The Art of Finding Jasmine Rose Peters

30

'Your future is in your hands. Repeat it until it sticks.'

~JRP

"You need rehab."

Three words, and Hayden was out. The voices in her head were telling her it can't be. How? They asked. No, it can never happen. But her ears, they were telling her another story. One that spoke of hours away from home, from work, from her friends and from Calvin.

You need rehab.

She expected tears streaming down her face and reaching her lips, ear-shattering screams or anything that her mind could do to take her focus away from it, but there was nothing. Just her, the three words that wouldn't stop repeating themselves, and her shallow intakes of breath.

It wasn't until the doctor had asked if she'd heard what he said that she remembered where she was. Of course she had heard him. It had ruined her plans — no; she had ruined everything.

His face held a look that was almost sympathetic. But it wasn't; it had been practiced so many times that it would never serve its purpose on her — maybe someone else, but not her.

She hardly recognized her own voice as she thanked him, collected the results of the urine and blood test, the brochure for the rehabilitation center, and walked her way out of the disinfectant-smelling hospital.

Shaky hands brought out her phone as she typed a quick text and sent it.

Meet me at C & C in 10. Tell the rest.

Her thumb was hovering over the switch button when a reply came in.

Calvin: K. Is anything wrong tho?

She turned off the phone, took in three long breaths, then entered the cabbie that brought her and had been waiting for her to finish.

Everything is wrong, and I don't know how to tell you.

***

The pastries shop was buzzing with life when Hayden entered. Businesspeople with their suits and polished shoes who were probably on their lunch break were munching on the delicious goods the shop had to offer. The uniformly dressed waitresses and waiters were bustling around, catering to their every need.

Hayden wanted to turn around when she saw the place working in perfect harmony without her. She was afraid what she had to stay would disturb the balance. But she didn't have that luxury. Besides, her friends should be there or on their way.

"Lyra, can I speak to you?"

The jersey-clad waitress had finished serving a table and was going back to see if there were any other orders.

"Can it wait? I have—" She stopped whatever she was saying when she saw the look on Hayden's face. She nodded and followed her.

Hayden led the way to the window booth that the gang liked to sit in. She was surprised to find them already sitting there, waiting patiently for her. She clearly hadn't told them for a long while, so how were they already there? Maybe it was because she spent a lot of time before getting there.

Low conversation was going on when she and Lyra arrived there, but quickly ceased as she found a seat beside Wren. Wren squeezed her arms as she scooted for her to sit down. Everyone muttered their greetings and made space for Lyra to also sit down. It was Lyra that first spoke up.

"So, what do you want to talk about, Hayden?" she said, straightening her apron. "I do have to go back to work before Mr. Brown notices me sitting down."