I Was Once A Normal Girl

First full day.

                My alarm went off at 5 reminding me off school. I sat up and turned it off getting out of bed and looking around I noticed it was not the blue color of my walls, or the purple color of my walls at the boys house. It was white wall. And then I remembered I am in rehab trying to get better. Today I will have to eat, and keep it down. I still stay out of bed and make my way to the shower. It in the bathroom there is a shower and a toliet. the sink has a mirror above it that I reject to look at. I plug my phone into the speakers next to a blow dryer that is sat at the counter.

                I turned the hot water on and stepped into it letting the hot water surround me and I feel my body turn red from the terribly hot water. Once I feel clean enough I turn the water off and step out. I am not aloud to shave my legs here because they fear that I will cut myself on purpose, so once I get out I will probably look like bigfoot. I turn the speakers up so that I can here the music while I blow dry my hair. I place on my purple laced panties and matching bra and start my mornign process. I take my makeup bag out and pulled out the things I will need.

                I put my coverup on followed by multiple coats of mascara. I put a thin layer of eyeliner to make my blue eyes pop. When I step from the mirror to look at myself I look at all my fat. It's disturbing really. It's nasty. I can't continue to look at myself so I leave the bathroom leaving my music playing. It's 6:30 now and someone knocks on my door. I quickly take the towel that was over my head that now sits on bed and wrap it around my half naked body.

          "Oh you're up!"Laura seems suprised.

                "Yes." I don't smile or anything because I do not want to be here.

                "Well be ready at 7!" She shouts over her sholder as she walks from my room.

                I slam the door behind her and sit back on my bed laying back puts relief over my body. I stand up and look out the window. The ocean moves swiftly back and forth like it is kissing the beach. It goes back to the sky and looks never ending. I smile at the site but the sound of my ringtone overflows from the bathroom and I run for me phone.

                "Hello?" I say eargerly.

                "Hey love!" Nialls Irish accent send chills from my head to my feet.

                "Hey you." I make my way to my small wardrobe looking through the clothes.

                "What are you doing?"

     "Well I have to be ready by 7 so I can't really talk, but I will call you when I can." I say and he sighs.          

                "Okay love, be safe. Iwill tell the others you say hi." He hangs up the phone and I toss mine onto my bed.

                I finally find a outfit to wear. It's dark jeans with a sweater that says 'Pretty mother fucker' on it. I did a shoot with this outfit. I look back and remember the shoot, I miss my modeling. My thoughts are interupted by the knocks of Laura at my door. I shut my phone off and slide it back on my bed so it doesn't die while I am gone and shut the light off opening the door to see Laura there with her annoying smile on her face.

                "Ready?"

                "Nope." I pop the p and she laughs thinking I am kidding but I'm not. I want to go home.

                ****

                "So Cheyenne. When did you first start having these thoughts."