. That the past few months didn't really happen and he was just hallucinating being saved. The thought made his heart pound against his ribcage. His hands tightened around the cushion, and he felt his waist start to move as he began to slowly rock back and forth.

When Morgan returned, he quickly ran to Spencer's side.

"Reid?"

"I need it '' Spencer mutters, he needed it, it stopped the hallucinations, it made him see reality. The long existing fear of following his mother, of losing his mind as well, became so much more real when he couldn't tell where he was.

"no , no your just going to struggle for a little bit but you'll be fine, i'll make sure of that"

"Where, where am i?"

"Your at my house Spencer, your at Derek's house"

"Derek, Derek Morgan" Spencer mumbled the name under his breath.

"Yea, hey Reid, come on, breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, that's it long breaths" Spencer mimicked Morgan as he took exaggerated breaths. Finally the man calmed down, but his bottom lip wobbled when he whispered again,

"I'm becoming like my mother"

"What? Spencer what do you mean?"

"I'm losing my mind" Spencer said softly looking up and making eye contact with Morgan, who swore his heart shattered and stopped beating right there.

"No, nah, no pretty boy, you're not losing your mind, you're just going through withdrawal" Morgan had moved one of his hands to cup the side of Spencer's head, twisting his hands in the man's hair. "You can do this, and we are all here to help you". Spencer let out a deep sigh before slumping forward and resting his forehead on Morgans shoulder, whose's hand came up to rest on the back of Spencer's head. The two sat like that for a minute before Spencer let out a yawn.